The imperfection we called our love | ✔

*Seven*

The next few days that followed I stayed at home, I was pretty beat and weak.

There were some glass shards that had lodged itself in my back from when I had slept on the kitchen floor on the lovely comfortable mat of glass.

The glass had wedged itself neatly into chunks of my skin, which Matt had to eventually pry out because my arms wouldn't reach.

He cried a lot and his hand shook when he removed it causing more pain, but he got the job done.

There was a little blood on my bed when I had gotten back to my room the next morning when Matt woke me and had put my arm over his narrow shoulders, in attempt to help ease my pain

The first thing I did was look down to in between my legs, - because that was exactly what I needed to make things worse. But there was no sign of blood.

Where could it have come from, because I hadn't been in my room whole night? I walked slowly to my bed catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I was a mess. I smoothed my hair down, and felt at the back of my head that the hair was stuck together and crusted to my head. I pulled the hair from my scalp

''Fuck!'' It hurt

I felt underneath the dried hair and found a wound, which was a small gash on my head.

I thought back to yesterday, to where I knocked my head on the stairway rail, - which also explained the blood on my bed.

The days went on, Matt went to school. I stood in the shower for long periods of time, where I let myself cry some more.

The pain in my back was excruciating, I bit down on my tongue, the water seeping into the wounds rinsing away the glass and vodka remains.

I gripped the edge of the shower door, the water burned my skin. I shut the faucet, and climbed out the shower and stood in front of the mirror,

What a mess I was.

I told Amanda to send me all the notes of all the work I missed in the few days I was out of school, just so I wasn't completely bored at home.

I went out of the house the night Dave's parties would usually commence. I could stay at home, I had been doing a terrific job of that whole week, but I was bored and I had a plan.

When I arrived Amanda spotted me first and came running towards me, arms outstretched ready to embrace me

I was rarely out of school, even when I was sick.

''Where have you been all week?'' She asked hastily

''I wasn't feeling well?'' I declared, not entirely lying

''And you feeling better now'' she asked devilishly

I smiled at her and we walked inside, and when she put her arm around my shoulder I bit down on the pain and smiled at her.

That was the night I let myself act like any other stupid teenager.

Four drinks in - of something that to me tasted like air-freshener, paper and vinegar, I found Finn sitting outside on the bench out front.

I went outside and sat on the same bench as him, the alcohol making me more confident than usual.

Two seconds of sitting there, a girl came outside holding two cups and spotted me sitting quite comfortably there. She told me to move and looked at Finn like she had some weird right to sit there, I gathered she had sat here before, and I had 'stolen' her seat

''Scoot'' she snapped

I didn't care, and I didn't move

''Eat my ass'' I said nonchalantly, I wasn't in the mood.