Finding Me

Mommy Dearest

My jealously of Deena doesn't stop if anything it builds. She's always around now, giving me less time alone with Kai. I mean how close can he be to someone he never even mentioned, why didn't he mention her? We're all sitting at a coffee shop, Deena is telling us about how she ran into a cheetah in the safari.
"Can I ask something?" I ask, she nods taking a sip of her iced latte.
"Why don't you have a boyfriend? I'm just asking cause your adventurous, beautiful, and fun so it's confusing?" I say leaning further into the chair, she laughs lightly.
"Well there was a guy, but it wasn't serious. It's nice to know I'm a catch though thanks" she says laughing, Kalani gives me a weird look I shrug.
"So how did you guys meet?" She asks, I don't answer wanting to hear what Kai says.
"We met at a bonfire her first night here, Kaui was being a dick, she stayed something hilarious, and I was hooked" he says looking at me now. The intensity of his eyes being butterflies to my stomach as well as guilt for being so jealous, and untrusting.
"Well I didn't like you till weeks later" I lie, and everyone laughs, while Kai pulls me into a kiss.
"Just kidding," I say, he smirks.
"You guys are adorable," Deena says, making me blush, her eyes look darkly at me making me uncomfortable.
"They're not so adorable when you catch them having sex in the kitchen," Kalani says, making me blush harder.
"We weren't having sex" Kai defends
"Both of your shirts were off" Kalani rebuttals, making Deena laugh.
"Shut it," he says, making them laugh harder.
"Plus I can't help it, she's gorgeous," he says, my heart soars, as I pull him into another kiss.
"You guys are making me want a boyfriend" Deena whines, making Kalani laugh.
"Let's find you one," I say
"There are no good men in this town" she whines
"Hey," Kai says
"Your taken, I mean single men, that are normal, good looking, smart men," she says, and he nods chuckling slightly.
"Hey he's cute," I say pointing to this tall blonde guy at the table in front of us. She discreetly takes a look.
"He's okay, I'm more into the tall dark, and handsome," she says
"Also you just called another guy cute in front of me" Kai states
"Oh don't worry he's not my type, not nearly as cute as you," I say pinching his cheek, he laughs
"No one is" he responds shrugging, I laugh.
"Guys this is about me not how cute Kai is" Deena states.
"Okay, what about him?" I ask pointing to a tall guy near the exit, she grins
"Now he's my type," she says getting up. She walks over to him smiling widely, he notices and grins in her direction. We can't hear what they're saying, but she comes back with a sour face.
"So?" I ask, she glares
"He wanted me to give this to you," she says handing me a napkin with his number, I stare at her shocked.
" What?" I ask confused, she shrugs
"He wanted to go out with you" she reiterates, I groan feeling immensely guilty.
"I'm sorry" I say
"No, it's not your fault your attractive," she says making me feel uncomfortable. I
"I'm still sorry, I really don't get it. You're way more attractive than me" I say honestly, she lets out a puff of air
"Sure, obviously not, but it doesn't matter there are plenty of fish in the sea" she says her smile small. I feel awkward the entire time, my body heating up with anxiety everytime Kai leans in closer while Deena watches sadly.
"Hey, you okay?" Kai asks, as Kalani, and Deena walk ahead of us towards the car. I still can't believe that guy wanted me, it just seems implausible.
"Yeah fine" I lie not looking at him, he stops now
"You're not fine, whats wrong ?" he asks, I watch Deena skip towards the car.
"Nothings wrong" I continue
"That's why you're leaning away from me, and not letting me touch you?" he says sadly, making my heart hurt.
"I just feel guilty" I admit, he looks confused
"Why?" he asks
"That guy who gave me his number, I just feel bad for Deena, I don't want to rub it in her face that I have you to" I say, he looks at me sympathetically
"You don't have to be sorry, it's not your fault the guy liked you, and I'm sure she won't care if I touch my girlfriend it's not like we were ever anything " he says, grabbing my hand, his thumb rubbing small circles on my wrist.
"I know, I guess I just don't want her to be angry or think I'm horrible," I say, instantly feeling pathetic
"Hey, listen to me she doesn't think that okay, your not horrible, and she knows it's not your fault," he says pushing the hair that fell into my eyes
"And if she ever does, she's crazy, you're an amazing person" he continues, making me blush
"Guys come on" Kalani yells, breaking us from our trance
"Thank you," I say grabbing his hand, pulling him towards the car. Kai drops Deena off first, she lives by herself in a tiny place close to the water, it's adorable.
"Alright see you guys later thanks for the ride," she says hopping out, she waves as we pull out of the driveway.
"You sleeping over tonight?" Kalani asks
"No, my mom said she needs to talk before she leaves tomorow" I say, Kalani snorts
"What do you think she wants?" she asks, I shrug
"Probably to convinve me I need to go back with her, and tell me how much of a mess I've made with my life" I say
"Well if you need a get away car call me" Kai says pulling up to my house, I groan.
"I will, bye guys, love you" I say kissing Kai before hopping out of the car. I walk inside to an eerily quiet house.
"I'm home" I yell walking to the kitchen, to find my aunt at the counter a note in her hand.
"Hey what's up?" I ask worried, she looks up tears in her eyes.
"I'm sorry" she says handing me the note.
Violet,
I know you didn't want to come back with me, so to make it easier I left. I hope you have a wonderful time with your aunt. Bill, and I are moving to New York, I hope that you make something of yourself, and please feel free to visit.
Love Mom
The note leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, it's just like my mother to leave the easy way.
"Hey, why are you sorry?" I ask, hugging my aunt, who's extremely upset.
"You deserve better" she says, pushing my hair from my eyes
" I have the best" I say, she nods tears in her eyes, as she pulls me into another hug.
"How, how are you such an amazing person with parents like yours?" She asks giggling slightly
"I'm just awesome" I shrug making her laugh.
"You are, now do you want some dinner?" She asks opening the fridge, my stomach churns
"Actually I already ate, but thanks. I think I'm just going to lay down watch some Netflix" I say, she nods
"Alright sweetie, if you need anything I'll be on the porch" she say hugging me one last time, I nod and head to my room. As soon as I shut my door, my body keels over, as sobs rack my body.