Finding Me

Sunshine

I stare at my phone, my mom's number staring up at me. I know I need to call her to talk to her about coming to California to get my stuff. I bite the bullet and dial her number.
"Cheryl Vance" she answers, the name makes me freeze. She changed her last name.
"It's Violet" I stutter my cheeks heating. Why does she always have this effect on me!
"Violet, What a surprise" she responds, I pick at the paper on my desk.
"Ya" I quip, feeling stupid
"How are things?" She asks her tone the opposite of curious.
"Great, actually that's why I called" I start
"So I've decided to move down here permanently and I need to ship my things. So I need to come to California" I blurt
"Oh" is all she says
"Yes and I know you're with Dave in New York, I just wanted to let you know that I'll be at the house in California" I explain
"Dave and I are actually in California" she responds
"Oh, I thought you were moving to New York" I stammer
"We decided against it, you know I have all my activities here and it would be too difficult to move" she explains. By activities she means her quote book club friends who get drunk and shop all day.
"Okay, well I'll just come down to ship all my stuff out here" I say
"That should be fine Violet, when would you be coming?" She asks
"Sometime next week I just have some things to do here" I say
"Alright, well just send me a text when you'll be arriving" she says, I nod even though she can't see me.
"Is that all?" She asks, I bite down on my nail, sucking in a deep breath.
"Yeah that's it, I'll let you know soon" I rush out
"Alright goodbye Violet" she hangs up. I haven't talked to my mom in months, and as usual it leaves me empty and uneasy! I lean back into my chair, sighing before opening up my laptop. Dylan got me an interview at the Sunshine Charity today, so I have to print off my resume. I've decide on a simple pair of jeans with a loose Blouse I borrowed from my aunt tucked in. I grab my fancy purse and resume just as Dylan texts me he's outside. I squirt on some Perfume and head out. I can see him bobbing his head to some music it makes me smile.
"Hey" I hop into his car, he turns down the radio
"You look nice" he says
"Professional enough" I ask, he nods pulling out of the parking lot.
"You nervous?" He asks
"Obviously" I reply making him chuckle.
"Don't be, you'll do great" he assures, I wish I was as sure. It's close so we get there pretty quickly. My heart hammers loudly in my chest. Dylan waits in the car, as I sit nervously in the waiting room. The place is bright, the walls are all painted yellow. Probably to go with the sunshine theme. There's a picture of Dylan and his dad. Dylan couldn't be older than 12 in the picture. He's smiling brightly up at his dad, he looks the same it warms my heart.
"Violet Demers" a blonde woman with a wide smile
Calls. I stand flattening down my shirt.
"Hi my names Amanda" she extends her hand, I shake it.
"It's great to meet you" I smile just as brightly back. She leads me back to what I assume is her office.
"Have a seat" she points to a burgundy sofa at the end of her desk. I sit placing my bag beside me.
"Here's my resume" I hand her the now slightly wrinkled paper, she nods looking it over.
"So, violet tell me why you want to work here" she asks, her tone light.
"Well that's simple" I smile
" I love what you guys stand for, helping underprivileged children in my opinion isn't as broadcasted as it should be." I finish
"I plan on going to school for child psychology to help children in similar situations, so I really feel like
I could help make a difference" I smile, she nods.
"Well honestly violet you are the first person today that I've interviewed that I can honestly see wants to make a difference with these kids" she says, my heart soars.
"That's really kind"
"It's true, most people see this as just a receptionist job, but I can see that you see the ferocity even this job has" she explains. The rest of the interview goes great, Amanda and I are laughing loudly the whole time.
"Well I think I can safely say you have the job, I just have to talk to some of the other staff but we'll call you" she stands extending her hand.
"Thank you so much!" I say shaking her hand, she nods.
"I can show myself out, thank you" I say
"Talk to you soon" she says waving. I rush outside my excitement overflowing. Dylan's leaning against the car, he turns.
"They loved me" I smile, he stands rushing over to hug me.
"Knew it" he says squeezing me tightly. We get into the car, he's still smiling at me.
"What?" I laugh
"Nothing, you're just dumb" he says and I laugh
"Thanks"
"It's a compliment" he explains making me laugh harder.
"So I talked to my mom, she just needs the dates that we're coming" I say
"So when?" He asks
"I'm thinking next week" I suggest
"Ya I mean I don't do anything anyway" he says making me chuckle.
"Okay, and we have to Start looking for a place soon" I tell him.
"Okay I have a few places we can look at after we come back from California" he says, I turn to him. He's looking straight ahead, he licks his lips lightly and it sends a wave of electricity through me. Sometimes I forgot how awesome of a person he is. He's always so giving!
"You're my best friend" I blurt, he turns his tongue sticking out slightly.
"What?" He grins
"I just want you to know that" I explain, he still looks confused.
"I know, it's mutual" he says turning back to the road ahead.
"I've just been thinking a lot about when I first got here" I say, he looks over at me a curious look on his face.
"Well mostly about how quickly I fell for Kai, I should say why I fell so quickly for him" I push a piece of hair from my face.
"And?" He prods
"I think I was lonely and he was the first guy who really saw me! I'm not diminishing what we had, but I do think we rushed it and I put a lot of pressure on it working! I think it was more infatuation, you know" I say, he stares straight ahead for a while.
"It's just, I've been thinking about how everything played out. I lost my virginity to him, he's the first person who told me they loved me. I was obsessed with being loved by him, that I accepted some things that I don't think I should have" I explain. The words tumble out before I can stop them.
"I'm sorry" he responds
"For what?" I ask my cheeks heating
"That you accepted it. You should have felt loved enough not to" he says. My breathing stills and my stomach twists tightly. A warm feeling spreads through me, and I can feel how fast my hearts beating all over my body. He reaches over squeezing my knee lightly, heat spreads over where his hand touched.
"It's because of you, you know" I blurt
"What, how?" He asks
"I was always myself with you, from the first panic attack. I never hid anything from you, and you still like me. That really helped me realize what I deserve.  Plus seeing how well you handle yourself even though you went through some really tough Shit, it's inspiring. That's cringy but it had to be said" I blurt out making him laugh.
"So thank you for everything" I smile, his cheeks turn pink making my smile widen.