In My Remains

Do I follow my instincts blindly?

A/N: Yeah.... Ready for another sad chapter with another oopsies? xD Sooooorry. I love my drama ;)

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"Hey", Mike said glancing over his shoulder.

It was yet again another beautiful morning that didn't seem so beautiful to them. He was making the breakfast as usual and Brad had woken up and now was standing in the doorway. Yesterday, Mike had been in some different zone the rest of the day, thinking how wrong it all was. And then he couldn't sleep cause his mind had traveled back to how Brad looked when he came back. He knew he had to call Elisa and talk to her cause she was probably just as shocked as they were but he was so angry that he didn't want to.

The other thing was that he knew he had to talk with Brad. Not that he would ask about the 'you love me' -thing he had said but generally at least try to help more somehow. Maybe Brad would remember if they would talk about it. Or what if he already did but he felt like he couldn't tell it? Which meant he needed to call the drummer again.

"Hey", Brad answered causing Mike almost flip his coffee cup on the floor.

"Did you sleep well?", he asked but got now only a shrug back.

The half Asian nodded kicking himself inwardly. All what happened the day before came rushing in his mind and he couldn't believe he had blurted 'baby'. The word could really mean anything but on the other hand if Brad already had heard the conversation he had had back then with Rob that was just one more thing to make sure he had fucked up. Badly. He knew he couldn't fix this. The guitarist was already broken and now he had thrown a curveball at him. Like he didn't have plenty of stuff to think already.

And today was the day he would take the stitches off. Which meant also shower day. Another problem was that the wound care stuff was at Elisa's and he needed to pick them up first. But he didn't want to see the woman. Yes they had to talk, but thinking about seeing him face to face after what had happened made his stomach turn.

"Here", he placed a plate of french toasts in front of the guitarist and was surprised to see something that almost looked like a smile tug his lip.

Then he handed him the coffee cup and joined to the table digging down to his own toasts. Mike stared at him while Brad cut a piece by piece finishing again half of what was on the plate. Then he grabbed his coffee cup and went to sat on the couch. Mike sighed trying to do it as silently as possible. He didn't want to be impatient. He didn't want to be that person to say that Brad had to get his 'shit together' cause he knew it wouldn't work that way. But even so he found himself thinking what if Brad wouldn't get better? What if he wouldn't heal from the inside? What if there was something that was preventing him from healing? That was beyond scary and he just wanted to push the thought aside instantly as it hit his head once again.

"Brad hey... Today is the day when we can take the stitches of. I'll have to check them before but... Yeah. I need to pick up the stuff from Elisa first. You can wait here, it won't take long", he said then clearing up the table.

The guitarist stayed still and Mike shook his head while he poured another cup of coffee to himself. Then he put down the notepad in front of Brad with the pen and opened the TV.

"I would like you to try. I know you probably don't want to. But... Think about the day. What is the last thing you remember? Any sounds perhaps. Or smells? Even if... the person doesn't get caught I think it would help you to deal with it", he said trying to encourage the skinny man.

Brad stared at him thinking. He wasn't sure at all where to even start or should he even. But he took the pen and the pad and leaned to the emcee waiting for the words to come. Mike decided to give him some space and concentrated to the TV. He heard the pen on the paper but didn't turn his head from the screen thinking it would probably be best. After a while Brad placed his empty coffee cup on the table and the notepad to Mike's lap. The emcee glanced at him and when Brad leaned back to him he started to read.