Finding Me

Unexpected

The drives longer than I expected, and it's silent. No ones talking, the only noise is coming from the soft jazz playing on the radio. The tension in the car is palpable and honestly starting to annoy me. I hate feeling awkward, and I know that it's a state of mind. I shift in the seat, Dylan looks over at me.
"So, you guys know you can talk right" I blurt, my voice booming through the car. Kalani looks back at me, a small smile on her face.
"I'm serious it doesn't need to be awkward" I add, needing to fill the silence
"I think we all just need a drink" Dylan responds, making me smile.
"I definitely do" Kalani says, Kai shoves her gently. I miss our usual easiness now everything's so complicated. Finally we get to the party, the house is huge, it looks like an apartment building honestly. I step out still in awe of the vastness of this house.
"Jesus" Kalani says
"Ya now you can see why he's a dick" Dylan snarks making Kai laugh. We rush inside in desperate need of some drinks. Dylan hands me a cup filled with beer I take it. Everyone's dancing wildly around us, the music booming from giant speakers all over the house.
"Can we head outside it's way too loud" I ask Dylan, he nods moving to tell Kalani and Kai. We all head outside. Kalani's looking around in search for Jackson. I let my eyes graze over the crowd, everyone's jumping up and down laughing loudly. We get outside and we spot Jackson by the pool. He's laughing with a couple guys. I think it's the first time I've seen him laugh that hard.
"Babe" Kalani screeches rushing to him. He pulls
Her into a tight hug, she blushes.
"Hey guys" he smiles carefree.
"Sup man" he smiles at Kai, who nods curtly. I look over at his friends and honestly one guy in particular looks familiar. I can't quite remember how I know him. I look away so it doesn't get weird and obsessive.
"Surfer girl" the guy says, I look back confused.
"Sorry?" I ask, he smirks his eyes roaming freely over me.
"Your the surfer from the beach, the one who wouldn't give me her number" he explains, and the memory floods in.
"Oh right" I smile awkwardly, his grin widens.
"He hasn't stopped talking  about you" another guy butts in, he nudged him away.
"That's kind of creepy" I admit he laughs loudly, making me blush.
"Well I don't usually get turned down" he says, and I roll my eyes.
"Ya that's why I said no" I mutter taking a sip of my beer, he chuckles
"Touché, can I prove to you why I should have it?" He asks, I sigh loudly
"You don't even know my name, you just like the way my boobs look in a bikini" I press annoyed. The guys laugh loudly.
"What's your name?" He asks still smiling. God he's persistent.
"Violet" someone screams suddenly I turn and a girl comes tumbling towards me. I catch her, and notice it's Sammie, my stomach clenches tightly.
"Hey" she slurs
"Hi" I mumble, I'm not mad at this girl at all, it's just odd considering.
"I'm so sorry about everything, really I am. So um Luna told me he was single and he liked me, so I kissed him, I didn't know Kai was your boyfriend" she screeches, embarrassment blooms inside of me. Everyone's listening to this conversation.
"It's okay really I don't blame you" I say, she looks relived.
"You are so gorgeous, no one would purposefully cheat on you" she slurs, I nod.
"Hey you want a water?" I ask, she latches back onto me, and nods.
"I'll grab her one" Dylan interjects I nod.
"You're so pretty isn't she?" She turns to the guys her eyes land on Kai, and her smile drops.
"You're an idiot, even though I know it was mostly me" she points to him, I sigh.
"Sammie" This other girl comes looking worried. 
"Sorry, I'll take her" the girl says I nod handing her over. I watch as she pulls her inside.
"Wait that's how I know you, your Kai's girl" the guy says, my body flushes
"Ex girl" I correct, he smiles
"I'm Zander" he extends his hand, I shake it.
"You're an idiot" Zander looks at Kai, and another bout of embarrassment courses through me.
"I need another drink" I say, moving past Dylan who's holding a water looking confused. I shove past people making out. I grab another drink downing it quickly.
"I'm sorry" I hear behind me, I turn and Kais standing there.
"So I've heard" I mutter pouring another drink. I stars into the cup, the clear liquid sloshing side to
Side.
"I am, you have no idea" he says moving closer to me. The music pounds around us. The music's so loud it makes the ground vibrate under us.
"I know you are Kai" I groan, he nods.
"I miss you Vi" he steps closer, his cologne invaded my senses, making me shiver. His text pops into my mind. Then that stupid picture of him does too. 
