Finding Me

It's Time

it's been a week since that night at the party, and I haven't talked to Kai, he calls, texts but I haven't returned his messages or texted him back . I sit at the beach, curling my toes in the sand while letting the water wash it away. I breathe in, the salty air calming my frayed nerves.
"Vi" Someone calls, scaring me slightly, I turn and see Kalani running towards me, behind her Kai stops, I freeze, my body aching slightly.
"Hey, what are you doing?" she asks sitting next to me, my eyes are still glued to Kai's, my eyes tracing his frozen figure a couple yards away.
"Oh shit you guys haven't talked," she says noticing my shock. I turn away from him finally, my heart aches slightly at the image of him.
"No, we haven't," I say, keeping my eyes on the water. The waves break, and peak, and I try really hard to focus on that, and not the way Kai's eyes hold so much emotion.
"Do you want to?" she asks, and to be honest I don't know. I look back at him, his eyes are staring down at the sand timidly, my body seems to lean towards him.
"I don't know if I want to but I think it's time," I say standing up while wiping the sand from my shorts, and walking toward him. He looks surprised as I walk forward, he meets me halfway, his hand instinctively goes to his hair. 
"Hey," he says his voice quiet, but it sends a wave of electricity through me.
"Hey" I respond feeling awkward, he lets out a breath of air, his nostrils flare.
"I'm sorry Vi, I'm really sorry. What I said... it was so beyond wrong. I was angry and sad that you might leave me." he explains, his eyes pleading
"You should have trusted me," I tell him, he nods, his body leans in ever so slightly, and I try hard not to lean back into him, to lose myself in his embrace.
"I know, I was just being paranoid, and defensive, and I was so wrong, so beyond wrong. I'm sorry" he responds, I groan at this situation. All I want is to say everything's okay, and for him to hold me, but I know I can't, not after what he said, not without letting him understand how much he hurt me. I struggle with my next words, they taste bitter in my mouth but I let them out.
"You really hurt me" I state, my body tensing at the openness. I stare at the ground embarrassed by how vulnerable I'm being.
"God I know, I shouldn't have said that Vi, it couldn't be further from the truth." he stammers. I watch as his eyes turn to glass, my stomach twists with sadness.
"I know you're sorry, and I forgive you. I just don't know how to go back" I exclaim, he sinks further into the sand.
"Do you still love me?" he asks, I scoff
"Obviously Kai" I respond, he nods
"Do you still want to be together?" he asks stepping closer to me, I stare up at him, my eyes tracing his face.
"Do you?" I ask
"Of course I do, I love you," He says taking my hands in his, my body tingles at the contact.
"I need you to trust me," I say, my fingers moving along the skin on his hand.
"I do" he responds, I look him in the eyes now. He looks sincere, his eyes filled with emotion, the guilt is pouring out of him.
" I just think maybe we should try being friends for now, or at least take it slow," I say, my eyes tracing his figure
"If that's what you want," he says slowly,  I groan
"It is" I state, my body going numb. He chuckles and it vibrates through me, surprising me.
"I'm in this for the long haul," he says, his voice low, I stare confused
"I'm going to win you back" he adds, walking toward the water
"Kai" I say, he chuckles lightly 
"Friends," I say again hoping he doesn't fight me on this, but he just smiles and nods 

"Friends, for now" he says, making me smile, and splash him with water.
"You guys made up" Kalani yells, running in after us. We swim as far out as possible before we got too exhausted.
"The water is magical," Kalani says a whimsical smile on her face, as we float near the shore. 

