Finding Me

Fort

I stand outside Dylan's house, my body burning with anxiety. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, my panic slowly fading.
"Hey you Okay" I hear Dylan ask, I turn, he has his hands in his pockets.
"Yeah just needed some air" I say, my voice steadier than I expected he nods.
"You did good in there" he says making me laugh.
"You think, I didn't sound scared?" I ask, he shakes his head moving closer.
"Nope, sturdy as a rock" he responds, I smile.
"Thanks" I tell him, he shrugs.
"You didn't know they kissed" he states, more than asks, I nod.
"No I didn't" I say, taking a seat on the concrete steps, he follows.
"I'm sure it didn't mean anything" he tells me, his voice sincere.
"I know, but he didn't tell me. I'm big on honesty" I say, he nods.
"I get it, but maybe just give him a chance to explain" he suggests.
"Since when are you so adamant on Kai" I laugh, he shrugs.
"Since I realized how much he loves you" he explains, my heart thuds in my chest.
"You guys are disgustingly cute" he tells me making me laugh.
"We are aren't we" I say, he nods vigorously.
"Thanks, for always being there. You know, I think you might be my best friend" I tell him, he laughs
"You think, come on we're totally besties" he says, making me laugh loudly, I hear the door open then and we both turn.
"Can we talk?" Kai asks, I nod, and Dylan stands heading back inside.
"I'm sorry about everything she said, and for not telling you" he says sitting down beside me, a burst of anger surges through me at the thought of them kissing.
"When?" I ask, he groans lowly
"Last year before she left for her wild adventure" he says
"So you also lied about her liking you, you knew she did obviously" I say, my voice softer than I expected.
"It wasn't a lie, the reason we didn't you know date is because she was leaving and she told me she couldn't see us together" he says, and my body turns cold.
"Oh so the truth is you liked her and she didn't like you?" I ask
"Yes,.. what no. I thought I liked her, but the point is I thought she didn't like me" he says, I nod.
"Well you still stood there and basically told me I was crazy for thinking she could like you. The sad thing is if you had told me the truth I wouldn't have cared. I can't ostracized you for your past, but you lied to me and for that I can" I tell him standing up.
"Violet" he whimpers.
"I'm gonna stay at Dylan's tonight, I'd appreciate it if you went home" I say, stepping past him, and inside.
"Hey, you Okay?" Kalani asks, she was waiting by the door, her purse on her arm.
"Fine, I'm just gonna stay here tonight, Kai's heading home" I say, looking around for Dylan.
"Hey, is it okay if I stay over tonight?" I ask him, he nods. Kalani hugs me tightly before she leaves.
"Talk tomorrow" she whispers I nod.
"Want a beer?" Dylan asks once we're alone
"Yes, and keep them coming" I say, spreading out on his giant couch. A couple hours in, and a lot of alcohol later, I'm dancing to no music while Dylan watches.
"I mean I wouldn't have been mad if he had just told me, but no of course not she had to tell me, making me feel once again like the stupid insecure girl at the party" I belt as I dance in circles, my body feels light. I'm not angry while I talk, I'm just stating facts.
"You know, like I'm fun, I can be so fun. But I always end up being the party pooper" I say, my mind whizzing with past experiences. I notice Dylan smiling, and I stop spinning.
"What?" I ask, he shrugs.
"I know I'm hilarious to look at. Look at her, dancing and yelling about her lying boyfriend" I mock myself before plopping down across from him, my stomach sloshes, but I push the feeling down.
"I'm not laughing at you, Its just, you see yourself in such a weird way" he says taking a small swing of his drink, I watch his Adam's apple bob.
"What do you mean?" I ask, grabbing another beer.
"I just mean, I think your the only person who sees yourself as the insecure party pooper, obviously Deenas jealous of you because otherwise she wouldn't try so hard to take Kai" he says.
"Yeah, I guess your right. You know my mom use to say, you always get in your own way Violet, you could be so popular if you just put some effort in" I tell him, mocking her phoney posh voice. He laughs and it fills me with pride.
"I think you might be my best friend" I tell him, my words smashed together,
"So I've heard, you know earlier" he chuckles
"and we're having our first sleep over" I cry, looking around his empty house.
"We need to make a Fort" I scream jumping up off the couch, his eyes light up.
"Come help me grab pillows and blankets" he tells me already rushing up the huge staircase. It takes me longer but I make it up, and we grab as many things as we can carry.
"You know I've never actually made a fort" I say once we're downstairs, trying to figure out where to start.
"Me either" he admits
"Seriously, but haven't you like ever been to a sleepover, oh do boys call it something else like a hang night, or some shit like that?" I ask, he laughs loudly, making me smack him.
"How would I know?" I defend.
"No I've never been to a hang night" he tells me, making me laugh.
"We really are the same person" I say, he nods, his cheeks a tiny shade of red.
"Well then let's just do it, we can make up our own rules" I say picking up a huge red blanket, throwing it across the two couches. He smiles grabbing some Pillows to prop up the edges. We make sure the tv is inside so we can binge watch whatever's on Netflix. It takes us an hour or so but once it's finished it looks amazing.
"Holy shit we're cool" Dylan says as we stand back to admire our work.
"Fuck ya we are" I agree, we grab some more beers and snacks before getting inside this glorious fort.
"We have to name it" he says once we're settled inside.
"Name it why?" I ask, grabbing a handful of popcorn.
"I don't know it seems like the right thing to do" he responds his eyes tracing the fort.
"How about fort awesomeness" I suggested he snorts.
"Way too corny... what about something like the panic room" he says, and something warm erupts inside of me.
"That's perfect" I tell him, he looks proud.
"Now what to watch?" I ask, scrolling through Netflix. We decided on the Grinch, and halfway through it end up falling asleep.