I can't love you

Chapter 11

I sat home alone in my room. Joseph was coming over soon. He said he was gonna tell me something. Hm.. I wonder what...

"Zoe! Your boyfriend is here!" My mom suddenly called from downstairs. I ran downstairs. Joseph was in the living room. He was greeting Kjell Erik while he was there, waiting for me.

"Hey" I said because he didn't notice me. Joseph turned around. "Hi" He said, but seemed very.. I don't know.. Disappointed?..

"What is it?" I asked softly, but then I immediately noticed the boys who was sitting on the couch and listening to our conversation.. I drag Joseph upstairs, to my room.

"Joseph... What is it?" I asked seriously. He sighed a bit. "Zoe.. I.." I stared nervous at him. 'Continue, continue!!' I said to myself. He took a deep breath and continued. "I don't think we can do this anymore"

I looked scared at him. No! He did not say?...

"I'm breaking up with you, Zoe"

Dang, he said it.

"W.. what do you mean? Joseph, you and me are meant for each other!! You can't do this!!" But he had already decided. And before he left the room, he whispered "I'm sorry"

I fell down at my bed. Tears started rolling down my cheeks. Why? Is it something wrong with me?

We always said "It's just you and me. Together. Forever" It was even him who made it up! But that was all just a lie.. He fuckin lied to me!

I cried all my tears out. Then some thoughts came up in my mind. What if I....

-

I just found a razor. Okey, just do it. Some few cuts are nothing. This could be the first time I cut myself, and probably the last. It's not like I want to do this every day, or?..

I put the razor on my bare skin at my wrist. This is what I deserve. Everyone hates me! That's probably why Marcus hasn't spoke to me lately..

Well, It's now or never. I prefer now.

Slowly I started making a deep, big cut. I thought the first one could be the worst. Because.. well, like I said, that's what I deserve.

Blood started streaming everywhere. Unlucky, I was so smart to mud a bit on the floors carpet. Damn, Zoe!! Wow.....

And then I had to take a break from the cutting. I had to wash it, quick.

First, I had to take a piece of tissue on my wrist because I don't wanted to mud more. I also had to use a lot of wipes to wash the blood of the carpet, which was pretty hard. But I think I got the most away. 

After I was finished washing the carpet, I had to wash the razor of course. It was full of blood, but I wiped it off quickly. Then, when the blood from my wrist didn't unleashed more blood, I throw the tissue in the garbage. Suddenly, right after I had cleaned up, someone knocked on the door. I immediately ran to my cabinet and found a hoodie I could wear to cover for my wrist.

The person came in. Yay.. It's Marcus..

"Hi... Um, can I come in?" He asked quietly. I sighed. "Well, you're already standing in my room so" he laughed, but it was obviously fake.

"Look, I know I might have been a bit.. What can I say.. quiet? Yea.. I have been a bit quiet. And.... I'm really sorry! I have no idea why I di... Wait. What is that?" He stopped in the middle of his sentence. He was pointing at the carpet. Fuuuuuck.

"Uhm, that? Oh ehhhh" I didn't find something to say. But what can I say?? It's blood! Well, maybe I can tell him I'm on my period? That could be smart...

"Zoe, is that blood?" Marcus asked dead seriously. "I got my period, Marcus!" Marcus startled a bit. Then he started to laugh. Again, it was reeeally fake! "Heh, I'm sorry then" he immediately said and started blushing.

After an awkward long moment, Marcus suddenly got serious. Something was catching his eyes. I looked behind me. Where he was looking. Oh no. The razor!

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More?
703 words✔️
(Eyy, long chapter tho;)) )

Ughhhhh, school started today! Yay, so fun!! *not*

(sorry if the cutting scene was too much. I know there's a lot of people doing self harm because they thinks their fat, ugly, and yea.. all that negative stuff... But, you're not! EVERYONE is special in their own ways. Don't forget that!!💗)

DON'T FORGET TO VOTE AND COMMENT💛

~🍌Camilla