Shadowhunters Imagines & Preferences

Alec ~ Small Bump

Sorry but this is gonna be really fucking sad...like really sad.

Also potentially triggering so please read cautiously.

***

You knew the moment you felt that horrible pain in your stomach that there was something wrong.

The blood was your second tip.

Alec had been quick to react, getting you and himself out of bed, lifting you into his arms and straight into the car. He wanted to take you to the infirmary at the Institute but knew you wouldn't like it...you had insisted upon having mundane doctors throughout the pregnancy. You were mundane and you wanted your baby to be born that way.

By the time you got to the hospital, they immediately rushed you in.

That was your third tip - they only rushed the emergency cases straight in.

You'd yet to speak to anyone yet. Alec was the person the doctors turned to for answers because you...you were just frozen, trapped in your own mind.

You caught glimpses of the questions Alec had been asking.

'Is she okay?'

'Is the baby going to be okay?'

'Is this a miscarriage?'

'Have we lost our baby?'

You didn't need to ask any of these questions because you knew the answer to them all. You weren't okay and you weren't sure you ever would be again.

You'd lost the baby, you knew it. You couldn't explain how, maybe it was a mother's intuition but you just knew it was all over.

You'd felt it the minute you'd been wheeled into the emergency room, you felt the hope in you die, you felt a piece of yourself die.

"Y/N...babe, they need you to answer some of these" Alec whispers, his hand gripping yours so tightly his knuckles were white - you hadn't noticed, "I can't...I can't answer some of these because I don't what's happening."

"It's gone" you reply, blankly

"What do you-" Alec stutters, his face draining of all colour, "What-What are you saying?"

"It's gone" you repeat, your face void of all emotion, "I want to go home. Take me home."

"We have to wait for the doctor-"

"Alec" you snap, "Please. Take me home."

Alec stares at you in surprise, a note of disgust lingering in his expression. You couldn't understand that, you were acting like this was nothing but a very annoying inconvenience that had woken you up in the middle of the night.

But he didn't get it. You knew the baby was gone. You knew you had miscarried. The little sprig of life you had felt blossoming within you was gone, you could feel it and being in this place wasn't helping.

"Okay" Alec sighs, offering you a hand, "Let's go home."

***

The doctors hadn't given you any grief about leaving before they could consult you...maybe it was because they knew that you knew what had happened. Or maybe they didn't want to dare ask you to stay longer than another second in that place.

They may not have experienced it but you were sure they'd seen enough of this to know that the best thing to do is let the mother deal with it in her own time.

You wish you could say you were thankful but you weren't. You couldn't feel anything. Pain, sadness, anger, love - you couldn't feel any of it.

It was like those scenes in the movies where that charachter has a kind of out-of-body experience, like they feel like they're watching from outside of themselves, hovering around like a dark cloud.