Finding Me

End Of Summer

It's been three weeks, and everything's  gone back to normal, well mostly. We've all been hanging out again which is nice. I sometimes see Kai about to touch me, but he pulls away. We're both still finding the friends fit, we're not use to it. Dylan and I have been great, everything's back to normal. I sometimes catch myself wanting him in such an unfamiliar way. But I don't let myself feel it for too long. We're always together, and that kiss still plays on repeat in my head. Sometimes It makes me want to kiss him again, to see if it's how I remember it. Obviously I don't, and I try not to think about it, but my brain won't let me. As soon as I do think about it, I'm filled with guilt. Kai and I just broke up, I shouldn't be thinking about another guy not right away at least. The fact that Dylan's my best friend also plays on my mind. I don't want to ruin anything, but my feelings are growing and I can't stop them. The worst part being I don't know what to do about it. I don't think Dylan sees me that way.
"Hey" Dylan nudges me. It breaks me from my self deprecating thoughts.
"Sorry distracted" I say playing with some sand.
"Everything okay?" He asks his eyes filled with concern. Why does he have to look at me like that.
"Ya, just stupid stuff" I explain, he nods.
"Nothing with Kai?" He asks, and now I feel guilty. I look over at Kai, he's waxing down his board a couple yards away.
" No, we're okay for now" I say, looking back at Dylan.
"That's good" he smiles, and my skin burns. I spot Kalani coming our way with Jackson.
"Hey" I call needing him to look away from me. Dylan turns to look at them.
"Hey guys" she smilies.
"So tonight we're going to the end of summer bonfire" Kalani states
"Kai" she waves him over.
"Tonight end of summer bonfire, you're going" she says, he nods. Dylan looks at me eyebrow quirked in question.
"If you want to" I answer, he nods.
"We're down" he says. I blush at the implication, and then I internally slap myself. I stand then, Dylan looks at me confused.
"Just gonna go for a swim" I say, needing some air. I rush into the water, my skin cooling down instantly. I lay on my back, letting the waves rock me back and forth. Why was I getting so flustered around Dylan lately, it's embarrassing. Suddenly I'm being dunked  under, I try to find my footing and push myself back up to the surface. Kai's there, laughing his ass off
"Dick" I sputter, he laughs harder.
"Sorry I couldn't resist" he says, I splash water at him.
"You're annoying" I can't help but laugh he shrugs. I rush forward pushing his shoulders down, he sinks
But doesn't go all the way under.
"Weak" he states, I shove him.
"You're brothers annoying" I tell Kalani as I walk out of the water
"You're the one who use to date him" she says, as Kai comes out laughing.
"Emphasis on the use to" I smirk, he holds his heart in mock hurt.
"Just kidding" I smile, he chuckles.
"I want to build a sandcastle" I say plopping down beside Dylan. He looks a bit tense. His eyes boar into the water ahead of him.
"You okay?" I whisper to him, he nods turning to me and smiling.
"Let me build you a giant castle" he says sitting up, I nod.
...
Everyone's sitting by the fire, the wind is a little harsh tonight, making it a bit chilly. I move closer, my legs breaking out into goosebumps. Dylan places his arm around me pulling me into his side. I smile up at him.
"It's cold" I say, he nods rubbing my arm.
"Surfer girl" I hear someone call I look over, and Zander makes his way towards us.
"Hey" I say, he smirks down at me.
"When are you gonna let me take you out?" He asks, making me roll my eyes.
"Name one reason I should" I smile condescendingly, he laughs
"I'm cool" he says, I chuckle.
"Hm, not compelling enough" I say, Kai and Dylan laugh.
"I wouldn't cheat on you like this loser" he points to Kai, my cheeks flush.
"Hey man chill" Dylan says, he shrugs.
"Zander, you seem nice enough, I'm sure a lot of other girls would love to go out with you" I exclaim
"I'll get you to say yes" he winks turning away.
"Jesus" I groan, Dylan squeezes me slightly in reassurance.  I spot Kalani and Jackson making out close to the water. She seems so in love with him.
"Kai" someone calls out, we all turn. I spot Riley. She rushes forward, a huge smile on her face.
"Hey I've been texting you" she smiles
"Oh, ya I've been busy" Kai looks over at me
"Okay, well we should hang out, maybe go surfing" she smiles, Kai scratches the back of his neck. His tell for whenever he's nervous, or doesn't know what to say.
"Hey I love your shoes" I remark to give him some time, she turns to me.
"Thank you, I just got them" she smiles kindly.
"Gorgeous, I could never pull of a boot" I say, she blushes.
"Thanks, I'm sure you could, I love your shorts" she remarks I look down at my worn out denim. I move closer to Dylan, feeling the cool breeze again. his arms encircle me.
"Thanks! I've worn them out though" I chuckle, she nods.
"Worn is the best look" she explains, I nod.
"Sorry I interrupted" I smile, she shrugs turning back to Kai.
"Ya I'll text you when I'm free" he smiles, she nods.
"Perfect, well see you guys around" she waves at me, I wave back. Kai looks at me confused.
"I was helping, plus I loved her boots" I say, he nods picking some sand up.
"You're such a flirt" Dylan laughs pulling me closer, I shove him.
"I know" I respond making them both laugh.
"I want a drink" I stand quickly, almost falling back. Dylan's hands clasp onto my calves, holding me steady. His fingers spread heat through my leg. 
"Thanks" I smile, he nods.
"Get me a beer please" he calls after me I give him a thumbs down making him laugh. I grab two beers, just as Riley shows up.
"Hey, can we talk?" She asks, I nod kind of confused. Didn't we just talk.
"You're super nice, and I just want to make sure it's okay if I make a move on Kai" she mutters a blush staining her cheeks.
"Go for it" the words bubble up quickly, it surprises me.
"I mean it's fairly new, but I'm okay with it. You seem nice" I smile, she looks relieve.
"You are the best, thank you" she moves to hug me tightly.
"Ya, I'm trying to be more forgiving and honestly we're not together, so ya it's fine" I admit, she nods vigorously.
"Okay well thanks" she smiles I nod. I turn back with the two beers in my hands. I hand one to Dylan, sitting back down.
"Hey, What did she want?" Kai asks, moving closer.
"She asked if it was okay if she made a move on you" I explain taking a sip, his eyes widen.
"Oh, sorry" he stutters.
"No it's okay, I told her it's fine. You should go for it if you want, she seems nice" I say, his cheeks turn pink.
"Seriously?" He asks
"Ya I mean, we're not together, we're friends. If she's gonna make you happy, I'm down for it" I smile, he nods.
"It'll be a bit weird, but if we're gonna be fiends it'll happen eventually" I explain, he nods.
"You're so mature" he says, I shrug. He stands suddenly, and I watch as he walks towards Riley. I'm a bit stunned at how determined he looks, my cheeks flush.
"You sure you're okay with this?" Dylan asks, I nod sipping my beer.
"It's weird, plus look how quick he got up! Honestly though I hope he's happy" I turn to Dylan, his eyes travel over my face.
"You're a good person Vi" he says, I shrug.
"Maybe it's time for me to move on too" I gulp, he nods his eyes glued to mine.
"Maybe it is" he responds.