In my last post I was trying to figure out what Mac's flaw is. I think I know what it is. It's that he's too darn far away. Going a month without seeing him, touching him, or making love with him is for the birds. I wonder what he's doing. I miss him. I long for him. I want his skin on my skin.
Maybe I should move to New York. I would get to see him during the week, rather than just the random weekend that I get with him now. I could be his NYC girlfriend and his new Keys girlfriend would only get to see him when he had time to break away and come down here. Why do I get negative like that? I just assume that a fantastic guy like Mac has multiple girlfriends, even though the thought makes me physically ill.
I could find something to do in New York, right? It's a giant hub of activity. Surely, there are plenty of jobs I could do there. The problem might be finding a decent place to live that I can afford. I don't want to become financially dependent on Mac. I want to pay my own way, but that might be a problem in New York with my limited means and employment skills. Besides, I'd probably freeze my butt off. Well, not right now, but when winter rolls around, for sure.
So, I guess I talked myself out of moving up to be with him. Maybe I should focus on getting him to come down here more often. How can he stand to be away from me for a month? Doesn't he miss me too? I would never choose to be away from him for this long. I keep hoping that it's not his choice, but that work and other obligations keep him from coming down. I'm having a hard time convincing myself of that, though. Isn't the whole point of becoming rich and powerful so that you can do what you want, when you want? I guess the only takeaway from that is: he doesn't want to do me right now. Bummer.
I just wrote myself into a corner that left my only option as that unpleasant conclusion. Now I'm down and grumpy, and I'm going to bed.
Wait, I can't end on that sour note. Here's a better thought. Tomorrow I'll be one day closer to seeing him again.
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The Keys to my Diary ~ Fern
RomanceHi, there! Would YOU like to take a peek in my diary? Wait, we haven't been introduced. My name is Fern, and by some wonderful stroke of good luck, I live in the beautiful, tropical Florida Keys. My life is wacky, often wild, and always entertaining...
