Emma still worked long hours to save as much as she could before her baby was born. Even with careful planning it was inevitable that for the first couple of months her finances will be strained.
The payments for the loan she took out for her father's hospital bill had to be installed monthly for another year. The bankers wanted their due.
Her plan included going back to work two months after the baby is born. At first she could do a lot of work from home and when is necessary, take her baby to her office. It was a perk of being part of the management. If everything goes as she planned, she'll be fine, and she has to stay positive. There was another couple of months to go and so far she felt great. No need for panic.
Sunday afternoon was the only time she took off and she would go to a local park to sit by the pond that was home to a pair of ducks and their offsprings. She enjoyed watching them. A few yards away from the pond was the large, flat grassy area shaded by the ash tree and it was usually occupied by families having a picnic. Emma often watched the children play. When they would fall to the soft grass, every time their mothers or fathers were there to pick them up placing them back on their feet. It was hard to imagine that in a few months she'll be one of them. When the ball rolled her way, she would roll it back at the smiling faces of the recipients.
It gave her a sense of belonging, a way to escape her loneliness, but somehow lately she only felt the burden of it more. She was completely alone in this world. A few relatives back home became estranged after Mark married her cousin. In this large city she didn't know anyone besides the people she worked with.
Alexander. It was hard not to think of him, but he was something she could never have. She wasn't beautiful. A gorgeous guy like Alexander went out with beautiful women. Rina was a proof of that, she was stunning, the woman that belongs by his side. He expressed how he felt about Emma plenty of times. It still hurt to think how he wanted to use her. To have his fun on his terms until he gets married. Who knows maybe he's already married by now.
She made a decision not to let Alexander know about the baby. Emma knew she wasn't fair to Kate, but the situation couldn't be helped. It was too scary of a prospect to face his anger, for she knew he wouldn't take the news kindly. She only could hope she did a right thing by concealing her pregnancy.
At the thought Emma squeezed her eyes, she felt tears rolling down her cheek, and a headache coming on. She got up and walked for some time trying not to think of anything but sunshine on her face.
After the visit to the park, she usually stopped to get her groceries. It was her weekly shopping. She was always careful what and how much she bought. There wasn't much extra for more expensive, luxurious, better quality products, but she made sure she ate enough healthy vegetables.
Cooking her own meals and preparing her own lunches made her budget stretch a little further. Her apartment cost her more in rent, but it was in the better neighborhood. It was safer for her and her baby, and safety was important to her. That was one thing she didn't allow herself to compromise.
Every time she thought about her baby she felt ripples of excitement washing over her.
Unfortunately, her baby will never know its father. It will be loved by its mother.There were many things she should have done different, but she refused to think of her baby as a mistake. She should have left the farm with the first sight of hostility from Alexander. Never, never she should allow things to go that far, but most of all she shouldn't of fell in love with him. It was way too late for ifs. Life as a single parent was ahead of her. Somehow she'll make it work, and she'll manage. For months now she didn't hear anything about Jenkins. It seemed so long she saw him, but he never went too far from her mind, no matter how much she wished it.
Emma felt a little dizzy, but on Monday morning she went back to work.
"Good morning Ms. Jackson." The receptions greeted her.
From the day Kendra realized that the only relationship in between Emma and Lex is professional her attitude towards Emma got much warmer.
"Good morning Kendra."
Lex came to her office with a pamphlet on a new development in town. He wanted to open up a new restaurant in one of the commercial dwellings.
"It is a great potential. We have to jump on board while there is still a space. I need you to go and sign a contract, Mr. Heraldson, our lawyer is coming with you.
Emma wanted to advise him to wait with venturing into opening a new restaurant. They'll be stretching the company finances to the maximum, but Lex was the boss.
***
Alexander for the last two months worked harder and played harder. He started to go out with the dark, gorgeous model Melanie. He enjoyed her company, but he kept his heart at a distance. She traveled a great deal, but was around enough to scratch the surface of his tension, and that suited him just fine. At least she didn't annoy him by being demanding and was constantly around like Rina became lately.
He told Rina to keep the ring, but otherwise they were over. She didn't cry after him for too long. Soon on the scene came a son of a local businessman. He was a bit older, but rich enough that it didn't bother her.
Despite his busy schedule, little by little the deep green eyes managed to creep into his mind. But as soon as it happened, he shook it away, dismissing her out of his mind. She left on her own. It was her own fault. He never promised her forever. She knew he wasn't available as she didn't know about the scheme his engagement was.
"Alexander, have you seen my glasses? I know I placed them someplace around here, but where that is another question. I sure miss Emma." It came out before Kate had the time to stop herself.
Every time she would mention Emma in any way Alexander's mood would change into a dark, stormy grouchiness, and he became impossible to be around. She learned not to say anything about her around him, but today it slipped out.
"Well, good for you. I sure don't miss her." With an angry gesture he swept his hand through his dark hair and stormed out grabbing his keys from a hallway counter.
Kate shouted after him, "You are...." The rest of it he didn't hear. He was already outside starting the engine of his new toy, a new model of Jaguar. It didn't come cheap, but he was happy with his purchase. After all it didn't even put a dent into his account. Melanie was due back today, and he looked up to an evening in bed with a beautiful woman. Regardless of his positive thoughts, deep down, he more and more felt something missing out of his life, and knew that beautiful Melanie wasn't the answer to it. She was only a passing amusement, but she knew that he wasn't in a long term relationship. With a smile he patted his pocket. The expensive jewelry case was still there.
***
Emma stepped out of the medical clinic. So far until now everything was fine, but today's visit changed that. Her blood pressure was higher than it should be and she got the strong recommendations from her obstetrician.
"Take it easy and rest as much as possible. There is no reason for an alarm just yet, but we have to take all the precautions."
She asked Emma to come and see her at least once a week. Emma wanted to cry out of desperation. She didn't want to put her baby at risk, but work for her was necessary mean of providing for herself. There was no one else to help her. "Self pity won't resolve anything." She reasoned with herself. The baby pushed the little foot against her belly as if it agreed with her.
