Temporary Bliss [boyxboy]

14: Dèja Vu

I didn't sleep all night.

I was tossing and turning - I had tried everything. My mind was just a tornado of thought-shreds and it wouldn't let me sleep.

Before I knew it, it was six in the morning and the sun was rising. I gave up with an angry sigh, and got out of bed.
After I had taken a shower, I went downstairs to make myself some breakfast.
I made scrambled eggs, bacon and toast, humming "All The Small Things" by blink-182 along, hoping it'd distract me.

It did for a while, until I saw Caleb walk downstairs in nothing but a pair of basketball shorts and socks, holding a shirt in his hand.
I had just started to eat, but at the sight of him my fork had somehow forgotten where it was supposed to go halfway to my mouth.

Oh God. I was dreading the conversation that was bound to come.

When I realized that I was staring, I quickly averted my eyes back to my plate and continued eating. I glanced up at who was supposed to be my best friend when he passed me to walk to the fridge.
He threw the door open angrily and I had to surpress a sigh.
He hadn't even looked at me! Like I wasn't even there!

That made me madder than it should have, but I didn't let it show. I knew not to test Caleb when he was in a bad mood - which he clearly was, judging by how he slammed the fridge shut again, taking only a bottle of water with him and stomping away.

"Would you... Like some breakfast?" I offered, ducking my head because I was honestly a little scared of Caleb in that moment.
He was terrifying when he was angry.

"No," he grunted rudely and walked away, down the hallway and towards the front door.

I heard him putting on a jacket.

"Where are you going? Do you need any help?" I asked, making a second attempt at being nice.

"None of your fucking business," I could hear him answer faintly, before the front door slammed shut.

I closed my eyes and groaned.
Why did he have to be so childish?!

I occupied myself with cleaning for the next few hours. I vacuumed and mopped all the floors. I changed both Caleb's and my sheets and made our beds. I cleaned up the kitchen, ours and the guest bathroom, dusting off the TV and every cabinet.
I even cleaned the big glass doors that led to the terrace - they were so clean that they were almost invisible.

I was proud of myself when I finished, but quite suddenly, I was left with nothing to do.
And having nothing to do meant thinking - mostly about Caleb - which I really didn't want to do.

I ended up watching some shitty "reality" TV show and feeling sorry for myself.

Seriously, what had I been thinking? Yeah, I was mad at Caleb for initiating it, but I was at least just as mad at myself for going along with it for so long.
And there it was again - this horrible feeling of guilt because I'd basically helped him cheat on his girlfriend. As much as I didn't like her, she didn't deserve that - no one did.

And what was the worst part? That I'd actually enjoyed it. Caleb definitely knew how to kiss, and I would be lying if I said that I'd hated it.
If only he was a girl... and not my best friend. Or at least not straight!

"Ughhhh!" I groaned to myself in annoyance, running my hands over my face.
What was happening to me?
This was all so wrong, so so wrong.
Not only was Caleb a straight guy and dating someone, he was also my absolute best friend. He had been for years and years.
I'd always thought of him as the twin brother I'd never had - a family member.

And you didn't make out with your family members, under no circumstances!
Right. I just had to keep reminding myself of that - Caleb was essentially a family member and nothing more.