Cardiac Arrest (Ereri/Riren AU) (Death Note AU) (L!Levi x Kira!Eren) (COMPLETED)

Humanely Inhumane

Levi

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS SUICIDE, SELF HARM. THIS CHAPTER GETS REALLY HARSH, SO IF YOU ARE AT ANY SORT OF RISK DO NOT READ IT. ARI OR I WILL BRIEF YOU OF WHAT HAPPENS, SO DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT RISKING YOUR MENTAL OR PHYSICAL STATE FOR A FIC. IT IS NOT AS IMPORTANT AS YOU.

I was cross-legged on my bed, my back against the headboard and my mind somewhere I wish I could find. Despite what I usually thought, this was one of the times I wished I could be asleep, but my body wouldn't allow it. It wasn't dirty, I was cross-legged, so why couldn't I think?

Well, saying I couldn't think wouldn't be the best way to phrase it. I couldn't think straight, to be specific. I couldn't pinpoint one certain thought no matter how hard I tried. There were hundreds of jumbled voices layering over each other throughout my mind, all of them trying to outdo the others. I didn't know which to listen to, or how to decipher what each was screaming.

Then I remembered the promise I made with Eren.

"If I ever stop being a detective, let's start a family 'or some shit'."

"Yeah. Lets."

I knew part of me wanted to quit being a detective and just live my life freely. I knew Levi wanted to, but L wouldn't allow it. I had a case to finish, and a dangerous one at that. I had to take down Kira before any of this could happen. I had to be the best at my job, and be the best of the two of us.

But Eren could be Kira.

Maybe that was my problem. Maybe that's what's holding me back. Maybe it was emotions that were holding me back, restricting me from accessing the parts of my mind I used to be able to access, stopping me from thinking. Maybe it wasn't not dirt, or how I sat.

Maybe it's people.

——

Just do it.

Klara was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee as she listened to her voicemails, a smile on her face as she did so.

You can do it.

The brunette turned, and upon seeing me raised a hand in greeting. "Oh, hey Le-"

"Klara." I cut her off. "Get out of my hotel."

She laughed awkwardly, "What?" Her eyebrows furrowed, "Levi, did I do something wro-"

"Get out." I said firmly.

"I'm being serious, if I did something you just need to tell me."

"Just leave."

The female put down her cup of coffee, walking towards me. "Look, if you're trying to keep me safe again, you shouldn't even try. I'm not leaving you."

I'm sorry, Klara. You can't stay here.

I clicked my tongue. "When will you get the fucking message?" I raised my voice, "I don't want you around here, okay? You're annoying and obnoxious, and the only way you'll leave is if I tell you flat out. Do you want to go, or do I need to do this the hard way?"

"Levi, come on." There was doubt in Klara's eyes as she reached a hand out.

I slapped it away. "I'm not fucking trying to keep you safe." I looked up to meet her eyes, knowing that there was no turning back anymore. "Your voice is aggravating. You smile at the worst times and make everybody believe you don't care. You ran away from France because you're too much of an attention seeker to stay with a family who doesn't listen to you. That's the reason you came back to me, because with Izzy and Farlan gone, I'm the only other person who'll give you the attention you crave." Tears were forming in the brunette's eyes as I continued to list things, purely because I knew they were the things that'd hurt her. "Isn't that the reason you're with Dustin? Because he's too nice to push you away?"