The Complications Of Falling

The Struggle Of Recovery

Mer's pov

One month later...

Have you ever felt like your world was being ripped from underneath you? Well I have. It seems like your fine one minute and the next you're hanging by a thread. They say one thing about recovering from a surgery. Or recovering in general. It's difficult, troubling, but it's not impossible. They say once you cut the cord between what's trying you down, you feel weightless. It's like your floating in the air. It's like you have all this freedom do whatever you want or please to do. It's been a very difficult process. Everyone says it's early. But they don't know what the fuck they are talking about.

I woke up sprawled across both sides of the bed. I open my eyes and the glimmer of light shines through the cracks of the curtains. I look over to other side of me. I notice that Alex is no longer in bed. He must of been paged in the middle of the night. It's a normal thing to happen. Your patient codes, your paged. No matter where you are. I felt my stomach churn. I threw the covers off of me. Once my feet touch the floor. I could feel myself practically racing to the bathroom. I almost hurled on the carpet. I make it to the bathroom just in time before seconds later I'm tossing the contents in my stomach from last night's dinner in the toilet. After 10 mins of constant puking. I flushed the toilet. I grabbed some toilet paper. I wiped the corners of my mouth. I leaned against the wall. I start to think back in my head. Then I realize. I'm a month late. I should have gotten my period last week. My eyes start well up with burning tears. If I'm pregnant, how will he react?

I crawl my way to under the sink. There's a stash of pregnancy tests. I always keep them around. I mean there's me, maggie and Cris here. I ripped the plastic off. I take the test. 2 mins laters. I pick up the white pregnancy test in my hands. The test says positive. The thoughts rushed into my mind. The burning realization hits me. My breathing quickens. My heart races in my chest. I know I can be a great mother. It's just Alex and I just got together. Oh god how's he going react. The thought strikes me. I have to tell him. Mental flashbacks burn into my memory. Images of me being kicked, slapped, punched after I told Paul. The constant screams. He's horroring cold face. I could hear him screaming.

Flashback

"You stupid bitch"! Paul screamed.

"I'm sorry I haven't been feeling good lately" I said.

"Fuck, Are you pregnant"? He yelled.

"I don't know" I cried.

" I will be back don't move"! He shouted.

He comes back 20 mins later. He hands me the pregnancy test. He pushes me towards the bathroom. I peed on the little stick. I was so scared if it came out positive. Two mins later. I looked at the test and cried. It was positive. I have no idea how he would react. I opened the bathroom door.

"What does it say"? He asked.

"It's say I'm pregnant" I said shaky.

"Damn you bitch" He snapped.

He threw self at me. I tried to block his punches. But he punched me right in the face.

"That's what you get, you slut"! He yelled.

He stormed out. I bursted out crying. Tears soaked my face. I got pregnant by Paul. This guy is the father. I was kidnapped and now I'm having a baby. I just want to go home. I forced myself to go to sleep. I let keep thinking happy thoughts. That's what I have been doing to stay calm. I want Alex. I haven't seen my kids in so long. They probably think I'm dead. Alex has probably given up on me. "I will get out of here" I whispered to myself.

End of flashback

As the tears continued to stream down my pale cheeks. I'm still chocking on my tears as I text Cris and jo. Why does it take so long for people to get places? The first to show up is Cris of course. I hear the front door open and her calling my name. "Mer"? She yelled throughout the house. I clear my throat shakenly. "I'm upstairs"! I yelled from the bathroom. She runs up the creeky stairs over to me. She opened the door quickly. She looks down at the bathroom floor where she sees me. "Mer you okay"? She asked in a concern tone. I take a deep breath in. She notices how tense I am and her face starts to contort into concern. "I'm pregnant and I have no idea how he will react" I stammered as fresh new tears leak through my eyes. Her eyes flash with compassion. She moves closer to me and scoots up next to me. She placed her hand gently on my shoulder.

"Mer, Alex will never hurt you. He won't hurt you or the baby. He wouldn't even hurt a fly unless that fly was hurting you. He loves you. And he did nothing but worry about you the whole time you were gone" Cris explains as she rubs my shoulder soothingly. There was a knock on the door. I couldn't stand up. My legs were frozen in place. Cris opens the door and jo walks in. She had a smile on her face until she saw my face. Her face turned into instant concern. Her eyes traveled to the test on the sink. I could feel her eyes soften.

"Mer, it's going be okay. He won't be mad. He won't treat you the way Paul did. Alex wants kids and a family. The white picket fences, parks for his children to play at. He will be a great father" jo explains softly as she wipes my tears away.

"Thanks guys for helping me feel better. I'm just terrified. The last I had tell someone I was pregnant, he didn't take it well. As the jo came closer I began to flinch. She faces turns into worry. "Mer I'm not going to hurt you" She stated calmly as she wraps her arms around me. Cris's face was hard to interpret. I couldn't tell if she was mad or upset. "Mer, Alex it's not going to react the way Paul did" Cris whispers. Just hearing his name sent shivers down my back. My heart began to pound rapidly in my chest. Cris and Jo saw how panicked I was and hugged me. Our tears slid down our cheeks.

After a while on the bathroom floor. I stand up from where I was siting. "Cris, could you give me a ride to see Alex"? I asked hoping she had no way on saying no. Cris smirks up at me. "Of course, Mer" She states as she pulls out her keys from her pocket. Jo gives me a slightly smile. I knew she was hiding something. "Jo what is it"? I question with a hint of worry. Jo looks up from her feet and up at me. Her smile starts to disappear. My mind started racing. Why could see be not be happy? Did something happen? She clears her throat.

"Mer, can I speak to you for a minute"? She asked as she tried hiding a frown. I think she could sense the curiousness on my face. Because when I looked into her eyes. She wouldn't look me straight, she kept looking to the side or to the floor. Being the person who worries, this just caused me to be anxious. More chills were sent down my spine. "Has Paul tried to contact you"? Jo asked as her lips curled in fear. Hearing his name made me flinch. My lips were trembling. "N-no he hasn't" I stammered. Her voice was almost so soft you couldn't hear her mumbles about her terrifying threats. Cris's eyes widened in terror. The words that were exiting Jo's mouth were like being stabbed by sharp knifes repeatedly. I watched as Jo's eyes welled up with tears. The shivers and chills ran down my back. She pulls out a piece of paper with specks. The same specks that were red. The same exact one I got the first time, he sent me one after my accident.

The Painful flashbacks started to burn profusely into my memory. Images burned into my recognition. Bearing under the blankets hiding fearful for my life as he crept my room. The spine-chiling torture sex room. His hands on me, his disgusting taste in my mouth. I could still taste his venom. The way he talked or screamed at me were not distant nightmares. They were closer nightmares that would sneak up on you when you least expect it. Dragging you down the hole deeper,deeper and deeper until you see nothing but darkness of your soul sucking life. He caused me to remember every detail of what my mother said. How ordinary, disappointed she was of me. And how I will never live up to her exceedingly high expectations. I still have scars and mental burns from the horrendous trauma I have been through.

I shake off the painful nightmare. I look up to jo. She was shaking and crying. I felt my heart being twisted into with a knife. "Mer I'm scared. His letters haven't stopped. They say when he gets out he will get back at me and kill me" Jo chocks out as she starts to hyperventilate. Me and Cris wrap our arms around her as she lets out heartbreaking cries. I could feel her heart rate start to slow down. She began to calm down. I let go of jo and wiped her tears away from her bloodshot eyes. "It's going to be okay, Jo. He won't get you and I will make damn sure of it" I reassured her. She starts to let out giggles. Pretty soon we were all laughing our way to the car.