Finding Me

Here We Go

My anxiety roars as my plane starts to move, the take off if always the worst part for me, maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm stuck on this mechanic bird for however long, with no way of getting off. I watch as the person next to me, smiles widely at the book she's reading, she seems so relaxed, I envy her. I turn quickly to the flight attendant who is fastened in her seat, she must have been on millions of flights, she practically lives on a plane, How is she so okay with all of it?! I finally let go of my arm rest when the plane is 50,000 feet in the air. The girl beside me giggles at her book, she's reading a book called "Beach Blondes" by K. A. Applegate. She seems young, I mean physically she looks about my age, but she just seems so emotionally young, like nothings hurt her yet, I also envy that! By the time my flight lands in Kailua-Kona Hawaii, my nails are bitten down to the root, I know a disgusting habit, it's on the list of things to fix. I grab my carry on, as the girl beside me continues to read, her eyes tracing the pages frantically, I guess it's a climactic part. I sling my backpack up, as the plane slides to a gentle stop
"Aloha passengers thank you for riding with us today, and welcome to Kona international airport, we hope you enjoy your stay at the wonderful island of Kailua-Kona" the flight attendant says over the intercom. People shuffle out of their seats, pushing, thank god I am at the front of the plane, the heat is already soaking through my clothes. As soon as step foot outside, the air wraps around me, almost like a welcoming hug. I can't help but smile, when I see families reunite, they way they run to each other. I grab my bag off the carousel, and head out to the area my aunt told me to meet her. I grab my phone from my backpack, I don't know why actually it's not as if anyone's wondering where I am, I guess out of habit. After a couple minutes of people watching,
I know creepy, my aunt pulls up with her broken down truck.
"Vi, oh god, look at you! I missed you" my Aunt Vicky says, hugging me tightly.
"I missed you to aunt V" I say hugging her back, she smells like suntan lotion, and coconut, the smell makes me nostalgic.
"Come on, everyone's so excited to meet you" she says, quickly putting my suitcase in the back of her truck.
"I'm so glad your here Vi, it's been way to long" she says as she maneuvers her way through the airport parking lot.
"Yeah 10 Years" I say, she looks at me now, her eyes soft, I look away before my emotions boil up.
"How's your mom?" She asks, her voice chipper. I don't know how to answer her, do I just say something like "she's fine" or "she's great?"
"she's good" I respond, she nods her head slightly
"Good" She says. I notice how the roads to her house are empty, it's almost like we're the only people in the world, the feeling washes over me, calming me. We finally get to Aunt V's house, which is a great little beach house, it's like a house out of a Nicolas Sparks book, idilic.
"It looks the exact same" I say, as she grabs my suitcase.
"Well you know me, I love to keep it simple" she says, making me smile, her and my mom could not be more different.
"Come on I'll show you where you'll be staying" she says, as she hands me my bag. I follow her inside, my eyes glued to the water sparkling just down the hill.
"Violet!" Someone yells breaking me from my ocean trance. I look and see my uncle rushing forward, his arms outstretched
"Jesus you've gotten so big" he says as he gives me a big bear hug. My uncle is gigantic, six foot 4 with long brown hair.
"Well it has been a really long time" I respond as he lets me go.
"Leave her be Tom, I have to show her, her room"
My aunt says, grabbing my hand, and dragging me down the hall. She opens the door to the room I use to stay in when I was little, and the nostalgia hits me. I walk in, and it looks nothing like before.
"Wow, you changed it" I say as I run my hand across the beautiful wooden desk that sits under the window.
"Well your not 9 anymore, I thought that you should have a proper room" she says, warmth spreads through me.
"Thank you" I respond, placing my suitcase on my bed.
"Of course, anyway you should freshen up, when your ready, a bunch of people want to see you so I told them we would meet them at the bonfire tonight, that is if your up to it" my aunt says
"Sure, Yeah, ill just change, I smell like plane" I say, she laughs. And heads out of the room, closing the door on her way out. I plop down on my bed, the bed creaking under my weight. I end up changing into some shorts, and my favourite tank top, the heat has already made me sweat out of my t shirt. I put my hair up in a bun, and head out.
"Okay I'm ready" I say, as i walk into my aunt, and uncle kissing, gross.
"Great way to start off this vacation" I say making them jump apart like some horny teenagers getting caught by their parents.
"Sorry, we didn't hear you" my aunt explains, her cheeks a light shade of red.
