The Keys to my Diary ~ Fern

Monday, September 21

What an emotional night we had last night. I'm exhausted from it, but glad that we were able to be so open with each other.

I almost didn't get to Mac at all. The gate guard at the Club's pier refused to let me pass because I didn't have the right credentials. I could see Mac's massive ship, but I didn't have any way to get to it. It was so close, yet so far away. I even briefly considered hopping into the ocean from the lagoon area and swimming over, but that move screamed of desperation, and I'm not totally bat-shit crazy.

By some stroke of luck, Manny, one of the deck hands that I met the night we ate our freshly-caught shrimp on the ship, happened to stroll by. He vouched for me and promised to make sure that I didn't cause any trouble. Manny beamed from ear-to-ear as we walked to the yacht, as if he were bringing his boss the catch-of-the-day. I was silently praying that he and I wouldn't be disappointed by Mac's reaction upon seeing me.

Mac's face when I walked on board was completely unreadable. If he was surprised to see me escorted onto his yacht, he hid it well. He remained quiet, waiting to see what I had to say. The ship was bustling with activity, so I asked him if we could go somewhere private to talk. He led me to a small bedroom and closed the door. I was surprised by how tiny and rather plain the space was. It was functional, but lacked the luxury and opulence of the more public areas of the yacht. I suppose when you're travelling on a floating mansion, you don't spend a lot of time holed up in your bedroom.

The picture of me with the baby alligator was framed and on the bedside table. I was beyond thrilled to see that. If he intended to bring any ladies here, he'd have to hide that first. Of course, for all I know, this could be one of many bedrooms he utilizes on the ship, but I'm going to choose not to ponder that possibility.

I asked when they were departing and was taken aback to learn that they are leaving today. In fact, they are probably heading out now. I am off work today and avoiding the Club like the plague. I cannot stand and watch Mac sail away from me for the next six months.

I do at least have some solace. When I finally worked up the courage to ask him if he wanted to remain a couple during this separation or see other people, he indicated that I would be the only woman in his life (and his bed) and that he expected to be the only man in mine. That was a huge relief to hear because I hadn't been completely certain of our monogamy until he uttered those wonderful words.

We spent the night is his cabin on the ship tenderly making love and clinging to each other. I didn't want to let him go, but since he didn't offer to take me along, I didn't really have another choice. I struggled to maintain my dignity as we said our goodbyes and managed to keep the waterworks at bay until I was safely back in my car. I have spent the rest of the day alternating between sobbing and sleeping, so now I have a wicked headache.

I wish I could go to bed and wake up with these six months over with. I don't know how I'm going to face this expanse of time without Mac.

What kind of person wishes six months of their life away? Maybe I need to find some kind of hobby or class to keep my mind occupied. I'm going to do some online research to figure out a 'Mac-free life survival plan' to get me through this time. Maybe I can find something that will turn me into such an interesting, fun-to-be-around person that he'll never want to leave again. What should I type into Google to find that? Miracle cures for averageness?

*** What do you think of this book? Please VOTE / COMMENT / FOLLOW. Thank you! ***