Smile -Myg-

10

  WARNING: Please do not read if you are sensitive, suffer from depression, or have general anxiety.

  The ground is hard as they shove my ribcage into it. I try to scream, try to plead, but it'd be useless. They wrap their fingers around my arms and laugh. They laugh at how thin they are, how pale they are.

  I'm a freak.

  I try to breathe evenly, as they taught me.

  "Just another anorexic kid."

  "Poor girl, what you gonna do?"

  They stand over me, a prescription bottle in their hands.

  "Don't worry these will help you."

  Oh how naïve I was. So young and naïve. 

  I walked home, my bag feeling heavier than usual. It carried all the insults, all the pain, and most importantly the pills.

//

  Somehow after so long I still can't forget what they said to me. What they did to me. I thought I was a freak because of them. 

  I go into the bathroom and look at the blade.

  One little mark. That's all it takes for my thoughts to consume me.

  Everything I did wrong. Every mistake. Every flaw.

  I continue making marks along the sides of my stomach. My skinny stomach.

  No, I'm not  anorexic, I never was. I was just freakishly skinny. And I suffered for it.

  But maybe I deserved it. Maybe I still do.

  I wipe a towel along the side of myself to clean the incisions in my pale skin.  SeoJeong  is out of town for the weekend. She told me to have fun, but it seems I just suffer.

  How pathetic.

  It's all my fault.

  I take a look at myself in the mirror. My thin neck, my pale exposed body. You freak.

  The water freezes my fingers as I feel the water rushing from the bathtub faucet. I numbly step into the bath, the water turning an eerie red as I submerge my body.

  Freak.

A/N: I'm sorry...

Please vote, I promise the next few chapters will be better.

____

2020 A/N:

Hah. Yeah, I wrote this chapter from my own and complete feelings. No, I didn't experience this same stuff but I had a lot of these thoughts, and sadly, I still continue to.

But if you or somebody you know are having thoughts dealing with self harm please seek help immediately. It's not something that should be brushed off so easily and I know you might not want to be viewed differently for admitting to having these thoughts or getting someone else in trouble for having them but you can actually be saving someone's life. Even if you don't want to save your own life, I know there is someone out there who wouldn't be the same without you, even if you're completely unaware of it. So please, please take care of your mental health and make sure to check on those around you. <3