Wanting You - Mandy Gonzalez X Chris Jackson - COMPLETED

5 - Pancakes?

I wake up early and panicked at where I was, before remembering I was at Chris's place. I got up to make breakfast for Chris and Doug. It took me a while to find what I was after, but I eventually found the flour, eggs and milk and made us all pancakes. I felt a pang in my heart as I realised it was a Sunday. I always used to make Adam pancakes every Sunday morning, for when he came back from his morning run.

I tried to shake the feeling away as I finished the pancakes. I ended with a huge stack of fluffy pancakes on the table when I heard little footsteps. I looked towards the corridor to see a little boy running in a smile on his face.

"Mama, mama." He called. I shed a small tear and closed my eyes waiting for the little three year old to run into me. But the impact never happened.

"Mandy? Are you alright?" I heard a concerned voice ask from the direction where the kid had come from.

I let my breath out I didn't realise I was holding in. I slowly opened my eyes to see Chris standing in front of me holding the child.

"Mama, Mama. Pancakes." The kid called.

I looked up at Chris as we both had glassy eyes. I had a realisation that Veronica must have always made them pancakes on Sundays as well. Tears fell down my face and I ran to my room leaving the boys in the kitchen. I jumped on the bed and curled up into a ball crying.

"How could I do that to them? How could I do that to Chris? I'm bringing back memories and traditions that were theirs. I'm not part of their family. Why am I such and idiot?" I whimpered into the pillow.

"Doug, stay there." He hear in the distance. The next thing I know is that Chris is sat on the edge of the bed, his hand rubbing my shoulder as I cry. "Hey Mandy. It's fine. I know you feel terrible but don't. Doug just doesn't understand what's happened. It's not your fault. Calm down hun. It's okay."

I felt comforted by Chris's hand rubbing my shoulder and his calming words, but inside I still felt like I'd upset him. "But... but the pancakes. I'm guessing Veronica made you pancakes every Sunday morning for breakfast." I whimpered. "You had glassy eyes. I saw them. I made you upset, I should just leave."

"No Mandy, don't leave us. I need you Mandy. I really need you." I rolled over and looked up into his eyes. "Yes, V did do pancakes on Sundays, it's always been Douglas's favourite breakfast. I've been too upset to make him any myself since she passed away, so he's been without them for weeks. I had glassy eyes in there because of how you looked. I was worried about you. You had your eyes squeezed shut and you weren't taking any breaths. You looked like you were going to pass out Mandy."

I shivered. He really cared about me? I was confused, upset and shocked all at the same time. "Oh okay." I whimpered.

"Look Mandy, I'm so happy you made pancakes and I want you to make them every Sunday. I just would love homemade pancakes on Sundays, even if they aren't V's pancakes, they're yours and I'm sure they are amazing." Chris smiled down at me and ran his hand through my hair. I felt so confused and conflicted. Why was he running his hand through my hair? Who does that to anyone other than someone they like? I decided it was something else to just shake off, like everything else in my head. I looked down at the sheets.

"Okay. I felt a pang in my heart making them. But I just had to. I made them for Adam every Sunday morning, but since he left me I've not been able to since I've been I a hotel. I refused to eat the ones they provided, so as soon as I had the opportunity to make pancakes I did. You also deserved it. You've given me so much, you've literally given me somewhere to live. That's something I haven't had in almost a year. So I wanted to make you breakfast because that's about all I am able to do for you. So thank you so much. Just one thing. What do we do about Douglas, he keeps calling me Mama and I just don't think that's fair on any of us. He needs to know that I'm not his mom, and that I'm just a friend, living with you." Thoughts ran through of my head of what if something did happen between me and Chris and I did become his step mom. So many what if's went through my head, I squeezed my eyes shut breathing deeply.

"Mandy?" There was a pause. "Mandy?" I heard louder, before another pause. "Mandy please!" I finally opened my eyes again, seeing panic in Chris's eyes.

"I'm sorry." I frowned, annoyed that I'd made him panic.

"Don't worry Mandy. Just as long as you are okay. But I suggest we talk to him together. And if he calls you mama just tell him. I don't want you being upset by him calling you Mama, Okay?"

"Okay. Thank you Chris. You're the best." I sat up and wrapped my arms around his neck, leaning my head on his chest. His arms went around my waist and he pulled me slightly closer to him. My heart was beating fast. Just being in his arms felt right in a way. His arms wrapped around me perfectly as mine fell over his shoulders. "Thank you." I whispered again.

I knew I had proper feelings for him, I doubted he had feeling for me in that way, he was just being kind, that's all. I knew I would tell him at some point, but for now I just enjoyed the feeling of his hold around my body.