Crazies In Love »YoonMin«

Meet

I woke up, barely being able to see. My nurse watched over me and cuddled with me like I asked until I fell asleep. But I didn't really go to sleep. I stood up all night remembering how Yoongi's lips feel and let the people talk in my head negatively without a fuss. Maybe seeing another me, but not causing a scene for everyone to wake up in the middle of the night just to check on me. I dealt with it this time.

I hid my face as soon as my nurse entered. I look and feel terrible. When she caught a glimpse of me by moving my hands she didn't turn sad as I thought. She was still smiling.

"I have good things to tell you, Jimin."

"What is it?" I still kept my hands over my swollen face, my voice rumbled against them.

"You just have to see for yourself, okay?" she lend me a hand and I accepted it.

I got pulled out of bed and followed where she went. It was the visitors room.

We got there and Yoongi appeared. He looked all casual and free. I'm getting jealous. He looks cleaner, brighter, happier. I want to be like that.

The child me would jump up and down seeing Yoongi again after missing him a whole bunch. But ever since he left it's just been me looking depressed and having breakdowns from the hallucinations. So I'm angry now. At him. I know I said I missed him, and I do, but he just knocked down the trust wall he built so easily. I can't trust him anymore. Just like my parents, they knocked me down, came back, and knocked me down some more.

He smiled at me once I could walk on my own without my nurse's hand holding mine. I didn't do it back and walked emotionless, not giving eye contact at all. I don't want to face him.

"Jimin." he looked at me with concern, but kept that smile on his face like it'll cheer me up. It won't. Then he went in for a hug and I stopped him, placing my hand on his chest to show I didn't want one. Not from him.

I left a blank face on as I sat down and still didn't look at him when he sat right in front.

"Have you been crying?"

"No." it's very obvious I was, but I lied anyway.

"Yes you have. I can see it." his hand raised to feel my face, but I backed away. He got the hint and put it back down. "Are you mad at me?"

"What does it look like? Am I?"

"You're acting like it."

I rolled my eyes and didn't say anything else back. In the corner of my eye I could see and feel his eyes on me. Should I act this way or should I give in? I don't really want to because ignoring him and being rude is minor to the fact he's not gonna be in that room everyday to make me smile anymore. He's out and living life like he's supposed to while he left me here to feel much worse than before I met him.

"Jimin," he called. "look at me. I'm here to see you. What else do you want me to do?"

"Leave." I said coldly, giving him a teary stare. I hate that I get emotionally hurt easily. "You're gonna leave after this visit and I'll get restless nights, crying or hearing voices and seeing double, so what's the point of you being here when you're just gonna leave again?"

"That's what you've been going through at nights?" I nodded, a tear falling on its own and another one. I sat there, letting it happen calmly as I buried my head down deeply. Only tears could be seen dripping off my face and sniffles to stop my running nose.

I heard his chair scrape at the cement and feel his body heat next to me, but I still didn't look up. Feeling one of his arm wrap around my shoulder felt relaxing like it hasn't just been five days but five-hundred years. It was delicate warmth coating me when he tugged me into a loving hug. I missed getting hugs like this as if it's been forever and hugged him back, hiding in his shoulder.

But I shook the soft side off, shoving his arms away from my shoulders and standing up rebelliously. I looked down at him and he looked at me, dazed and unhappy. I don't really care now. "That doesn't matter to you though." I said as I took a couple steps back. "You left and can't help. How my nights and days go won't have to be your worry anymore. You're welcome." after said, I walked away. My nurse wondering why I'm acting this way. Probably thinking this would make me feel relieved and extra glad I got to see Yoongi again.

Like I said, I hate him.

I didn't stop walking until arriving to my bed. I sat on it and examined my actions, regretting them a little, but what I said was true. He'll be here for a couple minutes, leave and I'll still be alone. That'll just hurt worse in my opinion. I'll see him and my hopes will rise, but as time sneaks on us he'll leave and I'll be sad all over again. It'll repeat and I don't want that for myself.

She walked in, looking at me with disappointment. I looked back down at my fiddling fingers after seeing her emotion towards me. When I explain she'll most likely not understand. Then she paced over to take a seat in front of me.

"What was that? You should be happy."

"Did he leave?" I ignored her and hoping he didn't.

"Yes. You don't want to see him?"

I nodded my head. "He'll just leave again."

"I watched you for days looking depressed over him, missing him and he came to see you. You should cherish the littlest bit of time he decides to spend with you. At least I thought you would."

I knew she wouldn't understand. So I ignored her harder, sighing and getting comfortable under the covers. Shuffling into a more comfortable position for my neck on the pillow. I felt her dip in the bed recover flat to her stand. I know she wanted to say something else, but gave up and left.

~~~~~

Hopefully this is better. I'm in a good mood today for some reason and felt like writing. Yay me!