In My Remains

I remembered black skies

A/N: Sorry for the late update. Yes, we can totally blame Mike again! What do you think about the new song? :) Next one for me to write is 'Reading My Eyes'. Oh wait, warning for the smut. Not too bad though, lol. 

Enjoy!

-------

"Brad...", Mike started dropping his phone on the table and sitting beside him.

The other rolled his eyes knowing what was coming.

"I can see something bothers you. Try to talk okay?" the half Asian sighed.

He was unsure how to deal with the situation. Brad was still disappearing in his thoughts from time to time. Mike thought they had gotten through the worst. The guy was caught and hopefully sentenced. And then the situation with Elisa, which had went better than Mike had thought. Or ever even wished. Which resulted in this awkwardness when everything was basically fine but still nothing was.

"You know... They are just words. Find a proper word and say it. Then another to fit the first and add it there. Soon you'll have a sentence. Or not, it doesn't matter. It's just me. You know you can talk to me", he continued carefully pulling Brad in his arms.

Brad groaned frustrated that he felt like he couldn't get the words out. But he decided to try anyway. Cause it had worked last time too.

"I want to... continue. With our lives, with what we are supposed to be doing... All that. To just forget it again. I know there is still things to do, and I can't do it yet. That annoys me. Cause I can push it away but I have to dig it up again for the police. I don't even know how does that thing going to be handled. Do I have to be there during the trial? What if we are already on tour? Or rather hopefully are. What if... Why the fuck this is so complicated?" the guitarist explained and Mike was rather relieved that they were thinking similarly.

"And... I'm still scared you know? Part of me doesn't want to sleep cause I wait for another attack. When does that end? What about touring then? I haven't... left the house in long time and I can't even imagine what it must be when we go new places and meet new people."

Mike let the other press harder against himself as he sighed compassionately. "I get it. And I will be there. I don't think even a second that there is some group trying to get you lifeless, but I'll still protect you."

"You can't always be there. You know that. And how do you protect me when the fear is inside my head? I don't believe that I am targeted either but still my brains tell me I should remain cautious. Cause if something happens I can act quicker when I am prepared. But it's fucking exhausting. Even now, here. I know I am safe but still my mind wanders to the attack and thinking 'what if'. So... What about then during touring? How the hell I am supposed to stay calm in hotels and tour bus? What if... some fan grabs me and I freak out?" Brad mumbled frowning.

"God you worry way too much. Are you sure you don't want to see a therapist? Maybe they could help you how to deal with it? You know the feelings. I have no idea how it works really but... would it be possible to try?" Mike suggested worried that he wasn't enough. And worried that Brad wouldn't like the idea.

"I don't know... I think I can manage now. Maybe... think about it again if I can't? Spilling my guts to some stranger... Sounds weird", the other said.

"Speaking of talking to strangers. Should we... talk with the guys? We should, I don't know why I even asked it."

"About....", Brad frowned feeling he was done with talking.

"Well... About Elisa. They were so worried... well Chester was worried. Yeah, I'll call. See if they are available. Oh and I need to make you the appointment for the cast removal too. It's already next week", the half Asian said reaching for his phone.