My depression is more than just witty lyrics and sad poems
It's not showering for weeks
When your skin turns greyish and your mother begs you to put on deodorant but you don't have the energy
It's a messy room beyond the quirky kind
Hoping the landlord doesn't see this and garbage littering the floors
It's friends afraid to ask how you're doing
Expecting a gritty answer and the scary truth
It's an emptiness spreading over your chest in its numb fashion
It's the same day repeating over and over and the significance of important routines wearing off
It's an irregular sleeping pattern and begging yourself to sleep as the morning sun is peeking behind your curtains
Then you beg your mind not to take you to the darkest places in your dreams
Afraid it might happen
Sleeping in crumbs because you have lost the willpower to even make a respectful resting place for yourself
Greasy hair adorns your head and a disgusting feeling in your mouth clings because you haven't brushed your teeth for too embarrassing to remember
Spiraling down even though you've already spiraled down
The bed marks out where you sleep because you don't leave it for more than half an hour at a time
Your mother tells you it's a great day outside
But you've forgotten in your hibernation what that's like
So you nod and tell her you don't feel like going outside either way
You either grasp at any chance of social interaction you can
Because you feel so lonely and forgotten about
Or you ignore it all in your fatigue
You feel fatigue even though all you've done is being alive
But that's a hard task enough
Your clothes remain the same for weeks as the stains grow more in numbers
But you can't find a reason to care
My depression is so much more
It's the ugliest kind
Not the tragically beautifully crying with mascara tears
I can't even remember the last time I put makeup on
It's a depression leaving people disgusted by you and distancing themselves from you
In a fear that you will bleed all over them
It's so much more than broody moments making you seem cynically intelligent
It's laying in a fetus position wishing somebody heard your scream through your closed lips
My depression is so much more than the recovery story you had in mind
It's forever there
My depression is so much more than what's painted for the public
It's scary, disgusting, empty and horrible
But most importantly of all
My depression was never there to please your view
YOU ARE READING
~Poems~
PoetryI have always loved writing poems, so I'll post some of them here! Hope you'll like them!
