Finding Me

My Past

"Wake up sweetheart," my mom says, swinging open my door. I open my eyes to see her eyeing my room with disdain.
"Get out," I say turning over, she continues to walk further into my room.
"It's late honey get up," she says again, making me groan loudly at her.
"Seriously, mom get out," I say sitting up, she's grabbing a mug off my desk, looking inside.
"Honey since when have you become such a slob?" she asks, and I push the covers off me in a hurry to get out of this room. I head to the kitchen to grab some coffee, she follows.
"I just want you to be the best you" she conveys, making me roll my eyes.
"Goodmorning," My aunt says while handing me a cup, I smile.
"Morning," I say, grabbing the creamer from the fridge.
"Hey is it okay if I go surfing today?" I ask, my aunt nods
"No, no, no, you surf now, what are you a surfer dude," My mom asks
"Yes I surf, and it's not just for men," I tell her, heading back to my room to get dressed. I grab a clean bathing suit, and some shorts, and get dressed as quickly as possible, brushing my teeth while hopping into my shorts.
"Alright I'm leaving," I say, grabbing my bag from the chair
"Have fun" My aunt calls, but my mom is standing in front of the door.
"Honey please stay and talk," she says, placing her hand on my shoulder, I cringe at the touch.
"There is nothing to talk about, I'm not going to New York, and I really have to go," I say, pushing past her. I walk to the spot where Kai, and I first kissed, my legs just taking me there. I walk down the dock, sitting down at the end of it, letting my legs dip into the soothing water. The sun beats down on my back, sending heat waves through my body. I get up quickly getting undressed and diving into the water. The water instantly relaxes me, I inhale the salty air while floating on the surface of the water. I start singing my favorite song, pretty loudly, but no one is around so I don't really care.
"Oh, darling, I can't breathe Oh, I can't hardly breathe" I sing loudly, probably out of tune, suddenly I hear clapping, my heart leaps out of my chest. I look up at the dock and see Kai staring down at me.
"Hey," he says, his voice soft, I swim to the dock, pulling myself up. I stare up at him wondering how he knew I was here.
"Hey" I respond wanting nothing more than to kiss him, but I hold back, kind of mad he didn't text me which is totally ridiculous.
"So listen about last night," he says, as I sit down letting the sun heat my skin.
"I should probably explain," I say, as he sits next to me.
"No, you shouldn't have to I'm sorry I was weird," He says, making my heart melt.
"No, I'm sorry I was weird. My mom is just so exhausting I didn't want to subject you to that" I say, turning my body to face his, he grabs my hands.
"I shouldn't have been so petty about everything, I know you have issues with your mom, and I was being stupid," he tells me, his eyes pleading with mine
"It's okay really you didn't know," I said caressing his cheek. He leans his forehead against mine, and I inhale his calming scent.
"You know I'm here for you Vi" he whispers, his breath cascading against my cheek.
"I know, and I want to tell you everything," I say leaning my body on his, he kisses the top of my head.
"Well, it kind of all started my first year of high school. I was always kind of closed off, I only ever had one friend, but that was okay cause that's all I needed. Then this girl Amanda started acting super nice to me, inviting me shopping, and to parties. So obviously I went, it was nice being noticed. There was this guy Henry, he acted like he liked me, and obviously, I started falling for his bullshit, and him. At one of her giant parties Henry, and her were making out, I confronted them, and she told me, and everyone at the party that it was all a joke to see how pathetic, and easy I was." I pause reading his features, he has a hard look on his face.
"I found out my dad was cheating on my mom with her mom, she blamed my family for breaking up her's, so she wanted to destroy my life. The party was just the beginning, she made up rumors that I had chlamydia, and that I was a freak satanist. Just a bunch of random shit. My one friend stopped associating with me, she told me that I was pathetic, and that she didn't want to be seen with me. I started to get really depressed, and I gained some weight. She got everyone to call me fat D, it all just really destroyed me. The worst part was no one noticed, my mom left, and never called, my dad continued seeing her mom, basically, he's an asshole. The only person who noticed was my aunt, and she noticed from thousands of miles away. She couldn't come to visit, but we talked everyday, she helped get my grades up, and she helped me lose some weight so I felt more confident. I thought about leaving school, doing online, but I was too proud I didn't want them to see how much they affected me. Fast forward to here, my aunt said I could come stay, clear my mind. Now my mother's back wanting me to go to New York to meet her new husband." I finish, my eyes glued to the water. Heat creeps up on me, as anxiety seizes my body for his reaction.
"Vi, I don't even know what to say" he concludes, my stomach lurches, he probably thinks I'm pathetic.
"I know it's a lot, too much," I say, staring at my hands
"You're probably the strongest person I have ever met," he says, shock rocks my body, and I finally look at him. His face seems hard, but his eyes are filled with so much emotion it breaks my heart.
"What?" I ask, he grabs my face, kissing me. The kiss takes my breath away, leaving me dizzy.
"What you went through... So many people take their lives, but you... your amazing Violet, you know that right. I'm so extremely happy that I know you, that I get to know you. Your mom, she's I'm sorry to say stupid, extremely stupid because not to know you is a travesty." He exclaims I stare at him my mouth wide open. My heart feels so full of emotions that it's going to explode, how is this my life. Suddenly we both start laughing loudly, our bodies so close I can feel the vibrations from his laugh.
"I'm glad I met you, Kai," I say as we come down from our laughing high, he smiles, and my heart stops. I grab his shoulders pulling him into a heated kiss, our mouths moving in sync, my brain feels foggy, and yet so sharply focused on him.
"I love you Violet Demers," he says after we break apart
"I love you Kai Kalhoon" I reply