New 새로운 // BTS

95

RaeJae's POV:

"So do we have any clues about who is coming in today?" I ask my cohost, Amber from f(x)

"No, the staff just told us that you are a big fan of them," she turns to me with a smile.

I start to laugh, getting all giddy in my chair, "Is it BigBang sunbaenim?"

"You are such a fangirl Of them," she buried her face in her hands, "you literally guess them every time we film,"

I look to the camera, "I'm just waiting for them, okay!"

"We have a bunch of fun games and questions for or group today,"Amber holds up her cards, "but our interview will mostly be in Korean since only one of them is fluent in English,"

I nod at her explanation.

"You're probably okay with that," She looks at me.

"What do you mean?" I giggle.

"You're always so self conscious about your English!" She exclaims.

"Yeah because it's not good," I throw my hands in the air, the camera crew lowkey nodding their heads in agreement.

"Well, without further ado, let's welcome our mystery idols!" Amber cheers, the two of us turning toward the entrance.

As soon as they enter, it feels almost unreal to be look at all of them at once. They all have smiles on their faces, grinning from ear to ear while thy look at me for the first time in almost a year. My eyes dart back and forth from one member to another as they finally take their seats in front of me.

"Oh my god, no way!" Amber gasps, "did you not know about this?"

My head slowly shakes back and forth. I subconsciously gulp, feeling strangely guilty based on the fact of how much they seem to have changed while I was gone.

It's not that I wanted to leave, It's that I felt I had to. With all of the negative media attention towards me I was bringing the potential of BTS down. Not to mention that I needed a way to successfully sort out my feelings for Yoongi, and possibly the feelings of Jimin and Jungkook.

Leaving just seemed like the best option even though it very well felt like the worst.

I make eye contact with Jungkook first who offers me a strange smile. All of them almost look to have forced smiles on their faces that are half real, half scared. Almost like they don't know if they should even be here.

I guess I did a really good job at pushing them away, so I've succeeded to some extent. Maybe pushing them away was a goal of mine, but deep down I didn't want it to work. Every time I told Hobie to leave me alone I didn't mean it but said it anyway.

It was a over text, it's not like they could feel any of my real emotions behind it.

His texts were the only ones I could ever open because he gave me updates on everyone. Sometimes I'd give in and reply, which is why I refused to open any of the others because I know I would have done the same.

"What are you doing? Go hug them," Amber roughly pats me on the back but I'm too shocked to do anything.

So many emotions are swirling around in my small body at once that I don't know which one to act on. One big complication is the fact that we are in live TV, that scares me to death. I'd much rather have this be done in a private setting.

"Dul, set, Bang! Tan! Anneyeonghaseyo, BangtanSonyeondan-imnida~" they all sat together.

I think back to their most recent album and the amount of popularity it gave them, feeling tears sting my eyes. Part of me was sad by watching them break out like that, considering it happened when I was no longer with them.