Finding Me

Morning After

I wake up with a headache, a dull ache at the base of my neck. I groan and turn over, the blanket twists tightly around my middle. I open my eyes, the pain intensifying. I groan, closing my eyes.
"Here" I hear Dylan's voice, it makes me sit up. He's right next to me on a chair, holding out a glass of water. Memories of last night rush through me. A tingle erupts on my lips. I take the glass and take a small sip. His face is soft but unreadable. I place the glass on the bedside table, still staring at him like he's a hallucination.
"You stayed?" I ask, he leans back in the chair, his hair messy.
"Ya, I wanted to make sure you slept" He responds.
"You slept in the chair?" I ask, he nods.
"You could have slept in the bed" I blurt, he sighs lightly. I can tell he doesn't know what to do. Last night was a shit show, and he was called to fix it.
"I'm sorry about last night, you shouldn't have to... well you know. Now it's not your responsibility" I quip, my voice sounding bitter to my ears.
"I still care about you, I wanted to help" He answers, his tone hard.
"Do you still care?" I ask, my tone sharp, he huffs running a hand through his hair.
"You know I still care Violet" he affirms, I huff now standing.
"Oh of course, I got that from you breaking up with me" I laugh sarcastically.
"You kissed someone else are you seriously blaming me" He yells
"I didn't kiss someone else, he kissed me" I yell back annoyed.
"It doesn't matter who kissed who and you know it" he frowns, I step closer to him, and now he stands.
"It does when I didn't want it. He kissed me, it's not like I wanted him to" I tell him.
"You might as well have" He asserts, my jaw drops. I'm so angry it consumes me.
"What the fuck is that suppose to mean?" I huff
"Nothing" He mutters
"No tell me. You think I wanted it because I what, touched his hand, or wait maybe it was because I looked at him! That's it. A girl can't look at another guy unless she wants him" I declare mockingly
"That is not what I meant Violet" He responds, his face hardened.
"Then enlighten me, what did you mean?" I ask, placing my hand on my hip.
"Nothing" He stammers
"No, tell me" I demand
"It's always been Kai, and it always will be! I was a detour for you, for both of you. The sooner we realize that the better for me!" He finally blurts. He immediately winces, and turns away from me.
"Is that really what you think?" I ask, my anger is gone.
"Doesn't matter. I just, we can't work." He says flustered, still looking anywhere but at me.
"Dylan" I start, but he shakes his head, and rushes out of the room. I follow him, my legs moving fast to catch up.
"Don't just walk away" I call after him
"Dylan, stop please" I huff, he stops, and I bump into him.
"What?" He asks his back turned to me. My brain goes blank all of a sudden. It's like my voice is gone, I want to tell him to stay but no sound comes out. He notices my hesitation, and I can see his sadness.
"Bye" He says before rushing out towards his car. I should chase after him, and tell him how much I want him. He deserves that, but I don't move. I stand there staring at the shut door.
"Are you okay?" I hear Kalani ask, my stomach twists violently.
"Ya" I mutter, still staring at the door. I can hear her footsteps as she steps closer. I want to run to my room, and lock the door. To stay in there until I stop feeling so empty. I turn to her shaking the depressing thoughts away.
"I'm fine" I smile, but I know it looks forced.
"You can talk to me" She assures, I smile and nod
"I know, anyway how are you feeling?" I ask walking toward the kitchen to make myself some coffee.
"I'm better, just really needed to rest. How come you didn't tell me you and Dylan broke up?" She asks, I stiffen at the words.
"He wanted a break and I guess I just wanted to keep it to myself" I say, she nods sitting on the stool.
"What happened, I thought everything was going great?" She asks. I hesitate, not knowing if I should tell her Kai kissed me. I pour the creamer in my coffee to buy myself some time.
"Kai kissed me, and When I told Dylan, well you know" I finally say, her Jaw drops.
"Kai kissed you, and you didn't tell me!" She exclaims
"Also when?" She adds
"The day of the housewarming party" I answer, her eyes widen immensely.
"I'm sorry" She states simply
"it's not your fault," I say
"I know, I'm just sorry" She responds, my heart clenches tightly.
"Thanks" I smile, she nods. I hand her a glass of water
"So how are you feeling?" I ask leaning against the counter
"I'm okay, It still feels weird. Everything happened so quickly I don't really know how to feel." She explains sipping her water
"I'm sorry K" I say, she nods sipping her water.
"You hungry?" I ask
"Starving" She responds with a small smile.
...
Kalani left a couple hours ago, she said she should probably talk to Kai, and Jackson. She seems better adjusted today which makes me really happy. I'm sitting on the couch, flipping aimlessly through the channels. A loud knock sounds at the door, scaring me slightly. I rush up, a hope that it might be Dylan. I pull open the door, and my face falls. Kai stares back at me. That's when I notice all the bruising on his face. His eye is rimmed black, and he has spots of bruises trailing down through his lip to his jaw.
"Can we talk?" He asks, his hands in his pockets
"Kai, I told you already I'm not comfortable talking to you" I state
"I want to talk to you about Kalani, not us" He stammers, running his fingers through his hair.
"Fine" I concur, he nods.
"Thank you for taking care of her yesterday, and for always being there for her. She needs you." He starts, but he's looking at the ground. I can tell he's nervous, he won't look me in the eye. It's weird how well I know him.
"I love her, so you don't need to thank me" I state, he finally looks up, his eyes are glossy, just slightly.
"I really wanted to say that I hope what happened doesn't keep you from her, because she was hurt last time, and I'm not blaming you, I know I put you both in a very weird situation. I just know how much" he pauses for a second
"She needs you" he finishes, his eyes looking away again.
"I also wanted to apologize I put you in another bad situation and I'm sorry for that" He adds
"Thank you" I respond, he nods.
"That's all" He stutters, stepping back. I can tell he wants to leave.
"What happened to your face?" I ask out of curiosity.
"You don't know?" I shake my head, confused.
"Dylan didn't tell you?" He adds, and it clicks. That's why Dylan had bruises as well.
"You two fought?" I blurt
"He was mad" Is his response. A vivid memory of Dylan punching that guy shoots through my head.
"Rightfully" I add finally.
"Debatable, but I'll let it go" He responds putting his hands up in mock surrender. I watch as he walks to his car, and drives off.