Rush's Book of Insanity: Part Three

500 words of me being irrationally upset

EDIT: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE SPACING

I never really started shipping anything new in s2

I mean

I ship Admella

And I briefly shipped Jack and Vos

And I completely think Radar has a crush on Jesse

But other than that, I just kinda...eh.

I guess Naomie thought the whole thing was just too somber for shipping

Idk

Do I want to talk about what I'm actually thinking??

Do I actually want to go there??

Might as well.

What if that's really the end

What if there's nothing more to say

What if that's just...it
the Order going their separate ways, suggesting they may never see each other again

What if there's no more story to be told

I need an answer

If there really is no more... I need to know

It might break me-

Okay no it will. If I get complete confirmation that it's over, I'm gonna cry like mad. I already start tearing up if I think about it too much, like maybe it really is the end.
But at least I'll know.
I won't be waiting for something that won't come.

I think I'm making too big a deal over this...but I don't know how else to say it

What if it's the end
Where do I go from here

I'm a mess

So far, MCSM has helped clean me up. Knowing that there will be more has kept me sane

(Well okay. Partially sane.)

It's kept me anchored in the real world because I know I have a fantasy to escape to.

It's stupid to get so attached to something you know is gonna end
But I did anyway
I couldn't help it

There's fanfictions. There's AUs. There's still the fanbase...for now.
There'll be other fandoms

But honestly, MCSM saved me from a big post-fandom downfall. The end of the HTTYD series hit me really hard, and I think 14-year-old me would've been way more upset over it if I hadn't found MCSM when I did

So if it's really over

Where do I go from here

I just want to know if that's the end or not

(Tbh I'd kinda like to see TTG pull a Last Immortals kind of thing. Where the Order is split up and a new main character has to reunite them because of a new threat. I mean srsly Telltale, you could EASILY do that, with the way you ended s2!)

But what if that's just wishful thinking? What if that end, really was the end to it all?

And I feel STUPID, for getting so worked up over this. IT'S JUST A GAME

BUT IT'S SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT TO ME

And I know some of my friends think I'm an immature idiot for being so attached to this game

But it's not as much the game, but what it means to me

It's not as much, 'Minecraft Story Mode', it's having something I can escape to and hold onto and write about. It's about having something that I feel is mine, yet I share with so many other people.
And I have other fandoms. But this one fused itself to my soul, and I don't know what to do without it.

The HTTYD series was my childhood. I grew up at the same time the characters did. And when it ended, I lost a little bit of myself. If I hadn't found MCSM, I think I would've lost way more. Story Mode gave me back the piece of me I had lost...

And now that MCSM is over...maybe for good...it's hitting me way harder than it should.
I'm at a bit of a tough stage in my life right now- trying to transition from child to adult, and MCSM ending kinda pulled the rug out from under me. The piece of myself it had given me is being taken away again, and I know it might be time for that, but I'm not ready.

This stupid game with its stupid characters and stupid plot has become my effing lifeline, and I hate myself for loving it so much

And i hate myself for saying all this

I hate that I get upset so easily

But if there's an alternative, I'm not seeing it.

I feel like such an overemotional idiot for getting so attached to this game, for letting it sink so deeply into who I am, and I guess that's just me. I get attached to stupid things and I cry and I break and that's just become normal.

I need to know

I need to know if there's still something to wait for, or if it's time to give up and move on

It's hard...letting go
I'm finally at peace,
But it feels wrong

-Rush left to probably cry a lot-

No, wait.

Not probably.