{ #4 } The Darker Side Of The Moon (MxM || 18+)

Chapter 27 - I Won't Give Up On You

The Darker Side Of The Moon
Book 4 of The Black Moon series
Chapter 27: I Won't Give Up On You

(Gary's POV – Wednesday 26 August 2015)

"I still want to go to Minneapolis! I don't want to go to Chicago... please Dad..."

This is the second time Jeremy says it and now, there is no being mistaken. I wasn't really paying attention to their conversation before, and the first time he voiced his opinion, I could have given the benefit of the doubt to my ears. However, when he repeats it again, I understand that I clearly heard.

Jeremy doesn't want to go back to Chicago.

Why? His life is there! With me! I have been waiting for this moment for so long, I can't let him go now!

"Jer... I don't understand either... I love you, Baby... I've been waiting for..." I plead.

As I get closer to the group to stand between his mother and his father, my voice is definitely not as steady as I would like, but it simply holds all the painful emotions I am feeling right now.

"I don't want to go to Chicago!!!! I don't want to go with you!" he shouts.

The fact that he doesn't even look up at me hurts a lot, but the meaning of his words is even worse. In the beginning, I could have understood it as he doesn't want to go back to Chicago because the city evokes bad memories to him. Well fine! I could have dealt with that. I don't need to live in the old city. I could move anywhere I want. But then, the next precision removed any doubt I may have had.

He doesn't want to go with me. He couldn't be any clearer.

All the time he was away, I never lost hope to see him again. Maybe not in the first few days, but I quickly convinced myself that I would find him at some point. That he would return to me. Never have I envisaged he wouldn't want to be with me again. Perhaps I was a bit too presumptuous... The result is I wasn't prepared for that, so hearing it loud and clear is worse than a cold shower. It's worse than a stab in my heart. My vision gets blurred by tears and I feel as numb as the day I read his farewell letter for the first time.

"Jeremy!" Megan whisper-shouts, obviously as shocked as I am.

"Gary, let's go for a walk," I hear Philip say but I'm barely conscious as he wraps a firm hand above my elbow and tugs me outside. As if I was about to pass out. "Let's go get you some fresh air..."

He leads me along the corridors, a bit like Tony did earlier this morning, until we are outside. For a long moment we just walk in silence. I take deep breaths of air, striving to fight the nausea seizing me. Thoughts are jostling in my head, all mixed up and confused. I try to disentangle them, but it seems like my head is just a bag of bones. We eventually reach a little park and Philip sits down on a bench, so I just imitate him.

I don't want to go with you!

Jeremy's words keep rehearsing in my head and realization hits me. I break down into heavy sobs, resting my elbows on my knees and leaning my face in my hands. I can feel Philip's hand brushing my back, but unfortunately, it doesn't bring me any comfort. I have never loved anyone like I love Jeremy. Before his abduction, I was ready to propose to him. I wanted him to become my husband. There was a happy future for us, filled with happiness, love and even kids. I know I was seeing things far, but I had faith in what us meant.

I had never felt anything like this before, but what was almost as strong as my love for him was my certainty that we would spend the rest of our life together. I never had any doubt about that. Even in his absence, I couldn't see things differently.