Finding Me

Nine

I must have fallen asleep but when I woke up I heard Giann's voice outside the door, it sounded like she was talking to Kym.

She broke the girls nose in two places and busted her lip, you know I don't tolerate that behaviour no matter what the cause.

I know and I'm going to talk to her about it.
What is the story behind this whole thing. I know Alexa and she doesn't just go around punching people.

The girls said Finely was talking to her and then things just happened. But I also had one separate student told me Finely approached Alexa and said some nasty stuff to her. And that she walked away but Finley kept following her. This resulted in Finley,according to the student calling Alexa a bitch more than once. The student said Alexa only spoke once, she said and I quote 'call me a bitch one more time.' Where Finely did and Alexa then hitting her twice once in the mouth and once on her nose. That is a more believable story than the one from the girls but I still don't tolerate fighting in any form.

I'll get it sorted right now.

And make sure it doesn't happen again.

I know Alexa has a problem with being violent but not unless she was provoked. I worked hard over the years I've known her to get her to this much control. She has a short temper but she is usually quiet she doesn't even talk much. I'll fix this, I'm sure it won't happen again.

Good night Ms. Lane.

Good night Ms. Kym.

My room door opened and closed then the bed sank a little so I know Giann was waiting for me to explain.

Talk.

It's like she just said. Everything the girl told her is exactly how it all went.

Why do you always go completely mental when people call you a bitch? It's always that same word. I need to know why and no holding back this time. I know you keep lying to me about it so why?

I buried my head in the sheets as the tears began to build up in my eyes again.

Cause that's what he kept calling me when he raped me over and over that night. He said I was a dirty bitch that's why my mom didn't want me.

Who are you talking about?

He said no one would believe a troubled runaway foster kid that she got raped. I believed him.

Tell me who did that Alex. And when did that happen?

Mr. Aimes did.

Alexa we could have found out the truth he could have been sent to prison. You were just 13. You should have told me Alex. I feel so worthless, I should have known, you stopped talking to me for weeks. I thought it was because it was getting close to your father's memorial.
Oh my God Alex you went through that alone, you must have felt like you had no one.
You should have told me. She was crying while holding on to me. She was breaking inside for me, how could she do that when I needed her to be strong for me.

I'm sorry Giann. I didn't know any better I was still a child. Please stop crying I need you to be strong for me. I need you. I have enough nightmares about it. I don't want to go to sleep to see you breaking apart for me, that will haunt me forever.

She stopped crying and I let her hold me until she decided to let go.

That's why you don't sleep at nights?

I shook my head yes.The images keep flashing in my head when I close my eyes and when people touch me from behind I feel like I'm experiencing it all over again.

I'm sorry Alex. I failed to keep you safe.

But you did, you made sure I was safe.  You let me stay at your house the second night after I ran away. You made sure it didn't happen again. When I told you I wanted to leave you took me out without a question.
I'm ok now. I am I just don't like people calling me a bitch.

She cried some more, then her phone rang.

Hello who is this?
She was back to being professional. She still sounded broken to me she was still hurting from what I went through. Most people wouldn't care since I'm not their child but she did.

Giann has three children her oldest daughter Quinn was 15 then her son nickael 13 then Jesse who was 6. They spent weekends with their father and went to their grandparents after school.

I'll be home in a few minutes Jesse. Tell your sister to order something to eat.
She hung up the phone wiped her eyes and looked at me.
I am really sorry.

It's okay. You need to go home now, your kids are waiting.

I'll see you tomorrow.

You don't have to I'll be okay. Really.

And no more fights you know how it is,  if you get into another fight you will have to leave. Yes, you got all the blame since you threw the first punch and the fact that you don't even have a scratch on you.
You broke her nose in two places and her lip is busted. You need to learn better control of your temper Alex.

I know. I tried walking away but she followed me.

I heard. They shortened your stay a week, Karen called. They are excited so they want you to move in this Friday. As an after thought she asked.
You're okay being around him right?

Yeah I am. He's different.

Giann got up and walked through the door. I fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

The clock on the wall said 8:15. I needed a quick shower before lights out. I grabbed my stuff and walked to the bathrooms I saw that it was empty so I stripped down and hopped under the shower. It felt good but I had to hurry if I wanted to make it back to the room before all the lights went out. I wasn't afraid of the dark, I didn't want to get caught in the halls after lights out cause I would get punished for breaking the rules. I think I'm in enough trouble for now.

I finished in record time..packed up my stuff and sprinted back to the room I made it just as the lights went off. I put down my stuff and fell into bed I didn't even bother looking for clothes I wrapped the towel around me and began to fall asleep to the sound of the rain hitting the window glass.

I think I needed a phone or something I don't even know if Giann got home yet.

The kiss is the last thing on my mind before sleep finally took over.