Finding Fenrir (Underworld Chronicles Fanfiction)

Meeting Halfway

Chapter 11

I had nothing more to say.

Everything was over. The best thing I could do now was keep my mouth shut and ignore the voice in my head. I had nothing more that I could offer to Hades or anyone else. If I was just crazy then this fairy tale I'd lived for three days was over. If I was crazy I would go back to Hel. I would try to ignore both her and the voice ever present in the back of my mind.

Are we really going to do this? I heard him ask in a bored tone.

I ignored it.

You aren't crazy, just...haunted. He sounded as though he was coaxing a cat out of a drain pipe. Haunted...by me. I heard him sigh and shivered, clutching my hands tight enough that my fingernails dug into my palms. Stop it. My other half growled. Why must you always hurt yourself?

"Because it shuts you up!" I snarled at myself then shook my fingernails free of my palms and straightened my back. I took a deep breath and shivered as the air came into me. I could feel my newly healed mouth shaking as I let the breath out. I closed my eyes and tried to think of ice and cold.

I didn't care if it made Hades uncomfortable. His comfort was no longer my concern.

Do you know why the cold is so soothing? I heard the "Beast" purr.

Yes. It reminded me of home. I was born in Jotunheim, cradled in the arms of a beautiful giantess.  

Yes, Mother. She was so beautiful. Can you remember?

Yes. I choked, tears stinging my eyes as the memory came. I remembered her smooth white flesh and the deep blue pools of her eyes. I remembered the way her lashes tasted when I licked her face as a young pup. I remembered the pleasure and peace of her hands stroking my fur while she coaxed me to sleep. I wish...I wish I could have held onto her. I wish my sister had known her as she became a woman. I wish she'd been there to soothe my father's madness.

Stop. Don't think about him. Remember Mother. Remember our cold little cottage. Remember the icicles.

I laughed a little. I couldn't help it. I remembered when I would go for walks with Mother into the snow. I would try to eat an icicle and it would stick to my mouth for a moment before I could lick it away. It always made Mother laugh.

"Why are you doing this?" I said in a quiet murmur as I wiped my eyes. "Why are you making me remember?"

Because you need to remember the good as well as the bad. So far, all you remember is some of the bad things that came to us. She was good and loved us all. Remember her smile. Remember how she laughed. Remember the smell of smoke and juniper in her hair.

I took another shaking breath and slowly nodded. Yes, I could remember that. I wanted this. I wanted to remember her and not what became of her. As I got older people would tell me how fearsome she was and I was always fiercely proud to call such a woman my Mother. Angrboða, she-who-brings-sorrow, brought me into the world and taught me to sing.

This. A voice in my head crooned. This is how we become one. We remember the times that we were both strong. Remember the ones that made us strong.

I took another breath, felt the shivering slowly stop.

The ones who made us strong. I thought of my brothers. I felt a brief surge of agreement in the back of my head as Jormungandr's image flashed into my mind. He'd been born as an egg three days before me, then as I let out my first howls he'd broken free of the egg. He'd learned from father, training in magic and histories while I ran through the woods and hunted with Mother. He tried to show me the things that Father taught him. I remembered him curled around me, whispering incantations. I remembered him teaching me how to change from a wolf into a boy. Mother had been delighted to hug us both and Father had looked so proud.

I remembered Sleipnir, our elder brother that I hadn't met until after Mother was gone. I remembered asking him who his mother was and he'd laughed, pointed at our Father and said "Him."

How long did they wait before telling us that story?

"Decades." I laughed. "Father was so embarrassed."

I heard the door click open and hurried to wipe the last of tears from my face. I turned to look and it was Lucifer. What little hope I'd kept withered. They'd sent the nice one who wouldn't hear my thoughts to collect me and send me on my way.

"How are you feeling?" Lucifer asked as he approached.

I said nothing. I ran a hand through my hair and there was no more blood when I pulled it away, showing I'd thoroughly healed.

"Would you like a bath?" Lucifer said and I arched a brow.

I could almost hear "before you go?" at the end of the question. I shrugged. Lucifer gave a deep sigh.

"I see you are already preparing to return home." Lucifer stated and his tone was a bit chilly.

There were so many things I wanted to say but I didn't. I knew what awaited me in Niflheim, Hel's world. She would play her games for approximately an hour before Thor arrived. I sighed. "Is there any way that a bath could possibly make this any better?" I asked.

He said nothing.

"A little blood in my hair isn't going to matter." I said in a quiet grumble. "Is it to be you then? The kind, pretty face that returns me to my owner?"

Lucifer's mouth hardened into a thin line.

I nodded. "Shall we then?" I said, holding out my hand to him.

He looked down at my hand as though he loathed what he was about to do. Finally he made a sound of disgust and took my hand. A heartbeat and a flash of magic later and I was no longer in Hades' clinic, I was in a casino. I frowned. This was not the Asgard I remembered.

"I fought with Hades for a while and he finally conceded that you shouldn't be sent back to your sister or your psychotic grandfather." Lucifer said in a calm voice that was easily heard over the chaotic music, bells, and yells of victory. "My daughter was able to find your father and -"

"What?" I interrupted, staring at him with wide eyes. "No! I cannot see him! Your pantheon is well and good but in mine I am never to see my father!"

Lucifer frowned. "We are hardly well and good, young man." Lucifer said in a growl. "It is possible that he can help you!"

"He is mad!" I snarled at the Lord of Hell, not even thinking about the consequences. "He will try to take this off me so that I may bring an end to my world!" I said, yanking at the collar.

"Yeah, no. Ragnarok was a total lie." Said a smooth voice behind me and I froze.

I turned slowly, my fingers now in a tight hold onto the collar around my neck.

Behind me stood a man, tall and lean, wearing a v-neck green shirt that was a size too small, riding up enough to show some of his stomach, and jeans that hugged his hips just low enough that you could see the dip of his hip-bones into the waistband. He had a long sheet of red hair down his back and piercing green eyes while his mouth seemed forever in a smirk of amusement. At the moment he had his hands on his hips while he looked down at me, being that he was about two inches taller and wearing boots.

"Aww, he's cute." Loki said with a smile, then raised a hand and wiggled his finger at me like he was trying to zero in on me. "So…who the fuck is this?" He asked and I felt my heart plummet into my guts.