Temporary Bliss [boyxboy]

48: A Million Things and None At All

Finn

After an excruciatingly long-seeming but uneventful shift at the bar, I finally stepped outside into the cool night air with a sigh.

Caleb was already waiting. I was honestly dreading the car ride back home with him. I'd spent the past hours overthinking what he had said when he'd dropped me off, and I had come to the conclusion that he was trying to screw with my head.

He had to know that I still had feelings for him. And he had to know that him saying things like that did nothing but make it harder on both of us, or at the very least on me.

But why? Just why was he doing this? Why did he just now have to show me his soft side after I'd already made my decision? Which I'd been questioning enough as it was.

I opened the car door and got in.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey."

I spoke up again after a minute, "You really should have stayed home... you have to get up for work in like two hours... I feel bad."

Caleb took a left turn before he answered, "I took tomorrow off anyway."

"Oh... why?"

He shrugged, "No reason."

I turned my gaze into my lap where my fingers were fumbling nervously.
The happy-go-lucky Caleb from earlier was gone, and it brought my mood down as well.

Or maybe he was just tired?

"Listen," he said after another few minutes of silence, when we were almost home, "about what I said earlier... I'm sorry. It was out of line."

"Yeah... it's fine," I muttered, avoiding eye contact with my best friend.

Another minute of silence.

We pulled into the driveway and Caleb turned off the car, but neither of us moved.

I glanced over to the brunette boy nervously, contemplating whether or not to say something.

"Can I ask you something?" I finally mustered, quietly.

"Hm?"

"Why are you doing this to me?"

Caleb looked at me. I couldn't quite pinpoint what emotion his face was displaying.

"What do you mean?"

"Telling me I'm cute... driving me places and picking me up voluntarily, being all affectionate and sweet, generally just... I don't know..." I trailed off, realizing how stupid I sounded.

"I'm just being nice," he replied.

I sighed, "Caleb, you know what I mean... I've told you before that I- that we can't do this. It's for everyone's sake."

"I know. But I'm not trying to change your mind, so what's the problem?"

"Caleb, you can't be serious right now," I said weakly.

"What?"

"You can't tell me that you seriously think this all isn't affecting me!"

Caleb stayed silent for a moment. I turned to the window to wipe at my eyes and take a deep breath. I really needed to stay calm.

"Well, if it is then you've been doing a pretty good job of hiding it." he said.

"Obviously," I replied, now a little heated, despite my best efforts, "that's what I'm trying to do. I have to pretend I don't care when you look at me like... like that all the time, when you are clearly thinking about kissing me, when you do all these things that make me go insane. You know, Caleb. You know how I feel about you.
And you know I'm really trying hard to change that, or at the very least ignore it, but you are putting me through hell with what you're doing."