"Since when do you think the water's so magical?" Kai asks smiling, she splashes him
"I've always loved the water duh that's why I'm a better surfer" she states matter of factly, making me laugh loudly.
"I'm one with the water" she adds.
"You are not," He says, she nods her head, before ducking under the water, her hair still floating on the surface.
"She's not," he tells me, I shrug submerging into the water after her. The water surrounds me, letting my racing thoughts rest.
"Vi, your phone," Kai says from the shore, I nod, swimming back to shore.
"Hello" I answer out of breath.
"Hey, it's me, Dylan. Sorry I know this is weird ugh your aunt invited me to the bonfire at your house tonight I was just making sure that was okay with you" he says, his voice sounds nervous.
"Hey, yeah, of course, we are friends you know," I say, he chuckles
"I know, I just didn't want to cause any trouble, if Kai was coming," he tells me, I look quickly at Kai, who smiles
"You won't be, I'll see you tonight" I respond
"Okay great see you tonight," he says before we end the call.
"K told you about the bonfire tonight at my house?" I ask, he nods
"Yeah I just didn't know if you wanted me to come" he admits
"Well I didn't but we're friends now, so you should come, but you should also know Dylan's going to be there, we're friends," I say gauging his reaction, he tenses slightly.
"I'll be there," he says, I smile, as Kalani runs up to me cheering excitedly.
"Haku is coming tonight, he's coming home early" she screams, I jump in excitement with her, Kai laughs at us.
"Wait, you need to help me get ready, I need to look sexy" she concludes
"Eww, I never want to hear my sister say those words" Kai spits obviously grossed out.
"Shut up, I saw you having sex you can cope with me saying sexy" she demands. Kalani drags me back to her house, demanding I help with her outfit. After a grueling process of try on, she sticks with this gorgeous purple dress, some strappy sandals. She accessorizes with an anchor necklace he bought for her and some plain gold bracelets.
"Your turn," she says turning to me with a wicked smile.
"I'm good I'm sticking with comfy," I tell her leaning against her headboard, she groans throwing her head back.
"Come on please" she whines, I stare at her shocked at her eagerness to dress me.
"Please, I promise it will be fun" she continues, making me laugh.
"Fine, but just because I know you won't take no for an answer," I tell her, she smiles victoriously.
She throws a black strappy dress at me, I stare down at the dress, it's not far from something I would wear.
"I like it," I say twisting in the mirror to see the back of it.
"It's cute, but with the right accessories It will look hot," she says handing me a necklace that looks like two, as well as a watch, and some earrings. I put it all on, and stare at my reflection.
"You like it right?" she asks, I look at myself, the earrings are simple, and the necklace is really pretty, the watch is gorgeous, all in all, I look good. 
"Yeah I like it a lot" I reply, she smiles happily. It's 7 when we start heading to my house. Kai's eyes roam over me, making me blush profusely, he smirks sexily at me.
"We're here to help," I say as we walk to my kitchen. My aunt is frantically rushing all over the kitchen.
"Hey I really need to get dressed would you guys mind finishing off the sauce, and putting it in the serving bowl over here," she asks blowing a strand of hair from her face.
"Yeah go, we got it," I tell her grabbing the spoon from her hand, she nods, and smiles before heading to the room. We finish up the sauce and fix up the cluttered counter before heading outside to see if my uncle needs any help. when I step outside I see my uncle singing softly to the radio, while flipping burgers the opposite of my aunt twenty minutes ago.
"Need any help?" I ask smiling, he turns and shakes his head. People start to arrive quickly after my aunt finishes getting ready, they hug, smile, and grab a drink. Everyone's mainly outside, that when I see Dylan walking up the steps a huge plant in hand.
"Nice plant," I say, he looks at me amused
"Thanks" he responds, finally on the porch
"Those stairs are horrible, I choose when I want to exercise, but those stairs just chose for me," he says catching his breath, I laugh.
"Wow I didn't know you could be such a baby" I state, he glares slightly before grinning
"Shut it, I'm not a baby I'm simply stating a fact," he says matter of factly.
"Dylan you made it," my aunt says before I could respond, she smiles kindly at him
"Yeah thanks for inviting me, If I waited for this one to invite me I wouldn't be here," he says tilting his head in my direction
"Hey,  I would have called you... sooner or later" I reply, he chuckles, handing my aunt the plant
"How did you know I loved Hawaiian orchids?" my aunt asks, shock filling her voice.
"I saw some on your front porch, and I took a chance" he states, she grins
"Well thank you, I love them," she says, giving him a quick side hug. She walks inside after, probably to put the orchid away.
"You're like super sweet," I say, he looks at me weirdly
"Thank I guess" he responds amused
"I mean you're good with parents, grown-ups," I say, he chuckles
"I do pride myself on my manners" he quips, I grin now.
"Okay Haku is on his way, and I can't wait..." Kalani interrupts, her arms going around me.
"Dylan hey," she says
"Haku and you a thing, finally" He states, making me giggle.
"Yes," She says smiling to herself.
"Good I always thought you guys would make a great couple," he says.
"Do you wanna hear the story?" She asks. Kalani loves telling people about how it finally happened as well as brag about how romantic he is, it's cute.
"Sure," he says, as we all take a seat on the steps. She delves in leaving out no detail, she smiles throughout the story, which makes me smile, I'm glad she's happy.
"What are you guys talking about"' Kai interrupts, we stare up at him, I suddenly feel awkward.
"Just how Kalani and Haku finally got together" Dylan answers, Kai sits down.
"Jesus not again Kalani" he says, she smacks him.
"Shut it he wants to hear" she states simply, making me laugh.
"Hey, man listen I'm sorry about the other night I overreacted," Kai tells Dylan.
"I completely understand it's all good" Dylan responds as they kind of slap each other's hand in a bro way.
"Now that you got all the testosterone out of the way can I continue" Kalani demands, Kai puts his hands up in surrender, and she continues.
"Her phone chimes in just as she finishes the story about the boardwalk, and she checks it smiling.
"He's here, he says he wants to meet on the beach, I'll see you guys later," she says, standing up. She skips down the steps excitedly.
"Have fun" I yell, she puts up her hand in a wave.
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do" I joke
"That leaves me with a lot" she yells back, my mouth drops in shock, as I start laughing.
"Hey, shut it" I respond, and I can hear her laugh as she skips away.
"So what about you two how did you meet?" Dylan asks as he hugs his knee to his chest.
"A bonfire," I say, Kai, smiles fondly at me.
"Yeah she told off Kaui, and I have hooked" Kai explains, Dylan chuckles.
"Kaui is a piece of work, by that I mean an asshat," Dylan says, making us all laugh. They continue taking effortlessly, and it makes me happy maybe this will all work out. Or maybe it's just the calm before the storm.