Gunderkeen one-shots

Kicked out of Restaurants and Stealing Bikes

Halfborn's POV:

Mallory and I were currently on our twentieth, or something like that, official date. We had finished dinner at a restaurant, it had been nothing to fancy, but nice enough that they had mint candies for you after you ate. We were now, walking leisurely towards the hotel, I was sucking on my mint contently. My date was in the middle of ranting about a rude couple who had been seated next to us.

The couple had a few things to say about our ages, my beard, our 'disgusting teen appearances', and that we were 'too young for dating'. The last comment had made my scoff, I was at least forty times their age, and Mallory was in her sixties and had probably twenty years on them.

My hot-headed girlfriend had been attempting to hide her annoyance all evening, but just as we were waiting for the waitress to come back with our change the couple had one last thing to say before we were in the clear.

"Honestly, if they're going to be in public, at least wash themselves. They look like Alaskan bush people, have the intelligence of them."

My girlfriend bit her lip, narrowed her eyes, and blew up. She pushed her chair back and turned to face the rude couple.

"Perhaps you shouldn't go out in public until you stuff a few manors into those fat heads of yours." I had bursted out laughing behind her, and the couple turned their apuled gazes to me, I sipped my water, but kept the smirk on my face.

"You've made your comments, now I'll make mine." This was going to be good, I all but put my feet up on the table as I settled in for the show.

"Both your hair is receding, and thinning, probably trying to get away from their annoying, fat, empty heads they occupy, anyone can see that, so stop trying to distract them with those ridiculous earrings and tie. It's not a competition to see who's earlobes are sagging the lowest. " The woman had touched her earrings, which were in fact so large they were weighing down her earlobes. The man's tie had so many different colored stripes it hurt to look at, though he seemed to concerned about what other people were hearing Mallory's speech.

The waitress came by and Mallory snatched the change away from her, giving her back a twenty. Mallory then began to make her way to the door. I stood, took our mints from the waitress and followed the redhead.

"And your husband is cheating on you!" My girlfriend called over her shoulder before we exited the restaurant, the man's face was beat red and he had broken out into a sweat.

Back to the present, I couldn't help but smile at my ranting girlfriend.

" We are never going to be allowed back there." I said.

"The food wasn't that great anyways." My still slightly steaming girlfriend said.

"How'd you know he was cheating on her?" I finally asked, Mallory ceased her ranting to smirk in pride.

"I have a PHD in human psychology." She said in a horrible imitation of me.

"I sound nothing like that." I say, she just laughs.

"I heard him talking on the phone outside the bathrooms. He smelt like smoke, and a man like that only smokes when he's nervous. He had been talking about breaking the bad news to her soon, to his 'baby' on the phone." She made a gagging face.

"That could have been out of context." I point out.

"Probably, but it will at least strain their relationship a bit." Mallory shrugged and smiled wickedly.

"You're a terrible person, you know that?"

"Yepp-" Mallory stopped walking to stare at a motorcycle bike. It wasn't anything fancy, it had a black body with silver parts, two helmets were strapped to the backseat. I know nothing about motorcycles, I was long dead before they were even an idea.

"The keys aren't in it." I pointed out as Mallory was checking the allies for an owner. We were in an industrial part of Boston, so the person hadn't parked their bike in front of an apartment, to be used to ride to work the next morning.

"Like that's an issue." Mallory scoffed, a mischievous gleam in her green eyes.

"Just a little joy ride, afterwards we return it right here." Mallory said as she began to metal with the starter. When the engine roared to life, she tossed me a helmet, strapped one on herself and took the driver's seat.

"I'm pretty sure, the guy is supposed to drive. I'm not sitting in the back."

"Get on or get left behind. Besides you don't even know how to ride. Just be happy there isn't a little sidecar for you." She gave me a vicious glare and I put on my helmet and hopped on the back. I position my hands loseley on the handles.

Without warning Mallory took off down the late-night streets of Boston at an illegal speed. I cried out in surprise and gave her the berserker death grip with my arms around her waist. The redhead let out a laugh and a whoop as we accelerate towards our deaths.

We speed past empty streets, weave through light traffic, and do donuts in parking lots. We turn out of the city and roll around on the grass with our lips locked until dawn approaches.

The city is nearly empty and the purple shades of dawn paint the sky as the stars recede upwards. We return the nearly empty on gas bike to it's original spot, leaving a note of apology to the owner. Then we walked back to the hotel, smiling, laughing, and exhausted.

"It's past your curfew." TJ scolded as we made our way to our separate rooms.

"Put a sock in it, Jefferson." Mallory hisses at TJ before she closes her room door quietly.

"Don't look at me." I said, retreating to my own room.

"I want answers in the morning!" TJ hisses.

A/N

Figured we could use a happy chapter after that pervious tissue fest. Please request and have a great day!