Finding Fenrir (Underworld Chronicles Fanfiction)

Father

Chapter 12:

I stared at my father for a long moment. There was no glimmer of recognition, just a growing look of amusement as though the trickster god was enjoying the prank. "No, seriously." He said in a chuckle. "Who is he?" He gasped and brought his hands up to his face in an expression of mock-horror. "By the nine, is it another illegitimate child?" He cried, then grinned at Lucifer like that was the funniest shit he'd ever heard.

I didn't think. I didn't even hear anything around me. I was just moving before I could stop, a scream of rage on my lips as I bashed my fist into Loki's handsome face.

Lucifer didn't even have time to react before I was on top of the redhead, my hands wrapped around his head as I began to squeeze. "Who am I?" I howled as Loki began to struggle, beating at me with his fists. I couldn't feel it, even when he pounded his fists against my elbows and forearms in an attempt to loosen my hold. "Who the fuck are YOU?" I growled at him as I squeezed harder. "An absent father? A liar? I gave up everything for you!"

"Fenrir!" I heard Lucifer yelling as he tried to pry my hands away from Loki's head. I was shaking, tears streaming down my face.

"I have always loved you!" I screamed at Loki, shaking him by his head. "Even when you weren't there...I loved you!" I sobbed and let him go, shoving his head down to crack against the tile floor. "I didn't believe them when they said you left me...I didn't." I sobbed again and Loki scrambled away from me, panting in panic.

"What the fuck, Lucifer?" Loki snarled, baring is fangs. "You called me to meet you so this maniac could try to crack my skull open?"

I took a shaking breath, raising my face up so that I was staring at the mirrored ceiling. I felt Lucifer's hand on my shoulder as the archangel sat next to me. After a moment I lowered my head, looking at the cracked tile as my vision blurred with more tears. My chest was tight with pain. "Please...please take me to Hel, now." I looked up at Lucifer then, taking a deep shaky breath. "Anything she has for me is better than this."

"Hel?" Loki asked in a scoff. "What does she have to do with this?"

I covered my ears. I wanted him to stop talking. I wanted to shove my fist into his mouth. There was some part of me that wondered if it was the Other in my head that wanted to hurt him, but for once it didn't matter. I wanted him to hurt as much as he'd hurt me. If my Other also wanted to break Loki in half, the feeling was momentarily mutual.

He forgot us. Said a quiet voice in my head, and it seemed far away. Maybe it was easier to forget us than come to terms with all of it.

He had trouble coming to terms? In a way I understood it, being that I seem to have created a whole other entity as a way to forget all of the pain in the past, but I still felt anger and hurt coil up my spine.

"Hel has been keeping your son as a slave." Lucifer informed the trickster god from next to me.

For a while all I could hear was the sounds of the casino and some excited chatter from the onlookers. "Bullshit, she wouldn't do that. Even if the kid was a younger half-sibling."

I took a deep shaking breath and fought the urge to launch at him again. "I saw her born!" I said in a sob, turning my eyes to Loki. "I was still a pup but I can remember! I remember the smile on my mother's face as she stroked her fingers over Hel's face!" Loki was looking at me like I was a ghost now, his green eyes wide in shock. I met his eyes with my own, still unable to stop the shudder in my breath or the tears burning down my cheeks. "You truly don't remember me, faðir?"

He moved forward slowly, reaching out with one trembling hand toward me. "F-Fenrir?" Loki whispered, and I sobbed quietly again, nodding as I looked back down. "Fenrir!" Loki cried out and I felt his arms pull me up against him, crushing my face against his shoulder.

I made a sound like a moan of relief and agony, my arms wrapping around him and squeezing tight. I felt his hand on the back of my head, stroking my hair as he made quiet shushing sounds. "Shh, minn mogr, it's alright now...." My boy...he always called me that. It brought a wave of relief pouring through my body and I sagged against him, nuzzling into his shoulder. He pulled back and his next question was to the man sitting just behind us now. "What the fuck has happened to him? My boy wasn't this small even as a cub! And his eyes! Who did this to him?"

"I don't think your daughter is solely to blame but she had a hand in it." Lucifer said calmly. "Where do you think he's been this whole time?"

I felt Loki shake his head. "I didn't know. I was separated from him after Thor...took Jor." I swallowed, squeezing him a little tighter. "I was told that he'd been bound and that if I went near him he would suffer...so I stayed away. Things only got worse for our family from there." He took a deep breath. Worse was a pretty broad understatement for what happened to us. "I heard that Hel had taken her brother under her wing and I felt better. I thought that surely his sister would take proper care of him!" He pulled my head away from his shoulder and brushed my hair out of my face before carefully wiping away my tears.

"She's kept him as her slave." Lucifer informed as I seemed to be mute once again. "I don't think she's overtly tortured him like Thor and Odin did, but he's clearly been neglected."

Loki's face darkened into a frown as he nodded while stroking my face. I knew that I shouldn't be here. I knew what would happen. "T-Th-Thor will come." I stammered, sniffing as reached up to wipe some of the tears as well.

"Let him." Loki said calmly, all amusement having left his face. "If he wants Ragnarok, I'll give him Ragnarok."