The Keys to my Diary ~ Fern

Saturday, March 21

OMG! My own body just gave me the worst birthday-week present ever. I don't even know how to write about it, but I need to get it out, and I'm sure not going to discuss it with anyone. It's embarrassing and appalling, and I just don't want to deal with this sort of thing. How is this happening to me??

Okay, here goes, I'm just going to have to write it. Deep breath...I have a gray pube! Ick! I hate that word, and I'm not a huge fan of what it represents either. To see a wiry, white one poking out from the group was absolutely devastating. Am I that old? Is this what I have to look forward to?

Now, the big question becomes what to do with it. I don't want to leave it. If I'm ever lucky enough to be in a situation where I'm intimate with a man again, I certainly don't want him to see that. Jared would probably run away screaming from the old lady with the gray bush.

My first instinct was to pluck it. I just want rid of it. I had the tweezers at the ready when I remembered some saying about pulling one gray hair out and seven more replacing it. Is that just an old wives' tale or is it true? I really don't want to take the chance. I yanked out the first couple of gray hairs on my head, and they have since multiplied. It's easy to color those, though. Can you color your pubic hair? It seems like too sensitive a region for harsh chemicals. I don't want to burn anything important down there.

Maybe I should just remove all of the hair. It is rather unsightly anyway. I have tried shaving it a few times in the past, but then it itches like having a thousand mosquito bites in your undies when it grows back. I'm waaaay too big of a wimp to go to a waxing salon and have the hair ripped out from the follicles. They'd probably get one side done, and I'd run out of there. I doubt that I can make a half-hairy, half-bare trend work. I have considered laser hair removal, but that's so permanent. Do I want to look like a bald, pre-pubescent girl when I'm in the nursing home? I guess it's almost as ridiculous on someone my age, but then again, so is a gray bush. Ugh!

I guess I'll just pluck it and hope that no more come in. Maybe I'll give myself a nice trim too, so that any new ones won't be so prominent. Be back in a sec.

I just got back from removing the offending stray-gray and giving myself a nice, short haircut. Did you miss me? Ha ha!

I'm going to have to start doing some yoga stretches. Maneuvering to see all of those deep, dark places (so that I didn't cut myself) was not an easy task. It wasn't helped by the fact that someone banged on the bathroom door twice while I was in there. I jumped and nearly slit my clit. (Sorry to be vulgar, but it's true. At least I think that's what I poked with my sharp, little cuticle scissors.) Sharing an on-property, employee-housing unit with three other female TKYC employees is cheap and makes for an easy commute to work, but it definitely has its disadvantages. It's not like I can talk about this with my roommates either. The oldest of them is 27, so they wouldn't even be able to comprehend the idea of the horrors I was dealing with in there.

I feel much better since that issue is taken care of, for now, anyway. I'll try not to be so graphic when writing future posts; but I needed to hash that out, and this is how I process things.

***If you don't want to wait to read more, the entire book is available as a FREE download! Get it at your favorite ebook vendor HERE: https://books2read.com/u/3JKKBg