"So, that picture of you really pissed me off" I blurt needing to get it off my chest. He looks at me confused.
"What picture?" He asks moving closer in order for us to actually hear each other.
"That picture Riley posted of you" I reply, he shakes his head still confused.
"I don't know what your talking about, I ran into her ya but... when was this?" He asks, I sigh of course he didn't know.
"Never mind it's fine" I say, he looks unconvinced.
"Vi show me if it bothers you" he says, god I miss him.
"I miss you too" I admit, the pressure releasing slightly. He moves to grab my hand, his hands are rougher than usual. I pull away quickly taking a step back. I can't be doing this, not again.
"I can't be with you, but I do want to maybe be friends" I state, my heart racing wildly in my chest.
"Friends" he says, I nod.
"I'd love to be friends with you" he says, my skin prickles. His hair falls into his eyes and I'm so close to pushing it away for him. I shift backward again handing him a drink.
"Friends" I say, he clinks our cups and we both take a sip looking directly at each other. We head back out, everyone's still at the same spot.
"You good?" Dylan asks looking over at Kai who's now beside Jackson.
"Fine, really I'm good" I promise smiling, he nods, but he doesn't look convinced.
"Cheers" he holds out his cup, I clink them together.
"Cheers bitch" I say, making him chuckle.
"Beer pong?" Kalani cheers
"I'm down" I say, she squeals, and turns to Jackson.
"I suck babe" he complains she sigh
"I'll do it" Kai says, she smiles.
"Dylan?" I ask, he nods.
"It's me and you next Violet" Zander looks me in the eyes, a blush blooms on my face.
"Not a chance" I smirk, he chuckles. We all head to the table a couple feet away. Kai gives me a small smile, and I return it. Maybe forgiveness is the best way to go considering I don't want to be angry anymore.
"Jesus you're a pro" Zander says halfway through the game, which Dylan and I are winning.
"Obviously" I say, he nods.
"You're going down" Kai grins at me, a flush erupts over my body.
"Sure, keep dreaming" I smile innocently he laughs.
"Dyl, you got this okay" I say, he nods. He gets it in and we both start cheering loudly. He pulls me into a tight hug lifting me off the ground. A cling to his strong arms.
"Suck it!!" I scream making them all laugh loudly.
"Hey I said I got winners" Zander says making me roll my eyes. I suddenly get pushed forward harshly. Zander's arms wrap around me tightly catching me before I fall. My breathing is rapid and my cheeks are flushed.
"Told you I got you" he smirks down at me, I shove him.
"You're annoying" I say, he chuckles loudly. I spot Kai looking at us, and guilt swarms through me. I take a step back from Zander. I shouldn't feel guilty but I do.
"Another drink?" Dylan asks, I nod vigorously. We walk together.
"So you and Kai are now friends?" He asks, his eyes void of his usual glow.
"Trying to be" I say, he nods. He reaches out for my cup I pass it to him. I notice a tension in his posture, he looks worried. A feeling of déjà Vu passes through me, and my head spins slightly. I shake it off focusing on Dylan.
"Hey you okay?" I whisper. The loud music around me makes me move  closer so I can hear his reply.
"Fine" he says his smile tight.
"Dylan?" I say, he shrugs.
"Fine really, here's your drink" he hands me the cup. He grabs my hand pulling me back outside. Everyone's sitting by the pool, Kai and Kalani are arguing while Jackson sits almost passed out a meter away. I can't push away the feeling that somethings wrong with Dylan. I watch as he walks over to Kalani, she stops her argument with Kai to look at Dylan then at me quickly. He chats with her a bit but I can tell somethings on his mind. Zander's beside me talking my ear off about how we should go out but I'm not listening. Dylan turns to me, his eyes roam over me, a sad look blooms over his features. I rush over to him, grabbing his hand. I pull him inside the house, and to the nearest room. I close the door locking us in the bathroom.
"What?" He asks confused.
"What's wrong?" I ask, he sighs closing his eyes for a
Second
"Nothing I promise" he exclaims. He's lying he has to be. I just want to know why.
"Dylan please, I know I've been distracted. I know somethings up and I care about you" I express, he stares back at me, his eyes wide.
"I need to tell you something" he says his voice sounding shaky. My stomach drops.
"Okay" I reply
"... well you remember that night you got super drunk, well um we kind of well we did.. shit um, we kissed Vi" he mumbles