Gunderkeen one-shots

April Fools

Mallory's POV:
Today was the day I dreaded and loved the most, April Fools. The first of April had rolled around and I needed to be on my toes at all times if I wanted to get through the day with minimal dying.
I had made sure to lock my door and put a nice bucket of stink bombs on top of it for good measure the night before. Now I was getting dressed and deciding on the best way to exit my room.
After a bit of listening and staring at the door I removed by bucket of stick and unlocked her door.
Gingerly, I picked up one of the stink-bombs and rolled it out the door.
I stuck my head out the door after moments of silence. Nothing. An empty hallway. Or so it seems.
Without moving much further I checked to the sides and straight ahead then above me. Bingo. An axe was tied to a string and as I followed the clear string I saw it was a trip wire a few feet in front of my door.
"Ah, my little morons. You try, but not hard enough." I smirk and step over the wire.
As I place my foot down something is off. The floor had made a clicking sound. Realization hit me and I rolled away from the spot.
Where I had stood a pink and green glitter bomb had gone off. Pink and green plus axe equals Halfborn and Alex were in cahoots.
Thankfully TJ and I had a agreement as well. As far as I knew, poor Beantown was going to get caught in the crosshairs. This was going to be an interesting day.
I carefully picked my way over to the lounge. Instead of grabbing my normal cinnamon roll, as Gunderson and Fierro would expect, I grabbed an apple, taking Alex's usual seat at the table. I reluctantly took a bite of apple. Look what they have done, gotten me to eat fruit!
Alex walked in, wearing a lovely blue mop of hair.
"Nice color for you, Fierro." I say, biting into my apple which began to taste much more satisfying.
"Very funny, Keen." She stated dryly.
Suddenly a yelp rang out followed by a thud followed me a victory bite from me.
There was some yelling and TJ and Halfborn stomped in. Crude drawings had been added to TJ's flint above his eye.
Halfborn had duct tape covering his beard, head and arms. My own doing, if he tried to rip it off, his hair and a few skin cells would go with it.
I laughed manically at the sight before me.
Next Magnus came in looking very confused as amused at the spectacle.
        "Okay, Keen." Halfborn said walking over to me. "Your turn."
      "Excuse me?" I ask in confusion. I had been so careful, what had I missed? Crap. The chair I was sitting in.
       I swore and tried to get out of the chair, I was stuck. Halfborn tied my arms and legs down and he, along with Alex paraded me into the elevator.
     Thrashing and cursing at them, my face was red and my hair flew into my face.
         "Sorry, babe." I snapped at him and he chuckled. Next thing I know we stepped into the elevator and I was flipped upside down.
       "The Hel! Damn you both! And this chair! And the elevator!" I cried. The blasted chair was now attached to the ceiling of the elevator, upside down.
        I felt my blood rushing to my head, though my face was already red from anger.
      "Ah, Mallory. You were good." Alex smirked at me. "But not good enough." Halfborn and her fist-bumped. They stepped out of the elevator and the doors closed as my new least favorite people waved.
        My curses were silenced and the elevator moved down to pick up a passenger.
      The doors opened and Erik looked up at me.
"Hey, get me down here. Would ya?" I asked. He ignored me, whistling to the music that came from the speaker.
        This is how I spent my day, the elevator went up and down picking up new people. Some would laugh. Some would poke at me, when this happened by the time the doors opened again their ears were bleeding and they watched their back the rest of the day.
       One girl had the audacity to take a sharpie and silly string to my head. I was going to cut off all her limbs on the battlefield.
       If that wasn't bad enough, Floor 19 would ride as well. Halfborn would tickle me or tug my silly string hair.
       Alex and TJ would mock me. Magnus seemed uncomfortable with me hanging from the ceiling as he rode down to meet his cousin.
       Finally dinner came around and a kind old lady came and cut me down. I thanked her and set after Alex and Halfborn.
——————- timeskip
Mallory's POV:
        I woke up on April second to the  lovely sound of my existence being cursed.

Halfborn's POV:
      The tape on my hair had been painfully taken off last night and regrown. However I was strapped to the ceiling of the mess hall with pigtails in my hair and beard. I was chained to a heavy chair above my fellow warriors.
      Next to me, Fierro was in the same state. And equally, if not more furious then I was.
       Food was thrown at us, people snickered and laughed, names were remembered and mentally written down for future reference.
      The Irish Vixen herself came in smirking and tossing a piece of meat at me. I glared at her as Alex cursed.
      Mallory didn't say anything only smirk, waved and piled her plate to eat.
      The rest of the day was a pain. Finally Hudding came,  and not so carefully, let us down.
        "You going to get her back?" Alex asked as we entered the elevator, sore and covered in food. I ripped the bows out of my hair in disgust.
      "I'll just put some of this on her." I say, wiping some mead off my face.
      "Magnus has something planned, I'll join him." The green hair girl replied.
       The elevator opened and I walked into Mallory's room. I peeled off my food soaked and crusted shirt and hopped into bed with te sleeping Mallory Keen.
        "Nope, you're not sleeping here tonight." She says, sitting up and covering her nose. "You stink!"
        "And who's fault is that?" I counter, not moving from her bed.
       "Get up, Oaf." She says, trying to pushing me off. Mallory tries in vein to shove me off her bed.
       "At least go shower." She sighs in defeat.
      "Fine." I say getting up, and tossing a piece of lettuce at her. I hear her groan and mutter about food in her sheets.
       I wash my face and wipe off my pants. When I was done I went back to my girlfriend who had fallen asleep again.
        Laying down next to her I relaxed and smiled. After a bit I fell into a nice slumber.
         I woke up to Mallory's cursing. Opening my eyes I see thousands of plastic cows in the room. They were lined in neat rows on the floor. Glued to the walls, and ceiling.
"What the-" Mallory said, getting up and trying to move the cows. They were glued on tight.
       "Have fun, with your big feet." She said has she carefully stepped around the cows.
       "Why can't you just step-" I layer a foot in a cow and found it razor sharp.
       "Chase! Fierro!" I roared.
     Cows had covered the entire section of Floor 19, I mean literally everywhere The next few days, the cows slowly went away. One by one.
        Though decades later a razor sharp cow could be found on Floor 19 if you looked.

A/N
      Hey fellow fan-humans! Could use some requests if you have some. Thanks and stay insane!