{ #4 } The Darker Side Of The Moon (MxM || 18+)

Chapter 40 - I'm Ready

The Darker Side Of The Moon
Book 4 of The Black Moon series
Chapter 40: I'm Ready

Jeremy's POV – Thursday 12 November 2015

His broad chest is so comfortable, allowing me to feel his powerful muscles.

His warmth is chasing away the cold within me.

His heartbeat against my face is soothing all my anxieties, telling me how eager he is.

His strong arms wrapped around my frame are reassuring.

His hands brushing all over my back are appeasing.

I feel relaxed, in peace with myself tonight for the first time in months. Tonight is the night. The night I will offer myself to the man I love.

He needs it.

I need it.

I'm ready.

" I think... No, I'm sure... that I'm ready to... make love..."

There. The words are out. No regret, no shame, no fear. Just a bit of apprehension but I entirely trust Gary to guide me through this new step.

I have been rehearsing this moment in my head for the past two or three days, wondering which would be the best way to bring up my desire to make love. My initial idea was to show Gary... Ever since that afternoon on the beach almost two weeks ago, he has been preparing me for the full deed, the one where I would let his big monster penetrate me to speak crudely. More romantically speaking, I would say he has been working with pleasant sensations on different parts of my anatomy, getting me ready to finally make love with him.

Feeling something probe at my entrance was certainly one of my worst worries, even if it was hidden behind other insecurities, but Andrei's ways did forge fears within me. Despite Timmy's advice and my capability to relax when it was required, there was only so much I could do to loosen up. Just enough to avoid bad damage after being fucked without preparation, but it was still horribly painful. Of course, I know Gary would never do anything like this to me, Andrei was a sick bastard with a fetish for tight assholes, but my body still remembers the fifteen times he fucked me.

And yet, my saint of a lover has been as perfect as ever over the past two weeks, slowly showing me how good it can feel down there, progressively and patiently working on my fears. From the brush of his thumb along the crack of my ass, it went to further teasing. Each time he gave me head, his fingers would become a little more insistent on my closed hole, making me rediscover these delicious sensations. As days went by, there was the tip of a finger poking inside, then a knuckle, then two, then the whole finger until it reached my sweet spot and made me stars.

This is all thanks to Gary's extreme patience and because he always finds the perfect words to assuage my anxieties each time I need them. He is just perfect.

With this gentle progression, I have been able to slowly readapt to more intimate touches, which has allowed my brain to tone down the painful physical memories I had. They are still here, somewhere at the back of my head, which is why I still have a bit of apprehension, but sweeter ones are now overpowering them, making me feel like I am ready to take this next step.

But it's not only that. There is also all the work around the book I am writing. The last chapter I wrote was dealing with a very sweet memory and it also helped a lot. Funnily enough, this is a souvenir I already had about a month ago, the day I convinced Gary to stay home instead of flying to Chicago and I made my first attempt at blowing him. At that moment, I remembered our first date as lovers, only a few weeks after we began our first contract, and I decided to describe this scene in the book. This was also the first time Gary made love to me in his bed, not in the playroom of his house, and it was amazing. Digging into this memory in the last few days for more details brought up quite intense emotions which have pushed me even harder toward my decision.