Temporary Bliss [boyxboy]

25: Monster

Caleb

I thought that bringing Danny back would have signalled the end of Matt and I's arguing.
It didn't.
If anything, it made it worse.

Whenever I walked into the room, Danny went pale and Matt's arms would visibly tighten around him.
The glares that were sent to me by my supposed friend said: If you touch him I'll kill you.

I understood that loud and clear, because honestly, Matt looked like a lion protecting its cub, and it was a little terrifying.

My relationship with said cub wasn't really improving, either. Not that Matt would ever let me within five foot of the younger boy, but even if he did, I was certain that Danny wouldn't speak to me anyway.

I didn't miss the flashes of anxiety in his eyes every time I looked at him, didn't miss how he would shy into Matt's side for protection.

And while Danny had every right to be scared of me, it still made me feel like shit that he was, made me feel like a monster.

But I wasn't a monster, right?
Yeah, I'd done some fucked up things in my life, but I was really trying - and if I wanted to hurt Danny I wouldn't have brought him back, would I?

Matt hadn't talked to me either, even though he had stayed in the guest room with Danny these past few days.

I hadn't really thought about it at first, but Danny coming back also meant him moving in because he had nowhere else to stay, and that in turn meant Matt pretty much moving in as well. The red head would only leave Danny alone with me over his dead body.

It sucked, feeling so unwanted in my own home. The only person showing me any warmth at all was Finn - and I hadn't decided if that was a good thing yet.

The worst part was that I would have to live with this being a regular thing. How I was going to get through this, or if it was ever going to get better, I didn't know. I could only hope and try to be a better person.

---

It was around lunch time that I finally managed to get myself to emerge from my bedroom and wander downstairs into the kitchen to make something to eat.

I couldn't help but smile when I saw that Finn was already working on it.

The blonde boy looked up at me when he heard me approaching, "Sandwich? Or do you want to wait 'til dinner?"

"Sandwich, please."

I stepped up to the counter and opened the package of cheese, taking more time than necessary just to give me something to do. It was extremely rare that I found myself wishing I had work on the weekends, but in that moment I would have rather been in my office than at home, without a doubt.

"They're cute, huh?" Finn whispered, jerking his head in the general direction of the living room.

I glanced over my shoulder and shrugged. He meant Matt and Danny, obviously. They were curled up on the couch together, watching TV.

"I guess," I mumbled, continuing to pile cheese onto my sandwich.

"What's wrong?" Finn asked then and I felt his arms sliding around my waist from behind.

"Nothing," I groaned, grabbing his wrists and disentangling his arms from around me, pushing him away a little, because Finn being so close to me really wasn't helping my mood.
I tried and failed to ignore the flash of hurt in his eyes.

That just made me feel even worse, so I decided to swallow my pride and caught his hands as he turned to walk away, pulling him against my chest.
Because - cutting all the bullshit - yeah, I did want this.
I just wanted someone who didn't think I was a complete monster, someone who didn't seem to hate me.