Stumbling Upon This Thing Called Love

{Chapter 30} ~Annabelle~

"I'm afraid I have some bad news," Elda says at my appointment. She wrings her hands nervously and averts her gaze from mine. Elda never does that, this must be bad.

"We looked at your x-rays and," She pauses. "And it seems as though you have a tumor,"

"What?!"

"You've developed a tumor, dangerously close to your heart,"

It's hard to breathe now, as if a band has been placed over my chest, cutting off all the air. 

"How does that affect me?" I croak out. I don't want to know, but I the same time, I do.

Elda looks down. "If it gets to your heart, you could go into cardiac arrest and die,"

I was expecting that type of answer, but it hurt all the same when she said it.

"We could try removing it with surgery, but in your condition, it's much too risky. I'm sorry to tell you this, but you may have about three months to live if you don't do the surgery,"

I almost laugh aloud. if this were some movie, I'd accept my fate and make a bucket list of some sort. Then, when I finished doing all those things, it would turn it I didn't have cancer to begin with and I'll live a healthy happy life!

But, this isn't some Disney movie. In real life, devasted doesn't even begin to cover how I feel. So, it finally got me. The cancer was finally going to take my life. I didn't even get to go to college. 

Thinking of college reminds me of my friends and family. How is Daddy going to feel about this? And Lasyannaga? Who knows how they'd take the news. I just knew they wouldn't take it well. 

And what about Zayn? No way was I telling Zayn about this. I can’t hurt more people. I will have to do something so terrible, that he'll hate me first and forget about me. It was the only way.

I let out a deep sigh. "Thanks for telling me, Elda,"

she rest a hand on my shoulder. "It doesn’t have to end this way. We could try the surgery,"

I nod impassively and hold her arm for support as we walk back to my room. I sink into the crisp sheets and fall into a deep slumber where nightmares about the telling my loved ones the news haunt me.

                                                                                       *  *  *

"I have to tell you something, Lasy," I say quietly to her over the phone.

"What is it?" I can hear the concern in her voice.

"Come to my room at the hospital so i can tell you face to face,"

She arrives only a few minutes later. She looks at my face and immediately frowns.

"This is bad news, isn't it?" She says as she takes a seat beside me. I only nod.

"Are you going to tell me?"

"Yes," My voice is barely above a whisper. I twiddle my thumbs a bit before going on. "ThedoctorsaysIhaveapproximatelythreemonthslefttolive,"

"'Scuse me?" She immediately says. By the look on her face, i can tell she understood what I said, but still needed confirmation on it.

"The doctor says I have approximately three months left to live," I repeat.

Lasy's face is blank for a moment. "You're joking, right? ’Cause if you is, it ain't funny,"

I stare at my hands. "I wish I was joking,"

You know that face people make right before they cry? That's what Lasyannaga was doing. Her face was crumbling and pierced my heart to watch her cry. Lasy has never cried in front of me. EVER. I didn't think she even had tear ducts.

"But, I thought--and the--" She squeaks out, on the verge of tears.

"Me, too," I wrap her in a hug. Her body racks with sobs as her tears stain my gown. 

After a few moments, she pulls away from me. "How did this even happen?"

I explain to her how the cancer is progressing and her face gets that crumpling crying look again.

"What are we going to do?"

I look her in the eye for the first time since she came here. "I don't know,"