New 새로운 // BTS

66

Jimin's POV:

"RaeJae, would you like anything in particular for dinner? I know you're probably excited to have something other than hospital food," I say to emotionless being next to me.

"I don't think she's gonna answer..." Hoseok trails off, Probably because he realized that he shouldn't say that.

"Hyung, shut up," I hiss, "you heard what the nurse said. Treat her as you would normally,"

"Yeah but how am I supposed to do that when all she does is stare at a wall," Jungkook frowns quietly enough so that she can't hear.

I give him a small pat on the shoulder but can't help the feeling of guilt that crawls up my throat. If I had just stayed where I was none of this would have happened.

"How about we go to that place that has Hot Pots? It's her favorite" Yoongi suggests allowing for Jin to start the car.

"How do you know that's her favorite place?" Namjoon asks.

"Because I do," Yoongi shrugs.

I turn back to the front to the front of the car and away from RaeJae who is sitting in the back. If I look at her wilting expression any longer I think I may throw up. I don't know if I can handle the amount of guilt I feel.

"I don't mean to rush anything but we have practice tomorrow morning... I tried my best to get it pushed back but our choreographer is only free for tomorrow and we really need to master I Need U," Namjoon says out of the blue.

I purse my lips while looking at him, knowing that RaeJae, Jungkook, and practically all of us need time to cope with what happened. Despite all of us surviving I'm not sure if I can completely accept the outcome. I just want everyone to be happy again.

RaeJae's POV:

I'm honestly not hungry.

I don't think I'll ever be hungry again.

After all... a murderer probably doesn't deserve food anyway.

The boys continue to have conversations among themselves. Every once in a while asking me a question but then just laughing it off or answering it for me. I don't even know why I can't talk it's almost as if my voice was removed.

Every time I want to say something I feel this overwhelming desire to vomit. I know it sounds gross but I just feel so much more comfortable keeping my mouth closed.

Although this one awful feeling refuses to go away. I constantly feel guilty to the point where it almost hurts. Usually you can rid guilt just by confessing or fixing the issue but I can't do either.

"We're here!" Hoseok exclaims in his usual cheerful tone. However, is it weird to think that his cheerfulness only causes me more pain?

I want to exclaim happily with him but I can't so it hurts.

"Are you cold?" I look to my right, Yoongi is looking at me as he normally would.

I shake my head.

"You shouldn't lie, you know. If you're cold for too long you might catch a cold," He sighs, helping me out of the car and zipping up my coat for me.

"Take this," He says, wrapping a scarf around my neck, "now you're set,"

Even with all these layers I feel freezing.

I watch the boys go on ahead, unable to follow along for my legs refuse to move.

My world is spinning out of control yet life is moving foreword. With ever step they take I'm taking none because I'm stuck in the moment I held that gun in my hand.

"Rae!" Jungkook jogs back to join me, "let's go! It's cold out here,"

He takes my hand and ushers me to the front of the Chinese restaurant. It may be true that I love Hot Pot but I can't bring myself to eat right now.

To be honest all I want to do is sleep the days away until I can forget. Unfortunately I think that's an unrealistic option in the case scenario. If only I had the option of turning on and off certain memories.

Jungkook's POV:

"How can I just act like nothing is wrong?!" I grit my teeth at Namjoon who pulls me aside.

We stay behind while the others choose a table.

"Because that's how she will get better!" He tells me sternly.

"I don't think that method will do anything," I shake my head, "maybe she should have stayed in the hospital,"

"Jungkook! She's not sick she's just traumatized. These sort of things take time, not medical care," He looks at me as if I know nothing about this world. I hate it.

I let out an annoyed sigh, walking away from him to sit with the rest of them. RaeJae is simply staring out the window with Yoongi sitting next to her. I don't understand how he is so unaffected by this situation because it's tearing me apart.

"So practice tomorrow," I start while sitting down next to V, "how's it gonna work?"

"What do you mean?" V cocks his head curiously.

"If RaeJae isn't there," I say, everyone looking at me weirdly.

"...she will be there," Jin furrows his eyebrows.

"If she doesn't talk, no she won't,"

"What's your problem?" This time Yoongi speaks up.

"My problem is that RaeJae never even left that classroom that day! You call this the girl we all know!" I exclaim.

"She's not dead, Jungkook?! Why can't you just understand what she's going through," Yoongi yells at a tone that's just enough to not disturb the entire restaurant but also scold me.

"Because if she wants to improve shouldn't she talk to us?! RaeJae, come on, just say something to me," This time I direct my attention to her.

She stares blankly back at me.

"RaeJae please!" I grab her arm roughly which causes her to tear it away.

She stares at me fearfully before leaving her seat to run off somewhere. I quickly go to follow her but Yoongi stops me,

"Don't you dare," he growls, going off to find her himself.

~~~~~

I'm sorry for this short, boring chapter ): I just really wanted to make sure that I had an update go up for this weekend.

{disclaimer: I know I call this boy 'Korean boy' which could come across as offensive, but I felt wrong revealing his name. It's an obvious korean name, but quite uncommon so if you search it up his picture actually pops up lol... Plus 'korean boy' came to mind because he always calls himself that as a joke}

But also... update on the korean boy:

Today I went to the mall with him and omg I think I'm in love HAH (jk but he's awesome). We got the best bubble tea and then went to a bunch of funny stores. Two of my other friends also came along which made it a lot more comfortable.

Tomorrow my school is having a trip to see a basketball game and I'm very excited to go. ((: