Rush's Book of Insanity: Part Three

i'm okay, i just...i'm okay, don't worry, its fine this is fine it's all fine

thanks

just

thank you

it doesn't take much for me t go down but you all help bring me back up

even if all you say is 'i don't know what to say' you're still here and i know that you care and it helps

you should know- i don't cut without a reason. it's only if i'm mad at myself and feeling numb, and to be honest it helps a lot, with me and my fucked-up brain. some part of it helps 'wake me up' from my emotions, and it's kind of my only method of expressing myself

in oher words it's completely sick and i need to stop, but once you start it's seriously difficult to stop

so don't cut, kids

anyway thank you all for being my emotional support. even if you don't think there's much you can do, the littlest things can help a lot

and honestly thank you aiden for yelling at me last night. i'm sorry i snapped at you, i know you were just trying to help and i was just too mad to take you seriously, but thanks anyway. 

i have yet to scroll back through the conversation but i'm pretty sure i said something horrid to you so i'm sorry

*cough* The rest of y'all are my kind uplifters, he's being my protective older brother

which includes being rather extremely blunt and yes, yelling at me when i need it. and i seem to need it sometimes.

i don't know what i'm going to do about my mom. just...argh. i'm not gonna purposely bring up the fight, but if there's one thing i can't stand, it's people completely glossing over a major problem. but i know she's kinda unstable...so i can't say anything. i'm basically just trapped again, yay. 

so i guess i'll just see what happens

nd i might be offline for a little while but idk yet

-rush left to go home and draw angst-