Finding Me

Self Care

I crack open one of my eyes, the sting of the sun makes me shut it immediately. I sit up, slowly opening my eyes. I blink myself back into reality, my surroundings finally coming into focus. I notice I'm
In Dylan's room, he's laying beside me snoring softly. I shifts so my feet hang off the side of the bed, taking a deep breath to settle my sloshing brain. I grip the bed standing slowly, testing my wobbly legs. I stand in place, hoping my brain stops spinning. I walk myself slowly towards the bathroom. I notice the red cups littering the floor, but no ones passed out in the hallway like I expected considering the sheer amount of people here yesterday. I finally get to the bathroom. I stand at the sink staring at my ashen appearance. My skin looks translucent I can see my dark circles under my eyes, my mascara smudged. My hair is half matted to my head the other side is sticking up everywhere. I try to run my fingers through the mess, but I give up. When I finish in the bathroom, I head to the kitchen, in desperate need of water. The stairs are tricky to maneuver, but I hold onto the railing for dear life. I finally get to the kitchen and chug three glasses of water, my body instantly thanking me.
"Hey" I hear at the door. Dylan stands there shirtless. He looks like crap too, not as bad as me though.
"What the fuck happened last night" I ask handing him a glass of water. I move to sit on the stool. He moves to grab some crackers from the cupboard placing the box between us. He looks at me then, his cheeks pinking up a bit. His smile is soft, and it makes me want to smile.
"You don't remember anything?" He asks, I try to rack my brain but honestly the whole nights a blur, and it makes my head pound when I try to think about it.
"No"
"Well we got super wasted and we kicked everyone out so you could dance your ass off around the house" he says a small smile on his face, I groan
"Jesus" I mumble, he chuckles lightly.
"And" he starts but my phone interrupts, I move to grab it, Kai's face flashes back at me. It suddenly hits me, everything with Sammie and Kai. My stomach twists tightly.
"Ya he came by last night, but I kicked him out. You didn't want to talk to him" Dylan says, I shove my phone back into my pocket, my skin burning.
"Thanks" I say, he nods, leaning back against the counter.
"Anything else I should know?" I ask, his eyes boar into mine, he looks like he's gonna say something, my heart races suddenly. A weird feeling rushes over me, and an urge to move closer to him hits me.
"I need water" Kalani interrupts suddenly, we both turn to her. She looks like death warmed up. Dylan hands her a glass of water, as she sits down beside me. She downs the glass and he refills it. She sips this one slowly grabbing a cracker.
"What the hell happened last night?" She asks, her voice hoarse.
"You got shit faced and passed out" Dylan explains, she sighs biting the cracker.
"Honestly I think I was nervous to have sex with Jackson" she admits, and suddenly I'm angry. She knew about Sammie and Kai and she only told me because she was drunk.
"Maybe you felt guilty" I blurt, my skin prickling, she looks at me confused
"For?" She asks
"I don't know maybe not telling me about Sammie" I explain, my voice sharp. A look of realization passed over her.
"Shit Vi, I'm so sorry" she starts
"Really, I don't know what to say" she adds
"Maybe explain what happened?" I say, she takes a small sip of her water
"Well I just saw Sammie flirting with Kai, that's it seriously. I didn't want to tell you because you guys just got back together" she rushes out. Did she not know about the kiss.
"That's it?" I urge, she nods
"Well Sammie told me they kissed, so" I mutter, the words leaving a bad taste in my mouth.
"What?!"
"I didn't know that I swear" she urges, a pressure builds on my chest, and I bite my tongue hoping I don't cry.
"Ya that makes two of us" I whisper, she moves to pull me into a hug, but I pull away.
"I'm sorry" she repeats I nod.
"Morning guys" Jackson comes in, he moves kissing Kalani on the cheek she smiles.
"I'm gonna head home" I say, Kalani gives me a sympathetic look.
"Do you need a ride?" Dylan asks, I shake my head.
"I'll text you guys later" I say, Dylan nods. I decide to walk home since it's not that far, I need the fresh air anyway.
...
Kai's called at least a dozen times since I've been home, but I haven't even looked at my phone. No part of me wants him to explain this, I just want to lay in bed all day watching mind numbing TV. Which is what I do, stopping only to occasionally get snacks and drinks. It's 8 when my phone rings out and I decide to check it just to text Dylan. This message is from Kalani.
"I'm so sorry please I thought I was protecting you I didn't know he kissed her" she writes, my stomach sinks.  I'm not mad at her anymore, I guess I really shouldn't have been considering she didn't know about the kiss. I can't help but be annoyed, and I know it's just a projection onto her.
"It's okay I get it, I just need a day" I text her back
"Okay, if you need anything text me. I'm coming over tomorrow BTW" she writes back immediately
"Text me first" I text her. I notice no text from Dylan.
"Hey, sorry that I left in such a hurry I just needed a day" I write to him, I don't look at the texts from Kai instead continue with The Office.
"I get it that's why I didn't text you, I was giving you a day" Dylan writes back , I smile. Dylan's the only person who understands what I need right now.
"You're an awesome friend" I write
"I know, I'll see you tomorrow, have fun with the office" he writes, I laugh at the message.