I think I'm suffering from minor depression. I've never gone this long without journaling, but I just don't feel like writing, and there really isn't much to say. I manage to make it to work when I'm supposed to be there. I chit chat with my friends when we spend time together. I respond appropriately about the gorgeous weather, my soon-to-be-due rent check, or the timing for the repair of my bathtub faucet's leak when I see my landlords in the driveway. I do my laundry, pay my bills on time, and talk to Mac whenever he finds the time to call, but my heart just isn't in any of it.
I wonder sometimes if I would be better off if I had never met Mac. Then I wouldn't know what I was missing. I could go about my life in contented oblivion, the way I used to. Now I am aware of what it's like to emotionally and physically click with a person so well that it is devastating to spend time without him.
Sometimes I wake up at night sobbing and reaching out to thin air. I miss him so much that I ache with the need for him.
I tried talking to Marina about it, but she is convinced that he is off partying on his yacht with a bevy of beautiful babes, and that I should use this time to try to get over him. That just isn't going to happen. I'm not sure I could forget Mac, even if I wanted to.
I wonder what he is doing all the time. Wouldn't it be boring to sit on a ship all the time? Is he conducting business meetings on these travels or is this more of an extended vacation? I asked him about it once, and he indicated that this trip is 'business, not pleasure.' He didn't expand any further.
I'm trying not to take this lengthy disappearance personally, but every time I think about him choosing to leave me for six months, I get my feelings hurt. Even if he is conducting some business, shouldn't he have some time available to come here or fly me wherever he is at the time? I just don't understand how he can do this, or why he would choose to do this to us.
***Share your opinion. Please be sure to Vote / Comment / Follow. Thank you!***
YOU ARE READING
The Keys to my Diary ~ Fern
RomanceHi, there! Would YOU like to take a peek in my diary? Wait, we haven't been introduced. My name is Fern, and by some wonderful stroke of good luck, I live in the beautiful, tropical Florida Keys. My life is wacky, often wild, and always entertaining...
