Gunderkeen one-shots

Gunderkeen Crashes into a Brick Wall (Metaphorically)

(Painful chapter ahead)
Mallory's POV:
Halfborn and I had been arguing more bitter and often then usual.
"Mallory would you just shut up no body cares." Halfborn bellowed at me as I was describing a story of how I had taken down a lindworm.
"No one asked you oaf!" I fire back
"Well I speak for everyone."
"Not, who would appoint you as spoke man."
"Well better me then you!"
"And why would you of all people be better?"
"I've got more brains in a finger then you do in your entire body."
"You've got the mental state of a blade of grass, stupid!"
"Well you've got one of dirt, at least grass can do something."
"Yeah, get stepped on!"
"That's enough!" T.J. yells.
Halfborn rolls his eyes and heads for the library. I stick my tongue out to his back.
"What's wrong with you two?" T.J. asks as I walk away. "What's wrong is that oaf, I can't stand him!"
"Seriously, you've guys been friends for decades and dating for months."
"That doesn't mean anything." I say and stomp to my room, slamming the door shut.
I sigh and lean against the door. "Idiots."
The next day we were all at breakfast, we had about a week before we set sail. "Halfborn would you not eat like a pig!" I say to the berserker who is shoving a omelette in his face.
"Would you not talk like a goat."
Magnus and T.J. roll their eyes. "Oaf."
"Irish Vixen."
"Idiot Berserker."
We bickered for a good ten minuets before we had to go battle. There we also argued.
"You almost hit me stupid!"
"Watch that sword woman!"
"Don't call me woman, oaf!"
"Would you two stop it!" Magnus yelled.
"Bug off Beantown." I say, deflecting a blow.
That night Halfborn were bickering that evening in his room.
"Idiot."
"That's all you got in that empty, redheaded head of yours, short words, that match your height?"
"Well your big, fat head is filled with a whole lot of stupidity!"
"Well this big head, thinks very little of you!"
"Well I think just about nothing of you!"
"You're pathetic!"
"You know what, I'm through with this! I'm through with us!" My face grew more and more red with each word.
"Fine by me, I can't stand you for another moment!"
"Good! I dread having to spend weeks in a boat with the likes of you." I yell slamming the door behind me, marching to my room. I shut my door behind me, sinking to the floor I start to sob.
Halfborn's POV:
I blink, comprehending what just happened. The tears came and I couldn't go to my girlfriend, oh that's right I didn't have one anymore. That hit me in the chest hard.
I laid down on my bed, crying and reflecting.