Temporary Bliss [boyxboy]

45: Moving on (or trying)

Finn

Today, I had a date.

And today, Caleb wasn't happy about it.

That fact had been clear from the start, when I had woken Caleb around noon and asked him to help pick out an outfit, and his simple reply had been for me to "fuck off and ask Matt or Danny".

I could've brushed it off as just morning snappiness, seeing as Caleb had said it just after he'd woken up, but I knew him better than that.

He'd known about the date for three days now, and not once had he looked happy about it.
For the past few days he had tried to hide that though, smiling forced and weakly every time the subject came up, making small talk about how he hoped it would go well, if either Matt or Danny involved him in the conversation.

It'd started to make me feel guilty, because I knew Caleb was genuinely trying to be okay with it, really trying to make me happy, and it felt nice that he was doing that for me.
But it felt terrible too, because it was all forced and fake.
He was being forced to feel in a way that he didn't, and I could relate to that feeling.

Over the past couple of days, I'd felt bad for my best friend.

But now that the day was actually here, Caleb wasn't trying so hard.
He wasn't trying at all, actually, instead he was being an asshole and I didn't like it at all.

It was just one day where I needed support, and one day where more than Matt and Danny, I needed Caleb to calm me down and make me feel confident.

It was my first date with a guy ever. I was nervous and insecure and I needed some reassurance.

But I wasn't getting any of that, and it sucked, that instead I was getting a man who was barely uttering a word to me, slamming around the kitchen like he was the most hard done by man in the world.
He wasn't, not by any standards, and I was on the fine line between wanting to scream at the older man and wanting to cry.

I was stressed out enough about today without thinking about Caleb, without the glares he kept sending in mine and Danny's direction as we tried to find conversation topics.

Honestly, I just wanted to crawl back into bed and forget the whole thing.

It was ridiculous, but I was beginning to wonder if a single date really was worth stomping all over the progress Caleb and I had made recently.

But then my brain pointed out to itself that the older man was the one being a douche bag, and that I hadn't done anything to deserve the way Caleb was acting whatsoever, and so I sighed to myself and ignored the slam of yet another cupboard as Danny's hand rested against my shoulder.

"Ignore him," he whispered quietly, eyes on Caleb to make sure the older man wasn't listening, "Just do something for yourself okay? Don't worry about his stupid attitude."

The words were said with a little bit of venom, and I shared the mood, nodding my head slowly.

"I really want this to work out," I sighed, feeling it in my gut because I did, I wanted this so much. I needed a distraction from Caleb, because for once in my life I was trying to stand my ground just a little bit.

I had met a guy on a dating app maybe a week or two ago, who shared some of my interests, seemed nice enough and had a good sense of humor. Plus, he was pretty cute.
I was excited to meet him, because I couldn't fall back into my habit of doing whatever Caleb wanted me to.

I was excited, so excited and up until today I'd actually felt confident that it would go well.

But now Caleb was thundering around and making me feel like shit and yeah, I just wanted to go back to bed.