Nico di Angelo One-shots

Acceptance

Trans!Nico X Will

I closed my eyes, hoping to not spill any more tears.

A woman is a woman, she had said. You need to buck up and accept yourself already.

I have! I cried. You haven't.

She snarled, You liar.

I take a deep breath in. Does nobody get it? Nobody? At all?

I took out my phone, rubbing my cheek. I went into my contacts.

Nico: I told her

Leo: What'd she say?

Nico: I don't understand why people don't listen. I don't understand why this sudden word makes everyone hate others. Hate ME.

Leo: She didn't accept you?

Nico: She said I need to accept myself.

Leo: That's stupid.

Leo: Do you want me to call her?

Nico: No. I don't want to deal with anyone at the moment.

I felt my phone buzz but I didn't check it.

You liar.

The way she snarled that at me, just told me there was no hope in explaining. Of all people, I thought Hazel would understand. Of course she still loves me, and said so, I'm her sibling, but. . . this is me. I'm her brother, not sister, and she called me that before she knew.

Transgender, I think to myself. A burdening curse.

I open up my phone again. "Will?" I put the speaker to the side of my head.

"Yes?"

"Can you please come to my cabin?"

"I'm in the infirmary, I can't right now. I'm sorry. Are you all right?"

I take a shaky breath. "Yeah. I'm fine. See you later then."

"Bye, sweetie."

I sigh, hanging up. Will no one understand? If my own sister. . .

Shut up, Nico! Leo is here for you.

I look at my phone. I have 2 messages from him.

I shut it off and lay down in my bed, thinking.

Sister. Woman. Girl. She. Her.

That's not me. It's just not.

I feel like I'm lost in a void, crashing into other lost people but everyone only causing more damage. Our only saviors either drown with us or give up before they do. There's not outstretched arm for me to take. No wire to hang from. No one to turn to.

There's only me and this darkness, me and this strange body of mine.

~

After another few minutes, I decide to stop wallowing in my own self-pity, and to get up and do what I need to do. I quickly change, putting on my binder as well, and roughly comb my hair.

I have duties and I can't just let them slide so I could over-think everything.

I step outside of my cabin. On my way to the strawberry fields, Hazel crosses my path.

"Hi!" she smiles, like our last conversation had never occurred.

I stick it through her head it did, "Don't just bounce up to me like that, after what you said to me."

She furrowed her eyebrows, "Sorry. I guess you aren't feeling better. . ."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I just thought you were confused and upset, since you're claiming to be a guy. It's okay, you know. I know I was a little rough on you before, but I care, I really do. I have to go to the pegasi stables, but see you later."

I pinch my nose in anger, clenching my fists, pace, nearly cry hot tears. I start to panic.

Where's Will?

I turn to be in the direction of the infirmary, and I run there as fast as I can. I bolt through the demigods and find Will talking with Kayla. I immediately puppy him aside, as he apologizes to Kayla for the interruption.

Once we're alone, "What is it?"

I barrel into his chest. I told him everything.

"Sh, sh, Sunshine. It's okay." he kisses my head. I sniffle, trying to stifle my cries.

"Calm down." he hands me a bottled water.

I drink half of it before I can stop choking my salty tears.

"It's gonna be okay, Nico. Look, I accept you. That's all you need, right? My love? It's okay." he kisses my cheek and repeats that it's okay.

"Is it?" I question, thinking about the sibling relationship I had, again, lost.

He nods, hugging me, caressing me, "Yeah. It's okay."

I fold my arms against my chest, feeling the binder against me. "I love you, Will." I whisper.

"I love you too. Come on, I have to go. Go do what you've got to do, I'll see you at lunch."

I nod and wipe my eyes, mumbling a "thank you" as I walk out of the infirmary and into the world of healthy demigods.

I saw Hazel feeding a pegasus--Blackjack, I think it was--and wonder if humans were the only animals that felt dysphoria too.

I folded my arms softly against my chest. Will my problems ever go away?

The answer: no. But I take a deep breath, and carry out my day's activities without worrying and trying not to care. I have Will, and that's all I need. He loves me, as I am, as I will be, and that's okay. Where there's a Will, there's a way.

At lunch, I spot Will.

I take another deep breath, a faint grin painting itself across my cheeks.