"Please don't let me stop you, it's nice to see that your age hasn't hindered you in that department," I say, sitting on one of the stools at the island. They both laugh loudly, making me smile.
"Come on, we don't wanna miss the sunset," my uncle says, so we all head out. The walk to the beach is short, and very beautiful. I want to touch everything, It's like it's calling to me.  Once we're on the beach, there are a lot of people sitting around a fire pit laughing, as the waves crash around them.
"V, is this her?" Some older woman asks, her smile wide, and her eyes crinkled.
"Yes this is Violet" my aunt says, pointing to me
"You can call me Vi" I recite my nickname 
"You can call me Linda, or tutu, everyone calls me tutu" she says, her smile widening if that's possible.
"Oh and this is my grandson Kaui" she says pointing to a tall boy, walking this way. He flips his hair in an almost pretentious cocky way. He walks towards us as if gifting us with his presence, I want to vomit
"Sup" he says, I cringe
"This is V's niece," she says, her smile dimming at his greeting
"Ohh, your the girl from Cali" he says, his voice getting more nasally as he talks
"Yup" I respond, wanting to get out of this awkward conversation
"Cool how are the waves down there, wicked?" He asks, his choice of words makes me laugh, I quickly cover my mouth.
"Ugh I wouldn't know I don't surf" I say, quickly getting my laughter under control.
"Makes sense" he says matter of factly, looking me up and down, and making my skin crawl.
"Kaui" his grandmother scolds, he shrugs
"It's okay, I guess you're a total surfer dude, that only cares about wicked waves, and beach babes, am I right?" I ask, he smiles now
"Sounds about right" he says proudly
"So then you also don't have any brain cells.. right"
I ask, he now looks offended, when I hear someone laugh loudly, I look to the person beside Tutu. He's tall, with quaffed hair, green eyes, and tan skin.
"Why are you laughing?" I ask, and he stops
"Sorry, it's just.. the look on his face" he says, I try really hard not to smile, as Kaui grimaces at both of us, he ends up stomping off.
"I'm sorry about him, he got knocked off his board one too many times" tutu says
"It's okay I get judged by my appearance a lot" I blurt out before I realize what I said.
"And you how many times do I have to tell you not to eavesdrop" tutu scolds, the guy beside her, he looks down at the sand in shame, I look around and notice my aunt, and uncle, laughing at something by the water.
"I'm Kai" the guy introduced himself, breaking me from my trance.
"Violet" I reply, he smiles now, and it sends a tiny shiver down my spine.
"Well I'll let you two talk" Tutu says, a smirk on her face.
"So What brings you down here" he asks after Tutu leaves us alone
"Just visiting my aunt, and uncle" I lie, staring at the water.
"Your aunt and uncle are great" he says, sitting down on a log, I sit down as well.
"They are" I reply watching them, splash water at each other.
"You know everyone thinks they're teenagers in disguise," he says, a small, but crooked smile gracing his features.
"I agree, I mean who is this in love after 15 Years together?" I ask, as my parents flashed through my head.
"I want to be" he says, matter of factly
"It isn't as easy as it looks," I say, making him laugh, his eyes sparkle. His laugh is deep and melodic, another shiver runs through me, how can I be shivering right now.
"I think it can be" he responds now looking at me, his eyes stare into mine, and all I want to do is look away, but I can't.
"Alright Mr love" I say breaking this weirdly tense moment we were having, he laughs again.
"Tutu was right" he says, I stare at him incredulously
"What does that mean!" I ask, and he just laughs
"Just that you're cool" he says the last part like Kaui, making me snort, and him laugh.
"Shut it" I say as he keeps laughing at my snort. We end up talking about a bunch of stuff, mostly about how obnoxious Kaui is, but he also told me a lot about the island.
" Violet, we're heading home" my aunt interrupts.
"Oh okay" I say standing up, Kai stands to, his hands in his pockets.
"I guess see you around" I say, he smiles
"Yeah" he says, I start walking to catch up to my aunt, and uncle, when he calls my name
"Vi, wait, there's a party tomorrow, and since you're new here would you want to come?" He asks, slightly breathless from running to me.
"Sure why not" I say, he smiles now, sending another shiver through me.
"Great see you tomorrow" he says, smiling widely. I nod, and continue up the hill to the house. Once I'm at the top of the hill completely out of breath, I turn towards the roaring fire, and all the people still laughing.
"Here we go" I whisper to myself