In My Remains

Tell me I'm forgiven, tonight

A/N: Hello lovelies! I'm sorry I am late with the update. Sometimes adulting surprises me o.O If you read my other stories 'Reading My Eyes' is my next one to write.

Enjoy!

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When Mike woke up the next day he felt like an idiot. Cause he was an idiot. He had freaked out over nothing. It could have been something, but he was absolutely sure that it hadn't been. And Brad, poor Brad, had to deal with his hissy fit when the day should have been all about Brad. Well technically it was his day anyway, cause Mike had been jealous over him and not over anyone else.

Sighing heavily he lifted his arm and raked his fingers through the short curls that were finally cut to his liking. The grey hairs that had grown just so suddenly suited Brad better than well, making him even more handsome than he had been before. Mike felt his heart jolt.

"I'm a fucking idiot", he mumbled when he noticed Brad shift and open his eyes slowly.

"Yeah. Well... you are", Brad muttered.

"I'm sorry Brad. Honestly, I am. I don't know how I just... I can't explain it. Or justify. I can't", the other felt horrible. Brad was there, still, but he really had all reasons to leave.

"Listen to me for a while. I understand. I told you that before. I get that you're jealous. But you can't keep doing that. It breaks my heart. You should trust me Mike. By now you should know that I wouldn't just... What the hell were you even thinking?! That I would just leave with him? Huh? That I would just throw all we have away?" Brad started calmly but then started to get mad.

The emcee listened, ashamed. Sad and afraid. "I really don't know. He there... He was so close to you. And then I just imagined you two like... It just hit me. I couldn't stop it. It hit me way harder than I had ever thought it could. So I ran. Cause I was too scared... ashamed to deal with it properly."

"See. That's the problem. You were overthinking. And overreacting. I can't live like that. Scared that you get afraid. That you start to second guess everything that I do. I can't Mike. I can't do that", Brad mumbled causing the other gasp in fear.

"You... You're ending this?"

"No. But you are, if you don't stop it. Me and him are history, but I can't erase it. So, if he wants to talk with me he can. You can't prevent it from happening. You can't control everything around you, even though I know you want to", Brad stroked his cheek softly.

"Fuck...", Mike bit down to his lip. It hurt so much to let Brad down, but even then the voice in the back of his mind wasn't giving up. But he was going to fight back. He wouldn't want to lose Brad over this.

"So... Lorenzo helped you home?" he cleared his throat. He noticed Brad's jean jacket was on the floor. Mike's favorite jacket. Next to it were the shoes, and a long sleeved black shirt, like he had been in hurry to get into the bed. He was still wearing his jeans and a blue t-shirt.

Brad read his mind and sighed smiling. "I left when I could. Lorenzo came to me instantly, but Chester explained it further."

The emcee snaked his arm around Brad's skinny waist, just wanting to feel him against himself. Closing his eyes he nuzzled the neck causing Brad to sigh again.

"I still don't... Mike we were talking. Just talking. You could see even see us through the glass. Why is it so hard for you to let go and trust?"

He hated that Mike did this. And that he did it to himself mostly. Cause it would eventually ruin him.