Crazies In Love »YoonMin«

Hate

I hate him, I hate him,I hate him,I hate him,I hate him,I hate him,I hate him,I hate him,I hate him. I hate him so much. After all we've been through, the kisses, my trust, our long hour talks, and our first I love you's. What hurts most is that he's the first one to ever love me so hard. So hard that it was a competition for who loved who more. He actually loved me back the same way I did for him and I thought he would also be the first to never leave me. But he did. Without telling me.

I've finally recovered from the painful situation on the outside. I was crying from the time I woke up to sleeping for about three days. Now, I'm just mad on the inside. I want him to be my punching bag this time. It's his fault I'm grieving so hard. I hate him.

But I miss him. There's nobody I can talk to when I need to. I need him. I want him back. He's only been gone for five days and I'm in a horrible state without him.

Then there was my nurse, saving me from drowning deeper into my thoughts. Her hand flew in front of my face multiple times. I must've blacked out bad. 

"What you thinking about?" she asked while pressing the power button down on the remote, turning the screen from colorful to pitch black. It's dark out and time for me to go to bed. I can feel the sleeping pill kicking in. "I just watched you sit here for two minutes straight staring out the window."

I looked her way as I felt emotions piling up because of her asking. I'm gonna cry again, I can sense it. "I hate him." I'm sure she'll understand who I'm talking about. 

She massaged my hair down, so I could see her clearly. "You miss him?"

"I do." I admitted slowly and quietly. I pulled her into a hug as the tears welled up again, burying my face in her scrubs.

It was just quiet sniffles, whines, and heavy breathing coming from me. She's sweet like she is and pats my hair down as she waits for me to straighten back up, letting me take this boring time of me crying as always. It was terrible on the first day without him. I didn't eat, nap, move, I just stayed in bed and didn't want to get up to do anything, and most of all I cried. Nothing new, I'm always crying because I'm not getting affection like I want it, but getting neglected instead and I'm tired of it. It's repetitive and I fall for it every time.

~~~~~

Another filler. Black Panther was really good especially in 3D. Of course I didn't recycle the glasses, I kept them.