Smile -Myg-

43

  I stand in the middle of the small room, my hands are lightly shaking from the fear of ruining our relationship. For some reason it's almost easier to tell him than I thought, being rejected doesn't frighten me. Only the thought of losing him as a friend scares me.

  He gets up from his chair, "Yin. I..." He trails off, his eyes meeting mine with a sad gaze. He takes a minute before speaking again. "We've known each other for a while now and I really do care about you. You know that. But you know that I can't commit to any relationships with my company. Regardless of that, you would be under heavy criticism if anyone found out... It wouldn't be possible. It's not a life you want to live, being caught up in scandals and having constantly being threatened. I'm not worth it. You're a good person and you need to continue being one. I would only hurt you in the end." He looks down, his body radiating a feeling of strong guilt.

  "You know that's not true though..." My voice slightly breaks, I can't help but tear up. His voice sounds deeper than the usual soft tone he uses. I think that's what hurts the most. It feels like I'm talking to a stranger, not the man I've known for a couple years and have grown really attached to. I can only nod slightly at him as I walk out, trying not to make him feel more guilt towards me. He calls my name softly as I walk out, asking if I'm okay. If I were to respond it would be made certain that I am not. Because I'm not. I'm not okay.

  Taehyung looks over the couch's back as I walk past, keeping my head low. He must hear me sniff slightly. Immediately, he gets off the couch and meets me at the door. He shakes his head no at something and turns his attention to me. He doesn't talk, only stands by me as I put on my shoes. I turn and smile at him, trying to ignore the tears threatening to run down my face. His eyes turn soft and he gives me a soft and genuine smile.

  The wind blows my hair harshly as I finally make it outside of the building. The tears finally flow freely, the wind making them sting my cheeks from their coldness. I didn't think I would break. But I think I might've lost someone very important to me. My nose runs as I stand outside in the cold, a sniffing and sobbing mess of a person. I wipe my face with my sleeve and tell myself to calm down. My body rejects this request and my mind begins to spiral.

  How could I be so stupid to say such a thing? How would it work anyway? Did I expect some kind of fairy-tale ending? This is real life, and life is not that kind. Does he think I'm some creep fan who was trying to get close to him to date him? He must think I'm going to blackmail him now. I know things that the general public doesn't. Now he can't get rid of me because of the fear that I will betray them. Did I think he would turn towards me with his gentle smile and say that he felt the same? That he wanted to talk to me for hours, to hug me and call me his? Did I expect him to say that he thought about me often or that thinking of me brought a sweet smile to his face? God, what is wrong with me? I shouldn't have said anything. Why did I say anything?

  I end up at a bus stop, the only light coming from 10 feet away, broken and flashing erratically. The tears have dried on my face by this point. My mind is now empty and my feet and hands just feel heavy. My eyes begin to feel heavy as well, all my energy is drained from earlier. My eyes begin to shut and I rest my head against the side panel of the stop. The coldness has set in and my skin gently tingles but it's almost soothing... therapeutic...

  I'm woken up by a soft voice. With great struggle, I open my eyes to see Jimin. He's wearing a long coat and looking down at me with a small frown. I blink slowly and sit up.

  "Hi Jiminie. I was taking a quick nap."

  "You know that the bus doesn't come here this late, right?"

  "Oh... Yeah..." I wipe my eyes with my sleeves again, trying to look more presentable and less like the disaster that I feel emotionally. He extends his arm towards me. I tiredly put my hand in his. It's warm and soft. He helps me stand up and immediately gives me his jacket. The coat is insanely warm and I nearly fall asleep as soon as I put it on.

  "Come on, let's get you home, okay?" I sleepily nod and Jimin calls a driver.

____

Not me forgetting how to write completely. Would never-

I didn't even get 900 words, ah I'm very disappointment in myself. Okay, next chapter my goal is 1000 words. And I swear I'm going to start typing it right now. I also would like to make a Christmas chapter lol. I've been writing this story for too long.

PSA: If you're of voting age, please vote. Let your voice be heard. And please, please, please wear your mask. You are helping and protecting those around you by doing so, and please influence your friends to wear masks and take proper safety precautions.

Remember to take care of yourselves lovelies, and drink and eat well. If you ever need someone to talk or rant to, I will be here to listen. Thank you for reading, as always I truly and really do appreciate all the comments and votes.