Finding Fenrir (Underworld Chronicles Fanfiction)

Diagnosis

Chapter 13:

My father, in his infinite wisdom, had just told me he was going to commit mass genocide as revenge for all I'd suffered. In a way it was sweet. 

I took a deep breath and pulled back from Loki, putting myself at arm's length. "No, Pabbi." I said, and he stared at me in confusion. "Yes, what they did was wrong...but not all of Asgard was to blame."

"What?" both Loki and the voice in my head said in a scoff of disbelief. "They ignored what was happening!" Loki said, reaching out to touch my face again. "They watched as we all were tortured...as your brother was taken into captivity and the youngest was murdered! For what? Ragnarok was a lie!" His hand slid to cup the back of my neck as he pressed his forehead to mine. "There was no prophecy, Odin made that shit up as a way to keep me off the throne of Jotunheim. He couldn't bear the thought that he'd lived beside the man who would become the greatest threat to him."

I shivered. The words rang with truth, as they always did with my father. He always said, The best lies are the ones that carry a bit of truth. I sighed, shaking my head even as his brow was against mine. "Faðir, there are millions of people that live in Asgard. I cannot justify their deaths because of the actions of their king. And you've always told me to never believe words at face-value. How can I know that Ragnarok is a false-prophecy?"

"If one plans to overthrow a king there will be innocents caught in the middle." Loki said calmly as he pulled his face from mine, then smiled, reaching over to give my shoulder a rough pat. "And I'm proud that you question words. But no worries, my child, I learned about Odin's falsehood from the Norn Witches themselves. They whispered truths to me as we sat at the roots of Yggdrasil. True, I had to sacrifice time and probably some sanity to get a word out of them, but it was worth it!" He said the last emphatically, shaking one finger wildly to indicate the validity of his point. "Besides, Asgard will be the better for it!"

"Better for it." I repeated, less enthusiastically, shaking my head as I wiped a hand down my face. "They will have no one to lead them. Warriors with no general." Loki was nodding, a serious look on his face as he considered what would happen. "Asgard will be in chaos. There will be a civil war to see who is strong enough to take the throne or another realm will easily overtake it to gain its riches." More nodding. "What will you do if there is no one left to take the throne? You don't want it." I told my father and he scoffed.

"Hell no. I'd rather sit on a spear." Loki answered.

"Then who will lead?" I asked and Loki made a careless sweep of his hand at the side of his face like he was shooing away a fly.

"I don't care who leads them. They aren't my problem. They can all stir themselves into a big pile of shit for all I care." I laughed, helplessly amused at my father's callousness. I felt him lean in close to me again and quietly murmur, "Fenrir...look at what they did to us." I felt the laugh catch in my throat and shivered, hugging my arms around myself. "We did nothing wrong. But somehow all of Asgard was keen to watch the royal family obliterate us. Why should we care what happens to them?" Loki said at last, his hand on my shoulder as he looked at me earnestly.

"I know I shouldn't!" I snapped before I could stop the words. "I know. But Faðir...it must end somewhere. At some point all of the pain and misery must end somewhere. I choose to let it end with me. It isn't a great end, there will still be pain and sadness, but I will not have the blood of an entire realm on my hands."

Loki stared at me for what seemed like forever. His green eyes were wide, his mouth slightly open in an expression of disbelief that bordered on horror. When he finally spoke it was in a whisper that I barely heard past the noise of the casino. "What have they done to you?"