I need you now - 5 seconds of summer

Chapter four

Ashton's pov

We saw (me and Mickey) Luke and Calum walk into the kitchen looking perkier then ever "what's you two's deals why are you so giddy today" Mickey said look sexier then ever.... WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!!! "let's just pretend I didn't just think that" I accidentally said out loud "what did you think?" Mickey said raising an eyebrow causing my to blush terribly "did I just make Ashy blush?" I looked at the table "Luke, Cal did you see that?" he said giggling "I did Mickey" we said in unison causing us both to laugh "Ashy what did you think?" Calum asked.

"Leave me alone you've been asking for 20 minutes I'm obviously not gonna tell ya so leave will ya Luke?" i said sitting behind my bedroom door.

I'm not sure why they care so much it's nothing "you like Michael don't you Ash?" SHIT!! "Hahahahahahahhahah what... Pshhhh hahaha..... yeah is it really that obvious?" I said with my head in my hands "let me in" he sounds angry "NO!" I exclaimed "Do you wanna build a snowman?" I furrowed my eyebrows "what?" "come on let's go and play I hardly see you anymore come out the door it's like you've gone away!!" he sang loudly "Really Luke your so weird" I laughed standing and opening the door "I'm the bestestest ever actually" he said winking "umm no your not" his smile turned to a frown "that was mean don't say that".

Calum's Pov

I'm still shaken from my dream but I know he would never harm himself if it's anyone it's gonna be me.

I hurt myself to feel... Something at the moment I feel numb like I don't feel sad happy I feel nothing.

I want so bad to pick up that blade and cut as deep as I can and see if I feel anything then, but Luke, Luke would be so disappointed and I don't want to disappoint my love my life (although he doesn't know he might notice) so I tackle the feeling the best I can, but the feeling is so over powering.

I walk to my mirror and my eyes, my eyes were full of emptiness I could see right through them.

It terrified me to see so in that moment my mirror was on the floor in thousands if tiny fragments and instead of walking away carefully I walked straight on top Of the tiny fragment.

It hurt but it was one of those pains I crave.

A sudden bang at my door knocked me out of my slight trance and I realise what I'm doing and it hurt, it really hurt.

I stumble away from my mess with tears spilling from my eyes "one minute I'll be out in a minute" I said trying to his my sobs "Calum what the fuck is going on? are you okay? please answer me" I sat on my bed looking at my blood stained feet and falling back into this horrible trance.

I stumble to the door struggling to unlock it but finally doing it, I fall into Luke's arms as soon as the door is opened not being able to stand "Calum what the fuck happened why is there blood everywhere?" he said tear trickling down his cheeks "I'm sorry Luke please don't be sad I'm sorry" he pulled me to the floor so I was on his lap "Calum show me where it hurts" I turned around so I faced him an showed him my feet looking disappointed in myself "awe Cal why did you do this?" he said his voice was so soft "I feel nothing I'm not sad or happy I'm nothing and I can't take it I need to feel something and pains the only thing" "no Cal it's not its really not" I sat there looking at him whilst he pulled little shards of mirror from my feet.

I didn't flinch I didn't even blink, I felt nothing and I was killing me "does it hurt Cal?" I shook my head "not even slightly" he just lightly smiled and carried on pulling glass from my feet.

He bandaged it up "meet me in my room 10 minutes I nodded when I reality I was shitting myself.