Stumbling Upon This Thing Called Love

{Chapter 3} ~Zayn~

"What do you think? Too much cologne?" I ask Liam in my house the next day. I have a lunch date with my long time girlfriend Perrie and want to look my best. Not that that's hard. 

"Nah, just right. Are you done now? I swear, Perrie probably didn't take this long to get ready," Liam rolls his eyes in exasperation when he sees me checking my hair once again.

"Okay, I'm going to leave now Zayn. I have go see my own significant other," He's referring to Danielle Peazer, a girl he's been dating since our days on the X Factor. She had light brown skin and hair like Cher and we all thought she was very good for Liam, the same way Eleanor is the only one who can get Louis to act his age sometimes.

"Okay, I'll see you later then," We head outside to our separate cars and speed off to our destinations. The trip isn't a long one and I get to the restaurant in no time.

I guess it's what girls would call chic, with it little patio tables outside and little umbrellas on top of them even though it rarely gets hot in England. 

I park the car and sit at a table to wait for Perrie. Ten minutes later, she arrives looking as good as ever in blue skinny jeans, a red open shoulder shirt and her hair in waves down her shoulders. Her overall body looks great, but her face surprisingly doesn't. It's twisted up nervously and her bottom lip is sucked into her mouth. Just like me, I know that when Pierre does that, she's either hiding something or is extremely nervous. She has no reason to be nervous around me, so I'm guessing it's the former.

"What's wrong?" I inquire as soon as she sits down. I'm not one for patience.

"Nothing. Why would something be wrong?" Her voice is slightly higher pitched then usual and she won't meet my eyes. Something is definitely. I narrow my eyes at her, but drop the subject--for now.

We order our sandwiches and sit in a heavy silence.

"Perrie, I want to know what it is you're hiding and I want to know now!" I whisper demandingly for her ears only. She stares at the ground again and assures me nothing is wrong. 

"Bullsh*t"

Perrie gasps, knowing that I only use foul language when I am truly pissed off. "I'll tell you after we eat, okay?"

I nod, satisfied with an actual answer from her and make idle chit chat while we wait. I do most of the talking and Perrie just says a few mono symbolic words every now and then. Usually, we can talk for hours, but right now she was acting like this is our first date--scratch that, our first date wasn't even this bad. She was starting to remind me of this girl I've dated that really killed the conversation.

Our food finally arrives and I am grateful for a distraction, even a short one. Perrie finishes her sandwich hastily, as if she has somewhere to be, but I know she doesn't because we scheduled this date when we didn't have anything to do. 

"Alright," I say as I wipe the excess sauce from my mouth, "now tell me what you're hiding,"

Perrie stares at the ground again. I'm just about to open my mouth to ask her again, but her next words shock me into silence.

"Zayn, I want to break up,"

My breath catches in my lungs and i make a silent prayer that I heard her incorrectly. Pierre was my world right now. i wouldn't say that I was in love with her, but I truly cared for her. I never even thought we would break up any time soon.

She sees the look on my face and apologizes profusely. "I'm sorry Zayn, but I just don't feel anything when I'm with you anymore. I'd hate to waste your time, dating a girl who isn't even in love with you,"

Her "apology" just makes everything worse. She doesn't feel anything anymore? Am I really that boring now?

"I'll always love you. I'm just not IN love with you. You don't deserve to waste your time with someone who can't love you," She continues. 

I hold up a hand, signaling her to stop. "Just stop Perrie. I get it. We're breaking up. I enjoyed my time with you, but I must also confess that I wasn't in love with you either," That part is actually true. Now that I think about it, I never really had deep feelings for Pierre that could be classified as love. 

She looks a little hurt by my sentence, but sucks it up. She stands and I mimic the motion.

"I guess this is the end," She says quietly. Her gray eyes will filled with all kinds of emotion, regret; sadness; and slight guilt. I look away from those gray eyes that's I've spent countless hours staring into.

"Bye Zayn," Her voice cracks at the end and my heart hurts a little. You are not going to cry, I scold myself. She reaches over for one last hug. I am enveloped into her lovely flowery scent and realize that this is the last time I'll be hugging her. This makes me give her a slight squeeze and hold her longer than usual.

"Goodbye Perrie," I say softly against her ear. She walks away without a second glance. i don't blame her. It'd be even harder to break up with someone if you looked back to see their reaction.

I trudge to my car, a black Bently Contental that I treated myself to after our first US tour. 

I grip the steering wheel until my knuckles turn white and try to get a grip on my emotions. They're just a whirlwind of hurt, angry, and sadness right now. I take a few deep breaths and manage to get myself under control enough to drive. I don't want to go back home where I know one of the boys might be there. I can't let them see me in the state I'm in.

But I do know one person who I can.